Even though, I agree with you on this that for the most part, you will need to check yourself...
Stop and say “do I really want to be a part of this?”.
But still why do you want to look at things in that way of Positive and negative. If it's about being judgemental then please see that your judgement is about these 2 things in particular a). Survival. b). Work ( family, job, business, etc ). Otherwise, there's no need for judgement. Isn't it so??
If it's about action then action is always as per the requirement of the situation and is directed towards a goal. The only choice you have is to be pleasant or unpleasant. That's all I can perceive. Let me know if you can perceive anything else.
Fact of the matter:- It's your choice to be pleasant or unpleasant within yourself. If the outside situations have to go your way then you need the other person to CO-OPERATE with you. Otherwise, you can only these situations to a certain extent. But within yourself it is 100% your decision to be pleasant or unpleasant.