I had a very similar thought pattern in my life years back...partly because I always listened to other people's stories and lived my life through them...because my life was chaotic I was a fairly shy person...I never felt I had a life for many years...at least not one people wanted to hear about..so I always saw writing as an outlet to communicate...it was also my secret dream to obviously write a book everyone raved about....then I would get the recognition I so craved...
Ironically...I found a program that allowed me to accept me as me...I didn't have to make excuses...I did have a story just not like everyone else's...I still had a lot to share...funny...as I became more comfortable with myself...I found more of a voice...as I spoke more...found the need to write lessen...regardless...wish you great joy in your journey...don't write the ending first...just start taking the steps and see where it leads....
thanks for your compliment @bobreedo