Life isn’t always smooth or easy. This makes perfect sense, after all, life doesn’t come with an instruction manual and most of our lessons have to be figured out in reverse. As we stumble about our own individual paths trying to figure it all out it's difficult not to look to others and measure ourselves against them.
The Comparison Trap
Comparing ourselves to others is a very seductive trap. If we need a temporary psychological boost we often compare our lives to someone we already feel superior to. Once we open the door for this kind of judgement we begin to also measure our lives against those who appear better than us. Assuming anyone else’s lawn is a more perfect shade of green is a very slippery slope that leads only to misery and low self-esteem.
The truth is we have no idea the struggles that other people are going through. We have no real way of measuring another person’s true happiness. People often purposely project false impressions of themselves...humans are extremely complicated. The only person in this entire world we can possibly know with one hundred percent accuracy is ourselves. Each of us have unique gifts just waiting to be uncovered.
“Stop thinking you’re doing it all wrong. Your path doesn’t look like anybody else’s because it can’t, it shouldn’t, and it won’t.” ― Eleanor Brownn
Do You
There is a way to use comparison to your evolutionary advantage. There’s only one person you should be comparing yourself to on a daily basis. Make a habit of honestly comparing yourself to the person you were yesterday. Do you feel good about the face you see in the mirror this morning? If not, it’s okay, just make a daily effort to like that reflection a little bit more tomorrow.
Looking back across my forty-seven years on the planet I see that the things that sparked the biggest evolutionary changes in my own life weren’t Earth shattering epiphanies, they always involved a series of small (and usually boring) methodical steps. Strive each day to be a better person than you were yesterday in some way and this will bring about substantive change.
“Comparison with myself brings improvement, comparison with others brings discontent.” ― Betty Jamie Chung
Reclaim Your Power
People in the marketing biz figured out a way to exploit people who compare themselves to others a long time ago. They follow a simple but effective formula, it goes like this...make people feel inherently flawed or incomplete then they will strive to fill that void with the junk that corporations shill (material things.)
This sales tactic has created far reaching consequences for both our species and the planet we all share. The key to making this work is low self-esteem without it our unsustainable capitalistic cycle of buying things in an effort to make ourselves happy could no longer exist.
Homework
I always like to close these meditation posts with actionable steps so here are a few very simple ways to reclaim our power. A great first step is to stop watching network television. It’s almost unbelievable how this one simple change can shift your perspective. In fact, the more ways you can distance yourself from pop culture the better.
Secondly, each and every day find one thing you absolutely love your life. This one joy-inducing thing could be a personality trait, a physical feature of your body, or even a possession you own.
Whatever this thing is make a declaration to the universe, I’m perfectly satisfied and happy with [insert whatever that one thing is here].
It can seem counter intuitive but to express gratitude for what you already have can open channels of greater abundance. If you do this simple exercise each day it begins reframe how you see yourself and your life. You will begin to realize how extremely lucky, talented, and unique you really are.
It’s important to remember that there isn’t a person on Earth who is born incomplete, there are merely people who haven’t reached their potential. Make it your ultimate mission in life to discover your own unique greatness and you'll naturally become a beacon that will motivate others to do the same.
Past Meditation Posts: Episode 1. - Episode 2.
As always, I am thankful for your tremendous support.
Yours in the Chain,
Eric
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VENEZUELA TROUGHT a deep crisis, as everybody knows. I have made the exercise of apply yours reflexions on our situation and I found them very useful: If you fall in the comparison trap you can compare yourself with people with some kind of economical sucess which origin is the corruption. It's better to compare me with myself resisting and growing every single day altrough the difficults conditions. If you live in a country with acceptable economical situation and you are only interested in material things, sure you'll never be happy and joynessful... Then imagine if you have to live in a poor society... It's very important to learn that you really need just a few things to be happy... "I’m perfectly satisfied and happy with" the possibility to walk free and light... As you said, I preffer to think this hard social conditions means an opportunity to reach my potential--- By example: maybe in better economical conditions I would had never interested in Steemit hehehe... Great Bette Davis
Time to reclaim some powers back thanks for sharing this interesting part :)
such good advice Eric! I hadn't thought of using comparison to my advantage by comparing myself to myself - this offers a whole new perspective. Loving these posts....
plus, awesome first gif ;-)
Hi, Ruth! There's something about this city that causes the words to flow and I'm so glad you're enjoying them! I really dug that .gif too, seemed fitting. : )
Bang on! Don't watch Network Television!
That's one of the easiest and most profound steps to being happier. My wife and I can't believe the negativity of the network news now that we've been away from TV for a few years. It's easy to see why so many people are depressed when each of their days are bookended with violence, doom, and gloom.
