This poem explores the skewed dogmatic view of life we are taught as children that makes us conform to society, losing our individuality and often lying to ourselves as adults about what we really want from life. We end up feeling lost and unable to resist the web we find ourselves in, looking for distractions in substance abuse and celebrity worship.
I just don’t get it,
What is it all for?
Why do we do this when we all get shown the door.
I know its all wrong,
But I feel powerless, hopeless to resist,
Fear grips me, this dogma is so strong.
Will I ever find someone who understands?
Will I ever live like these idolised bands?
Smiles, flashing lights and Prada,
Life could be worse, but I feel like I have nada.
I look inside, I’m empty.
This outside, this bravado, it gets me through,
Fake, as it is, what can I do.
All these vices, these indulgencies they tempt me,
I’m feeling like I’m wasting, will I ever find something worth tasting?
Every younger year was spent a dreaming,
Looking for that future feeling.
But that futures here now and I’m still looking for that thing,
That one, what hopes been leading.
I just don’t know what to say,
What to feel, what to work, what to play.
I had it all figured out I thought,
You know me, using what I get taught.
But no, its all wrong, its all just fucked up,
This ain’t me.
This ain’t what I wanted to be.
I have forgotten myself, I have lied to me
by The Count of Delphi