It’s been a long time since I’ve had an epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphanea, "manifestation, striking appearance" is an experience of a sudden and striking realization). This used to happen to me all the time. I would be walking Amstel or doing something completely mundane and the solution to a problem or a creative idea would come to me all of a sudden, almost as if it was downloaded into my brain.
Well, last night I had one. I stepped out of the house to take Amstel on his last long walk of the day and was greeted by the most striking sunset on the mountains. Suddenly, it felt as though a veil was lifted. My old friend, the epiphany.
I’ve been in a creative slump for a while now, more than a year really. As a writer, this brings an tremendous amount of shame, pressure, and self doubt. I’m very hard on myself professionally and since I left my day job in 2017 to write full time writing has become a chore that I felt I must do to survive and to stay relevant. Once the career was truly aloft I felt like I had to keep flapping my wings feverishly or else I’d fall from the sky. This was paralyzing me. Sure, the recognition and the financial rewards came flooding in, which I’m super grateful for, but somewhere along the way writing stopped being fun.
I had been blaming my creative slump on the trauma of my Dad’s passing in 2020, a two year long project (HardFork) that failed, and the isolation and restrictions during the COVID-19 pandemic but I suddenly realized it was much more than that. As Amstel and I walked in the cooling desert air, I was mesmerized by the dazzling colors reflecting off the mountains in the golden light. I could finally breathe deeply and easily again. It was like meeting the person I was before.
All of a sudden I realized I can stop being so hard on myself and for once in my life just BE. The decades of hard work had begun to pay their dividends but success itself can distort so much. The pursuit of success can become an addiction of sorts, a never-ending journey and that is absolutely not what I want. It’s difficult to put into words how freeing this was.
I’ve felt the trauma melt away a little more each day in the three weeks we’ve been here, this red rock desert is magical that way. This is an extraordinarily grounding and healing place. It’s time to switch things into a lower gear, continue to heal, explore life and all of its many facets.
I have a feeling that by doing so some magical things will manifest. It's great to see the world through the lens of awe and wonder again. We have four more weeks here and I intend to use that time wisely and give myself a gift. To write from the heart, for me. Not for book sales, upvotes, clicks, follows, or praise…for me. I’ve realized it’s been a long while since I’ve truly done this. I want writing to feel sacred again. Hello old friend, it's so good to see you again.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
--
-Eric
(Photos are original.)
Poetry should move us, it should change us, it should glitch our brains, shift our moods to another frequency. Poetry should evoke feelings of melancholy, whimsy, it should remind us what it feels like to be in love, or cause us to think about something in a completely different way. I view poetry, and all art really, as a temporary and fragile bridge between our world and a more pure and refined one. This is a world we could bring into creation if enough of us believed in it. This book is ephemera, destined to end up forgotten, lingering on some dusty shelf or tucked away in a dark attic. Yet the words, they will live on in memory. I hope these words become a part of you, bubble up into your memory when you least expect them to and make you feel a little more alive.
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Let’s Keep In Touch
Hi Eric, sometimes nature and its beauty can bring inspiration and ideas to writers. In my opinion, it is necessary to do recreation or see new things so that ideas can arise. Hopefully you can be more productive in writing this year and the years to come. Have a nice day, Eric.
Hi Eliana, Nature is one of my best (and certainly most reliable) sources of inspiration. Thanks for your comment and I hope you have a wonderful rest of the week!
I completely agree with this. For example see Jess E. Owen. Nowadays she is one of my favorite fantasy writers. Nowadays she lives in the mountains of northwest Montana, which gives constant inspiration to her.
If anyone like the fantasy genre (especially greek mythology, including griffins and dragons), then I would gladly recommend her "The Summer King Chronicles" book series.
This book series consist of five books, and nowadays it is one of the best fantasy book series. At least in my opinion. It is one of my favorites. I love her books.
I'll have to look that author up. I've never heard of them. Thank you for the recommendation!
I can imagine how it feels to just do something for yourself and not for other pressures.
I really wish I could get to that point in my life where I was doing everything I wanted because I loved it.
I hope to get to this realization and I wish you happiness as you have found this happiness.
Do have a nice weekend
It takes most of us a while but if you're persistent you will get there @bhoa. I hope you enjoyed your weekend too!
Great to read about this. There's much I can relate to here and I'm glad you managed to be a little kinder to yourself and got to see the actual beauty of life, once again and more...
Thanks Vincent! There's so much more to life than the grind.
True that and I need to remind myself of that every single day. It's hard to get rid of the productivity bug/ - mantra that we grew up on.
This is very inspiring my friend. I can relate to how you feel. I am just now
truly finding out who l really am and focusing my energy in the right direction.
Now things are starting to happen. It’s all about being true to your self first and
for most. Nothing else matters.
Thanks, brother. You're right. It takes a while sometimes and who we really are evolves over time making it all the more difficult. It's important to do the work but also to live life and not become too obsessed with goals.
I can feel the pain, it hurts badly when one of our dear person leaves the world.
Covid had done so much damage. This cannot be denied.
The restrictions even in daily life have due to Covid-19 have affected almost all of us. I hope I will also meet my old friend where I left him before Covid-19.
However, even the pandemic ends, the burden of economic crisis will still remain. It seems we will struggle more than ever.
Have a good four weeks my friend.
It's taken me quite a while. There's just been so much tragedy and hardship surrounding us. Thank you @videoaddiction. I hope you all see the light of hope shining soon. It's just beginning to shine in this part of the world.
I am very sorry for what you have been going through, although writer's block is more common than it seems, especially in the conditions we have been living in recent years; Don't be so hard on yourselfHello dear friend @ericvancewalton good afternoon
What a joy what you have just discovered, without a doubt, the place is ideal to connect with the creative side. Enjoy every moment, be happy, creativity will manifest
Have a happy start of the week
Thank you! It feels good to be connected to that source of creativity once again. I hope it lasts a good long time. I hope you have a wonderful week!
I need some of whatever you are having. Seems I have finally lost my way, the rhythm, meaning, and nothing seems quite right. It occurred to me that I am just living at the moment. I am not sure how I got here, but, it needs to go away.
I am so happy that you have found new meaning! Keep stroking that thought. xo
PS... You deserve it!
Although there are lots of psychedelics around here I'm taking in nothing but beautiful scenery, warm temps, and R&R..I promise! Lol.
I felt the EXACT same way, Denise, like a radio that isn't quite tuned in fully to the station and you hear all of the static and distortion. Maybe a change of scenery would work for you too?
Thank you! : )
Really like your photography specially the red rock desert picture is looking like a painting. Really words can’t describe how complete the old memories make us feel.
Much appreciated!
Inspiration has no schedule. Welcome back, happy for you!
Thanks so much. So true, inspiration cannot be scheduled or coaxed.
This was deep.
I really hope the motivation stays - and it will be seen as an turning point. Stay strong!
!PIZZA
Thank you!
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