What would you say is the most interesting discovery made by CERN to the best of your knowledge at this point? I've heard a lot of mystical and far fetched theories of the actual implications of what CERN is actually experimenting ranging from other dimensions, to opening portals, plus all the symbolism they use from the Shiva statue outside to their actual logo somehow implying 666 and that odd dance video they came out with a few years ago called Symmetry. All very interesting but what's the real purpose or end goal of the project as far as you're aware; if you can't say for professional reasons I respect that as well.
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Everything that comes out of CERN is public, and is published in scientific journal papers so also readeable for non-CERN people (although of course I admit we use some jargon which can confuse non-experts).I am allowed to say anything I want, there are no limitations to that from CERN. If you want to read more I propose you start with some popular science books, for example the one by Jon Butterwhorth.
Essentially the whole list of 'theories' you give are fictional conspiracy theories and not true. We do have a statue of Shiva that was given to us by the Indian government when India joined CERN. Some of us don't like having a religious symbol on site but it is a pretty statue at least, better than having a large crucifix I guess. And it is just a bronze statue, nothing more than that :)
So:
So what IS the real purpose? We study collisions of one particle on one particle in extremely controlled conditions. Those conditions also happen in the earth's atmosphere, but are of course impossible to measure in detail there.
Why do we study those collisions: because we can use those collisions to figure out how all matter, atoms, etc around us sticks together and what building blocks it is made of. This is important knowledge that will help scientists figure out how the universe started to exist, but also gives us more knowledge on the world around us.