When digital hit Canada, I vowed I would cut my ties to commercial TV and focus on PBS and in Toronto TVO. It has definitely changed us in ways we never imagined. We talk more for open thing. I admit I’ll pick up a newspaper in the cafe next door now and then but just as amazed how I only glance at the front page news as I find my way to the editorial page. But because my life is film, I’m still hooked on Netflix and HBO!
Wow, this is super helpful!! Thanks for this wonderful post brother. Comparison is odious, but as you say, it’s an easy trap to fall into. I’m going to make it my mission to pay attention to this all day, then compare tomorrow me and see if I can do even better then!
Glad you enjoyed it Doug! I try to do this every day, not always successfully. ; )
This is amazing sir @ericvancewalton. I really love this. Appreciating what we have breaks us free from the comparison trap. I joined a 62-day challenge to appreciate everyone and things about me. It helps a huge lot because it makes me know I am doing better than yesterday.
The truth is, most people we compare ourselves too have their struggles too. We should always seek encouragement from the inside. I love this:
We should look inward and be our own motivator. Every one has a clear defined path. Our paths are different, so is our struggles. Low self esteem comes as a result of comparison with others and it messes up with our heads, which now restricts us from reaching our full potentials.
Thank you so much for this sir. A timely eye opener. I always enjoy your posts. So much to learn every time.
Thank you @olawalium! You're right, gratitude is so very important in life. There's nothing quite like the feeling of happiness that comes over you when you acknowledge that you're truly satisfied with a certain part of your life.
So many of the "self help gurus" of today keep us locked in a perpetual cycle of believing
we're incomplete, that we need to do more and be more but this isn't always the case...it certainly does keep people coming back to their seminars and buying their books and courses.
The universe works in subtle and sometimes mysterious ways, at times declaring, "I have everything I need" opens up the door to untold gifts. I'm glad you got something out of this post my friend.
You have so much depth. You are absolutely right with this sir. Really spot on. They make us feel incomplete to satisfy their own cravings.
I always enjoy reading from you. I don't come back the same hahaha. Thanks a lot sir
Thank you so much, man. I really appreciate your kind words.
Such a great honour sir. Thank you so much for all you do sir.
You got that right. We all need to believe in ourselves.
For sure! Being grateful for the blessings is such a great gateway to spark more in our lives too.
Very true regarding comparing yourself with the person you were yesterday. When done correctly with the right mindset, this can be a major factor in accelerating positive growth within yourself.
Comparing yourself to others is almost always a surefire way to feel like shit.
great posts and great quotes ... probably one of the hardest things to do in our society is to trust ourselves, because we have so so many messages of how things "have to be" /// it's a shame that capitalism is so good at manipulating human psyche, but so poor at elevating it
P E A C E
@ericvancewalton, That would be very interesting and also better meaningful content indeed article. This is very useful for take lot of imagine for our life succeed. Life is hard work to keep going. Every time up and down movement there. If we up (positive side) we all happiness and if down (negative side) we all don't like and will be sadness. But if we can to control our mind (thoughts), life can bring better place. It mean life will be happiness place. But we can bears every difficult task when our life come. There are lot of meaning. What is it??? We have better progress for find better life.
In fact you introduced nice step of Reclaim Your Power. Seriously it's temporary psychological boost. But after doing some time in daily wise created attitude and after three weeks automatically happened. For starting only need to push up( add some new attitude). You given better example. Control watch television. Tv wasted our golden time. Lot of peoples watch tv every states. Most of Television channels given worst news to peoples. Those once totally negative and insert bad things to human brain. That time if we can meditation it's perfect decision when you take. So we all need to increase our mind power. Our mind have massive strength. We follow some positive process it will be good news for encourage our neighbors. Thanks for the inspiration.
Agreed with your article , beautifuly written. I think comparison ourself with others is a bad thing . Every human being have different qualities , so how we can comparison .
Thank you!
Sure. But then somehow, we might not really wanna do "much more" if our standard of comparison is "just ourself".
When started (I'm a fashion designer), I rarely made a complete trouser in a day. And if I choose to improve, just a little improvement filed with procrastination (let's be honest). But when I visited a few other tailors, I felt the conscious need to do more so as to remain in the game.
An unhealthy form of comparison is very wrong.
But a form of comparison that inspires you to do more is a good one.
Thanks for sharing my friend.
Waooo.
I think this is like a good way to start my day (cuz its morning here).
Everybody has his/her own life race to run.
Just like the 100M race or long distance race, the moment you start looking at any other runner and focus on them, you lose track of your own lane and you could get disqualified.
Just like what the athletes do, focus on your lane, work on finishing well and strong and pay little attention to distractions.
This is a very lovely piece my friend
I quite agree with you. But then, I think there are healthy forms of comparison that could serve as a motivation or a push.
Let me make it clear, for instance you are in an academic field and you aren't doing well, it isn't bad bad to tell yourself "Look at John, he comes first position, what about me". That could make you wanna be like John or do better than John.
