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I never thought of the passive/aggressive guilt...I guess that's another way to put it. Ha! Well, when a kid literally reaches into his pants and scratches his butt, I will do whatever it takes to get him to wash his hands!

It depends on the intention behind the suggestions. I shared in another reply how this method is perfect for me. I can be like a distracted child with ADHD. I'm in a hurry to go to the next thing and stop paying attention to what I'm doing. When someone points out something​ I've forgotten and know to do. I naturally do the right thing. I don't need to be shamed into doing it. But given the way that I was brought up, I'm more susceptible​ to feeling shame if the wording of the​ sentence that brings my attention back is to similar to how I was shamed in the past.

It's just a nicer way of talking to people, really. Ordering folks sucks.