RE: Storytelling Mentorship Group - My Bedroom

[mandelsage]

Uhm.... Fiction! Right? ;P

Creepy... Reminds me of one episode of Doctor Who... And in fact wouldn't be surprised if you've seen it and that's what inspired this story.

You seem to have made an editing booboo in the last paragraph?

Also, just in case you've missed my earlier comment, here is my bedroom post:
https://steemit.com/story-mentor/@mandelsage/my-bedroom-s-writing-mentor-task-with-michelle-gent-3

=)

Comments

[michelle.gent]

If anything, the story that inspired this story is 'Prey' by Graham Masterton - I read it a number of years ago.

I can't seem to see the mistake in the last paragraph... can you explain please?

I’ve checked the corner. The wallpaper hasn’t been disturbed. Whatever the wallpaper covers hasn’t been disturbed. Perhaps I should take a look for myself?

I wonder if you're confused. At the start of the story, it says the corner is covered over...

But there’s something odd about the far corner. The room is not entirely square, there’s a door-width indentation at the corner. It’s papered over, but I suppose it looks like there was a door there once. Maybe a disused closet or possibly a door up to the attic. It didn’t bother me, it’s not been used for years by the looks of things.

So, the wallpaper hasn't been disturbed.

Whatever the wallpaper in the corner covers hasn't been disturbed.

Please feel free to point out mistakes, but please be more specific. It helps to know what's wrong, rather than casting about trying to see something you've overlooked before (you're bound to keep overlooking it).

Thanks for reading. :)

[mandelsage]

Oh! I'm sorry, I was pretty tired, not sure how I didn't understand that. I was just seeing the first sentence repeated, with 'covers' in there as a noun. My apologies.

[michelle.gent]

LOL No need for apologies, I appreciate that you care enough to let me know :)