I feel uncomfortable if I have a special order (and with a wheat allergy I often do) for the simple reason that I'm not that good at talking to strangers. It's some kind of block in my brain, when I'm faced with someone I don't know, coupled with the pressure of a queue of people behind me, my mind goes blank. Even if I've rehearsed what I want to say in my head, as soon as the server's attention turns on me, I suddenly can't remember what I was going to ask for. Living in Austria, there's an additional language factor to take into account. Sometimes I skip ordering anything fancy for the sake of an easy life!
I have to say that like the touch screens in McDonalds for that reason. No pressure to talk. Just a shame that I try to eat healthily so I'm not in there that often. :D
Another concern I have with special orders is that the server will forget it or mess it up. Sadly, it's happened to me a few times that the supposedly wheat-free order actually wasn't. It can be hard to trust a busy and stressed server with your stomach's wellbeing.
Yes, that is certainly a valid concern. We had one occasion at a local Italian restaurant and they were very busy. The woman taking our order was not a usual waitress. She may have even been the owner's wife, she certainly carried herself like she owned the place, rather snobbish. Anyway, she was obviously annoyed with all my questions about ingredients in their dishes. I in turn felt like a nuisance and settled on a dish I was unsure about. For some reason hers was the last dish to come out and they ended up adding cheese even though I emphasized no cheese. When I brought it up she snapped that it would take 20 Minutes to remake the dish. My daughter cried because everyone else was eating but her. We've never gone back and I share my experience with anyone who asks for local recommendations. Unfortunate that she couldn't show some compassion for a child.