But that's on a good side though. What we have this days are too much of unhealthy comparison.
I quite agree with your thoughts on this my friend
I totally share your words, comparisons with other people do not make sense. As my mother said, we are neither better nor worse, we are just different.
the comparison with ourselves is ideal, looking back to see things that we have improved and those that get worse to focus again on the future, keep things good and improve the things we have done wrong and measure how far we are from our goals .
Many thanks for sharing these tips that invite great reflection
I wish you a prosperous life dear friend @ericvancewalton
I can confirm that the moment I stopped watching television was the moment that my life turned about on its heels and started going towards a healthier journey of self discovery and actualisation.
Thanks for the valuable life lessons here, especially the five star lesson to never compare our lives with others. I will do the homework, I mean distancing myself from the mainstream media.
PS: post resteemed.
Lol, i'm loving this gif.
Stop comparison , Each of us have unique gifts just waiting to be uncovered. Very motivational article .
Almost cried with this. Seems like a punishment. But its all good.
How about mobile phones? Dont they serve the same purpose?
Most times, comparison has often led me into mild depression and doing the wrong things.
A couple of times, I see my friends acquiring stuffs and I feel good/bad about it.
But when you get to investigate the source of the wealth, you would discover its really not "all that good"
Thank God for conscience, each time I wanna try them, I feel a force pulling me back.
Or rather let's put it, "strive to be better, and no matter what life throws at you, have a certain level of contentment"
We always have to be ourselves and each person on this planet has his own way of interpretation and executing the work...We dont need to make other superior our us,he deals with his problems in his own way and we in our own way....
Stay calm and enjoy the days of living ....
This is quite a deep one.
And I think the message in this write up needs to be heard. Especially among young ones.
If you check, lots and lots of the bad vices amongst youth is usually from peer pressure. And then, I always ask myself, how would you allow the pressure get into you?
And the answer is simply obvious. From nursing ill-thoughts, thoughts filled with comparison, you have successfully broken your self defense and self worth. And honestly, that's one of the terrible effects of comparison.
Honestly, that's so true about is humans.
Nothing is more painful than comparing ourselves with others.
This is the perfect advice. It could really work
We are sure not leaving another person's life. Its maturity that allows one to keep going no matter what happens around.
You're enough for yourself. No one should control our being.
a very good post @ericvancewalton, your words can be a great motivation for all of us in living this life. In this life, sometimes it happens not like we want, there are times when we are happy, and there are times when we are hard, it is life. This life we set, we must find a way what we should do, and where we must go to be able to get a happiness. So, happiness is not for those who have a lot of money, but for all of us, the important thing is we know how to create a happiness, even with simple things.
Speaking of success, it is very difficult, everyone in this world wants to succeed, but not everyone has a chance to succeed. The point to success is that it takes a huge struggle, effort, hard work, and keeps going despite failing, it's important that we stay focused on our goals. That way, I'm sure, will definitely get great results. As the saying goes "failure is a delayed success". Thanks for sharing @ericvancewalton...
Sure we need to stop comparing ourself to other people , everyone and his way, we need to be satisfy of what God whan to us.
Great advices thank you.
(1) Every human being is born with some unique quality and strength in this earth. As human grows if he/she recognizes that quality and work on that then that will bring success to him/her and if he keeps on comparing with other quality and strength, then it will end up in a depression and failure.
(2) As pointed by you, if at all it needs comparison then the best way out is to compare with self or compare with yesterday to make our today and tomorrow better.
(3) This article should be read by everyone in this platform and I am sure, one may get a an unanswered solution of his.her life. Thank you.
The concern you have is not really about comparing yourself to others, although you think it is. Fundamentally, you are insecure. You don't believe in yourself. Perhaps others have told you that you were worthless or that you didn't measure up in some way. parents, siblings, teachers, authority figures, so-called friends,etc. When they did this, you must understand that they were psychologically projecting their own foibles onto you. Everything they say about you is how they feel about themselves. They are making you their mirror. Realizing this will help you to view yourself more objectively.
Thanks for giving the chance to enjoy this beautiful story!
!
Very good post dear sir, ya comparison is a bad thing becoz everyone have some qualities .
This is my first day on steemit, thanks
Great article @ericvancewalton and All About Eve is one of my favourite movies!!!
This is very motive
Being yourself and not comparing yourself with those in high status is the best things in life cos the moment you do, you feel bad
Wow, thank you, thank you, thank.
Make it your ultimate mission in life to discover your own unique greatness and you'll naturally become a beacon that will motivate others to do the same.
I'm trying to do a motivational post i tagged "BeInspiredMonday" to help me find my purpose and others too.
Its not going so well yet but i'm moved to put in more effort.
Thank you!
It is said that life is like an exam and many fail because they copy others not understanding that our questions are different.
Tnx for sharing great post
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