This is, I believe, the saddest article I read on steemit. Not sure how easy it was for you to share this but I hope it will pay off.
- Noone is wrong. We do wrong things, we do good things. This does not makes us either good or wrong. Labels are never helpful as they only narrow the whole. We are complete, with our shadows and our good parts. I named them Nitroglicerina(sum of all my shadows) and Balerina(sum of all the best in me). I love them both and I need them both to be complete. And Nitro was in a very bad shape when I acknoledged her as I struggled for more than 20 years to live just the good in me.
- Perception is projection. And maybe the thing people need the most is predictibility to feel safe. The combination between this 2 will make us project our fear when we don't understand the ones around and see them as wrong. It's applicable both ways.
Reading about you saying that your mother wanted to hurt you almost made me cry. I don't think any parent will want to harm their child. Is the same feeling of loosing control that is making us react like this (not an excuse for her behavior, just for her intentions).
All the parts you now want to cut from yourself were once helpful. They were your defence mechanism. Try to accept them, recognize their contribution in your development and let them go.
I would hug you but I have a very best friend with a similar story and I know hugs are not her type, only if she initiates it's fine:)
Very well said, Alina