I've not encountered any of the things you're describing on the Steemit chat, and have found it a very useful and tight knit community that has served me well. It let me get to know people and forge new connections without any issues.
I am doubtful of your intentions when you use framings like:
"Without naming names, you had better dial it down. Women are vital contributors to this community, and if this kind of nonsense continues, steemit will get a reputation as a place that is dominated by a bunch of rowdy women bashers. Don't piss us off or call us names when we say or do something you perceive as a personal affront."
Using threats and hyperbole only serve to make an ass of yourself and your point. If you're taking the moral high ground then don't fight fire with fire. It's hypocritical.
Maybe the problem is not just the chat?
feel free to pm me if you want multiple screenshots of users being abused, threatened with physical harm, etc. There is lots to choose from.
What is the link to the room you said you started ? X