Stolen Pony

in #story7 years ago (edited)


I saw this pic on Google and it reminded me of my drunken days. I live in a small town. Like really small. We give directions, not by streets but by counting chicken houses and corn fields. The kind of town where you go to the bar, not just to drink, but to pick up the empty pickle buckets for the farm.
So I am at the bar having a drink....or 12 and became way too drunk to drive. I couldn't call a cab because the karma in all of this is that I WAS the cab driver. A lot of people walked home that night, including me (well partially). I got halfway home, I think...could have been just 30 seconds after leaving the bar, I don't know. Apparently I was way too drunk to even walk, so I decided I was going to ride a horse home. Now, I don't own a horse, but I knew where to find one.
The next day I get woken up at the crack of noon by my roommate, who informs me that "the police are on the front porch and a horse is on the back porch. You explain it." Well, I ended up getting arrested for horse theft (of all charges, this is actually on my record). A few months later, I am standing in the courtroom, in front of a judge (who commended me for not driving that night) asking me to step into his chambers. He let me off with 18 months probation but had informed me that the penalty for horse theft is death by hanging. Only in a small town would this be possible. LOL This was back in 1993 and hanging was replaced in 1986 (thank God). Now you would think that I would have learned my lesson and sobered up, but that took another 5-6 years, but I never stole another horse.
"The official method of execution for Delaware was hanging until 1986, when lethal injection became the new official method, with the exception of those already sentenced to death by hanging."