If you're loved by someone, you're never rejected, decide what to be and GO BE IT
-The Avett brothers
Recommend Reading Introduction to Unproven
DEFINITELY READ Prologue
Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three
Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six
Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty One
Chapter Twenty Two Chapter Twenty Three Chapter Twenty Four
Chapter Twenty Five Chapter Twenty Six Chapter Twenty Seven
Chapter Twenty Eight Chapter Twenty Nine Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty One Chapter Thirty Two Chapter Thirty Three
Chapter Thirty Four Chapter Thirty Five Chapter Thirty Six
Chapter Thirty Seven Chapter Thirty Eight Chapter Thirty Nine
Chapter Forty One
It was the morning of the first day of senior year and Nanna, who had returned a week prior, had prepared a feast for breakfast.
"Aryanne, why are you picking at your food?"
She glanced up guiltily then back at her plate. Her stomach was in knots, even if she wanted to make her grandma happy by stuffing her face just the thought of it made her queasy.
Nanna sat down next to her and sighed gustily. "This is about that boy isn't it?"
Her eyes started to burn. Hell no, she was not going to cry! She swallowed convulsively, but the lump refused to go down.
Nanna sighed again. "There is nothing quite like first love, especially in our family. Once we set our sights..." she trailed off, looking wistful.
"Was grandpa your first love?" Ary asked, honestly curious but also wanting to divert the attention from herself.
Nanna smiled fleetingly. "He sure was."
When it appeared nothing more was forthcoming, Ary stood.
Nanna put a hand on her arm. "What's meant to be, will be."
Ary managed a small smile, "I know that Nanna."
"A woman now," Nanna murmured. "And I'm too far behind the times to be of much help."
Ary started to protest but her grandma squeezed her arm gently to stop her.
"You are a beautiful, intelligent, young woman with a big heart. No matter what mistakes you make, I'm confident you'll be just fine in the end because you also have that Gilson inner strength. An iron core that can't be shattered."
Ary smiled. "Thank you Nanna," she said softly, bending down and kissing the small, fierce woman on her velvety soft cheek.
Nanna let go of her arm and gave it a pat and Ary watched as she made her way down the hall to the bathroom. She had never been a gabby woman and while once upon a time she'd wished it were otherwise, now she was grateful. Freedom is what she was giving her now, trust that she could make her own way from here. She hoped that in the end she would prove worthy of it.
**
Ary leaned her head against the passenger side window of Andie’s car trying to quell the anxiety churning in her stomach.
“Hey,” Andie said, putting a hand on Aryanne's arm. “It will be fine, you’ll see.”
Ary nodded and tried for a reassuring smile.
“I’m serious. What did we talk about?” Andie insisted.
Ary laughed briefly. “I know, I know, our whole lives are in front of us, a beautiful promise, and we are beautiful.” She made a face, “I believe that I really do. And I love who I am.” She smiled widely to emphasize her statement.
Andie laughed, tossing her long brown hair and landing it in a purposefully suggestive manner. “We are so hot.”
“Hell yeah we are!” Sonya exclaimed from the back seat, her professionally done braids making the noise of a rattle as the beads on their ends clinked together.
Ary joined Andie in laughter, resisting another peek in the mirror. She looked good. Great in fact. Thanks to her relationship with Grayson she’d still had over two hundred dollars in her savings when she’d checked it a week ago, more than enough to visit a salon and buy several outfits. At least she had that to be grateful to him for. She hadn’t had to get a summer job after all.
Her smile faded slightly. What Andie couldn’t understand about her feelings was that they didn’t have anything to do with how she felt about herself. She did think she was pretty fucking awesome, personality and otherwise. The problem was that she still loved the guy her friends despised and was more concerned about his well-being than her own.
She knew about Amanda. She would’ve had to have her head buried in the sand not to know about that. It didn’t hurt her, not personally, it just made her feel sad. She knew Amanda was in for a fall of astronomic proportions, and unlike herself the girl would not recover with her self-esteem intact. As far as Gray was concerned, it would only do more injury to his soul, push him farther into the black hole that could ultimately decimate any semblance of humanity he had in him. And that broke her heart because she wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn’t with her.
**
The first half of the day was uneventful other than an announcement informing them that the senior lounge was closed for renovations for a few days, meaning the senior class would be eating in the cafeteria with the rest of the students. Nothing serious unless you were Brooke, Kara, and Lisa who behaved as if it was an apocalyptic event. She shared no classes, or more aptly study-halls, with either Grayson or Amanda, and that was an enormous relief. She only had two graded classes per day, first period Photography and seventh period Intro to Computer Science, so mostly she would be spending her time in the library, a place neither of the aforementioned were likely to frequent.
By the time the lunch bell rang she was feeling optimistic about her chances of making it through the day without incident. She walked to the cafeteria with her bagged meal and joined Andie and Sonja at a table against the windows smiling widely as she sat. “So how’s your day goin-,” She started.
A commotion near the back of the large room interrupted her and the three of them turned to see what it was about. Their eyes widened in unison, a mixture of pity and horror chasing across their expressions as Amanda got physically pushed backward and out of a circle of tables by Brooke and Lisa.
“Grayson!” Amanda cried out desperately.
Ary scanned the area and located him reclining on the shelf of radiators, an amused expression on his handsome face. She swallowed hard as Amanda turned and fled the room while a series of insults were flung at her back.
“Oh my God,” Sonya breathed.
“No, not God,” Andie said with venom, “Satan.”
