RE: Upside Deaf ; Bedroom Story Mentorship

I don't think you quite grasped exactly what I meant with the Bedroom project.

Your next project for the Mentorship Group is to tell me something about where you live. No, not your town, not your street, think closer.
Tell me something about where you sleep – you can’t get more personal than that.
I don’t mind if it’s fact, fiction or a mixture, tell me as much detail about your bed, bedroom, sleeping quarters as you possibly can.
Tell me how you feel about the room, your bed, your bedcovers, your pillows.
Give me detail, make me think I’m there, seeing what you see, thinking what you think.
Draw your readers in. Take your time, make it interesting, not a list of what’s on your dressing table, textures, smells, thoughts.

I feel this story is a little bit of an amalgamation of the move Scream and an urban legend (the one where the murderer is actually in the house with the babysitter and the kids).

Because of the disjointed 'text' messages, I feel the reader is left out rather than drawn in - the message is between two people - neither of which is your reader.

If you want to have another go, that's cool :)