Issue 22- Out Of Context: Super Heroes: My First Dictionary
With summer coming to an end and college quickly approaching, my schedule is getting busier and busier so I hope you forgive a bit of a smaller post. However, I want to assure everyone that if you want some of the weirdest, most out of context hero scenes ever you want to read, Dc’s Dictionary is the place to find them!
I know you all seen a part of it. You ever heard of the Lex Luthor cake meme?
(The meme actually became cannon! I know right?)
Well that was just one of the weird and wacky excerpts from this book. Get ready, things are about to get crazy, creepy, and outright hilarious! And trust me, 40 cakes is the least strangest thing to happen in this book. And that's terrible...
D is For…
So what’s every parent's worst fear? Their kids dying? Drugs? The sex talk? Maybe. How about teaching your kids to drive!
(WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE BAT-MOBILE ROBIN! IS THIS WHY BATMAN SLAPS YOU?)
I love how Batman seems so nonchalant about careening off a cliff as Robin acknowledges this might have been a mistake. Still, at least we know that Batman loves to go on long, quiet car rides. There's something for you ladies and gentleman!
D is also for…
DECIDE! My god Lois, look out. This is silver age superman! He might kill you or worse! Look at that grin! He’s letting you do this!
(I want to know how the argument got that far! Also... NO COMMENTS @vaughndemont NONE!)
Drive or fly Supes… DRIVE OR FLY!
C is for…
So maybe silver age Superman had a reasoning for being so twisted. Lead poisoning!
(You notice they mention what he should be doing but make no effort to force him to stop…)
Seriously, this was the 70’s! You know there was lead in that paint! Also... who the hell sews together a suit for a baby! This isn't the Incredibles!
C is also for…
Creepy…
(No picture but just the text will suffice. Still...WHY HAL! WHY!)
Seriously, what reason would a grown man buy a toy duck! Except for...evil means!
C is...NO!
NO.
(WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA!)
I’ll say it again. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! Dc, you created the Joker. He’s evil! This is not a man who should be around children let alone the public!
C is...Wait...what….?
The word chosen comes up a lot in comics. "The Chosen One" being a big trope. So, what exactly does DC decide to come up with for their definition of this? Take a minute to think before you really look at the answer. Got it in your head? Good, now throw that all away and get ready for a complete non-sequitur.
(LOOK AT AQUAMAN’S FACE! THOSE POOR PEOPLE!)
Waterpolo. Walrus...waterpolo. IS this the best you guys could do? Really? I just want to rant about this but I think I’d best move on.
T is for….TERROR!
So… Hal…. The man without fear… UNTIL NOW!
(My god he looks like he’s about to have a heart attack!)
Seriously, I don’t think I’ve seen Hal ever this distressed! It’s...HAl-ARIOUS! And I just lost 90 percent of my readers…
T...Na, I’m Out
That’s it. Issue over. Of all the nonsensical...crazy… I mean…
(No...words… So many questions. WHY!)
WHY IS HE TAKING A GIANT TEASPOON TO A GIANT! Why is he running from the law! Did he steal it? Why does the Giant need it! SO MUCH DUMB!
This was supposed to be a nice, easy fun list and instead here I am frothing at the mouth over...WELL LOOK AT THOSE! LOOK AT WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!
Ahem. Ok, next week we’ll be going back to give some great characters more exposure with another issue of My Hero. This time with Booster Gold! The Greatest Hero You Never Heard Of! Excelsior!
Source
http://thesuperdictionary.tumblr.com
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : https://vaughndemont.com/comicscorner/2018/08/07/issue-22-out-of-context-super-heroes-my-first-dictionary/