Ary frowned down at her turkey sandwich. She could feel Andie’s eyes on her and felt a sudden flash of anger. “What do you want from me?” She demanded as she looked up and met her friend’s eyes. “Should I feel sorry for the girl who was supposed to be my friend then stabbed me in the back?”
“No…”
“Good, no, that’s all I wanted to hear,” she interjected before Andie could insert her “but”. She went back to concentrating on her sandwich. Of course she did feel sorry for Amanda, but she knew that wasn’t what Andie was after. Her friend was determined to demonize Grayson, and she wouldn’t do that. Couldn’t do that. She inwardly smiled in gratitude as Sonya changed the subject to something light and the matter was dropped.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully and after the final bell she hurried to her locker, waiting impatiently for Andie and Sonya to meet her so she could get out of there. She'd had three study halls after lunch and had spent the majority of that time in the library where she'd tried and failed to concentrate on a book. Images of Amanda fleeing the cafeteria kept running through her head filling her with conflicting feelings. On one level she felt bad for her former friend, on another she couldn't help thinking she'd brought it on herself.
“Hey Ary.”
She turned around and stared at Dori for a second before nodding slightly.
“Yeah, I get that you don’t trust me and totally understand,” Dori said with a slight shake of her head. “But I genuinely like you Ary, and while I know our friendship was probably based solely on Grayson, I was kind of hoping you had come to like me on my own merit. Though I’d understand if that wasn’t the case.”
Ary stared at the girl, taking in the new blue tips on her dyed blonde head before focusing on her face. Her brown eyes appeared earnest. In fact she was looking at Ary as if she were awaiting the answer of a queen.
Ary smiled at the thought and ducked her head as her smile grew.
Dori’s brows drew in.
“Sorry, it’s just that…,” Ary’s words died as she noted the look of hurt and embarrassment that flashed across the girl’s face. “I’m sorry,” she said again, this time without humor.
Dori nodded, her lips twisting in a self-deprecating expression. “Like I said, I understand.”
Ary studied her for a moment before recalling the main reason she had for distrusting her. “You told Amanda that Sonya was propositioning Grayson,” she said flatly.
Dori nodded slowly meeting Ary’s stare directly. “Yes I did. He told me what was supposedly said and I did what I always do- lent credibility.”
Ary’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t understand.”
Dori made a helpless gesture with her hand. “I know you don’t.” She sighed and looked at her evenly. “I’m going to level with you; I’m for him. It’s a decision I made long ago, one that has served me well. So the reason I’m standing here talking to you is simply this; I believe he’s going to come to terms with what a stupid mistake he made and come for you. I believe he actually cared, and still cares about you. Grayson Teller is my only true friend and I’m the one and only person that’s just slightly outside of this to see the truth. And you Aryanne, matter to him. You matter a great deal. He hasn’t admitted it to himself yet let alone me, but I know it. And I’m telling you this because…Shit.” She laughed derisively and shook her head. “Because I’m an idiot maybe. But I think you deserve him to care about you. I know what your friends would say, that he’d be lucky if he ever deserved you; and maybe they’re right. But they don’t really know him, they’re judging him for things they could never understand.” Dori stopped and bit her lip. “I have absolutely said too much.”
Ary looked at the girl, doing nothing to hide the war going on in her heart that certainly showed on her face. Dori studied her for a few moments before smiling and nodding. Then without another word she turned and walked away. Ary thought about stopping her, but realized she had no idea what she would say, what there was to say. She believed Dori was being genuine. Everything she’d said had rung true, it was the same way she ultimately felt. And besides, what reason would she have to say those things if she didn’t believe them?
**
I’ll tell you exactly what reason she has to say those things. Ary flipped over on her bed pulling the pillow over her head, half of her wishing she was too clueless to figure out what Dori's ambush really meant; that Grayson had decided the game wasn’t over. She knew that had to be it, after all he hadn’t actually won. She’d spent some time with a few of his past flings courtesy of Andie- and yeah, she certainly hadn’t turned out like them. Nothing like them. And he’d known or at least suspected that he’d failed when it came to her. So it was highly likely that he intended to continue playing with her.
And why doesn't that thought piss me off the way it should? Instead she felt…excited. If he really did intend to resume the game all she would have to do was continue being exactly who she was- and maybe this time she would reach him. She grinned and kicked her feet.
“What are you doing?”
Ary flipped around and tried to wipe the guilty look off her face. “Andie, seriously, you need to learn to knock,” she told her with a forced laugh.
Andie ignored the remark as her eyes narrowed. “You looked like you were doing a victory dance, what was that about?”
Ary made a face and shook her head.
“Bullshit, tell me.”
She swore under her breath then proceeded to tell her an abbreviated version of the conversation with Dori along with her conclusion that the game was back on.
Andie stared at her for a moment too long.
“Oh fine, you don’t think that’s the case, I’m totally off base…”
“No,” Andie interrupted softly. “No, actually I think you’re right on the mark. But why did you do a victory dance over it Ary? Please tell me it’s because you’re planning to turn him down every step of the way or you’re going to completely ignore him. Please tell me that’s why.”
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Really? What do you think might happen next with Grayson and Ary?
Personally, I feel (or would like to believe) that this is all part of Gray's grand scheme. He hasn't encountered anyone quite like Ary who has the support of strong friends, so he could use all the help he could get as well. My earlier assumptions about Andie was woefully mistaken, so now I fully trust her when it comes to these things. Ary's still a bit blinded by her love, so she'll need someone who can see clearly while Gray's morality isn't that pliable yet.
PS Amanda's the worst.