There was the hero. There was the princess. And there was the usurper. They stood facing each other, their fierce eyes locked as though in eternal combat.
The princess hid behind the mighty armour and sword of the hero, who poised in faithful courage, readied himself, even to die for her!
"Don't mess with her!" He, the hero, declared!! And as his sword glinted in the sea of sunlight., he added:
"If you mess with her, you mess with me!!!"
The usurper was ready for this. His eyes met the golden eyes of the princess and they half nodded in silent understanding. Then the usurper laid down his weapon to the great surprise of the hero. He advanced two steps forward very carefully, just as the princess edged away from behind the hero such that the three of them now stood as though in a triangle.
Then the sounds came out, simultaneously, and in short, trenchant spells. At first, it was difficult to decipher for they were crisp, 'popping' sounds which made the hero think of the forceful opening of many wine bottles in succession, or the pricking of myriads of inflated balloons with needles by excited children; none of which made any sense in the current situation.
The sounds graduated in velocity, from the short bursts of sounds at regular intervals to long, drawn out raps, like a multitude of rain drops hitting an aluminium roof above you... The hero was not a little confused! Why was the princess and the usurper making these offensive, inhuman sounds together, and at the same time?
It didn't take too long for the smell to hit him, in a force more potent than the hurl of Zeus's lightning. It had him reeling backwards, and his grip on his sword dwindled. The smell was thick and wiry. It stayed on the air, and on pieces of clothing, laying an atrocious claim to them. The smells travelled down the hero's throat and dared to choke him! He wrestled with them for minutes until he was able to catch his breath again. He looked, muddled and incensed, at the usurper and the princess.
The usurper and princess, concluding their bout, with elongated sighs of relief, took up arms and positions again; the usurper to his weapon, the princess, to the back of the hero.
"What is this?" The hero demanded with fervour and disgust as he looked from the usurper to the princess.
"Ah valiant sir", the usurper began, "long has it been my dream to mess with you."
The hero looked at him blankly, distrusting and appalled.
"And" the usurper continued, "since you said the only way to mess with you is to mess with her."
He heaved a triumphant sigh and continued:
"Here, I have messed with her. I hope now to be granted leave, to mess with you, valiant sir"...
And the hero fainted.
