Nice set up. We get the "bad hombre" vibe immediately, along with some nuances. There's more to The Man With Know Name than just guns of death. He feels his appearance is important. He's not reckless. He knows he is a marked man because of what he does. His horse has been through a lot, too. He's exacting about certain things.
And then, of course, the obligatory cliffhanger ending!
Where's the gun, and more importantly, who took it? Does he madly search the cave now, thinking he might have left it elsewhere, or does he get himself as far away from the cave as he can? Why else would whoever took the gun do so, if not to kill him while he slept? Still a big risk—they must know the first thing No Name would do is reach for it when he laid down. And apparently, there is at least one person who doesn't know, or doesn't care that you don't steal from No Name.
Okay, I think I'm hooked. :)
Good! I'm glad you were picking up on those "nuances." I had my wife read it first, but I wasn't sure if I was getting all of that across. I've rewritten this many times over the last few days. It should have been posted 2 days ago, but I kept doing rewrites. Also, (and you'll be happy to know this) it was originally going to cover more plot, but it got too long, so I had to split it. Therefore, the next part is already written, it just needs to go into rewrite. You'll like the next one. :)
Those are all good questions! They're ones that I was intentionally trying to get the reader to ask.
Yes, there is!
Thanks for your comments. They're insightful and probing, as always. Makes sense that you were in the publishing business. :)
I've had to write myself out of a few corners I've painted myself into, so I've found it's extremely useful to ask those questions before I paint myself into the corner, but strangely enough, I always had fun figuring out how to get out of it, regardless.
Ah, rewrites. Never seems like you have enough of them.
I'll have to start asking those questions to plan out where the story is going long-term... if I decide to go long-term. The advancements in the story have mainly been in response to the prompts from the writing group. I'll have the next one ready soon, but beyond that I'll need to start putting together a storyboard.