Is cowardice an act of ineffectual weakness or a cunning strategical counter to immediate danger? It's a tough one to place in a defined, specific category. For one, I suppose the assessment of the situation at hand plays a big part in the decision-making process. And secondly, the state of your analytical mindset at the time. But one thing is for sure. Though humiliated, they usually live on to fight another day. Too dramatic? Well, it's intriguing how true that statement feels for a youngling on the receiving end of some good old-fashioned threatening harassment.
The first thing I noticed was Julie looking up from perusing some papers on the front desk. A smile immediately met her lips upon seeing my return. This was gonna be an out-all test of endurance and mental fortitude. They perceived me as such an innocent, which to some extent I was. This young lad down the road who never hung around with the wrong crowd, did his homework on time, loved his action and comedy movies and generally was well liked around the neighbourhood. Oh yes, all that was about to change in a matter of minutes by one act of apparent lewd and perverse desperation, with every ounce of guilt placed squarely on my shoulders.
I nodded an acknowledgement in her direction before moving off to the isle on the left. Peering up to the top shelf, I saw the sleazy cover. Don't get me wrong, under normal circumstances I'd have interpreted it as visually pleased for the eyes. But not now, not today. It was a seething hatred for it's very existence and I despised that poor, oblivious busty blonde bombshell staring down at me. Almost mocking, it seemed. Well, better get this over with as quickly as possible, I thought. Reaching up, I scooped it off it's shelf space. I recalled glancing round to see it caught saw me. God knows why as she'd by privy to Shane's dastardly master plan soon enough. Taking a deep sigh, I dragged myself over to the counter. A walk of unadulterated shame. Poor Cersei Lannister, I know the feeling only too well. Heaving the weight of all my life's honour and respect onto the desk, I couldn't think of anything else to say.
"I'll have one of these, please, Julie." My complexion, I'm sure, couldn't have been any redder. Her face fell as soon as she looked at the front cover image. The stunned expression remained a second longer before she rolled her eyes up at me. "You want... This?" She asked, reduced to almost a strained whisper. "Yes, please." I whimpered, fighting off the urge to scream at the top of my lungs that it wasn't meant for my evening's pleasurable entertainment. But nothing I could have said or done would undo the mounting heaps of damage being caused by the second. I was a fake and a dirty little pervert. Reputation at ground zero... And falling fast.
Surprisingly, after a few moments of pondering, she actually ended up giving me the rental VHS tape. Part of me hadn't even acknowledged the fact that I was under the legal age to possess or view such filth, but hey, at least she still trusted me, right? Lucky for me, I resisted to envision her possible "thought cloud" in response to my inappropriate actions. I probably would have fainted on the spot, there and then. I grabbed the item of disrepute off the desk and, without a word, scurried to the doorway and out into the street. Just in time to be greeted by the slavering beast that was Shane MuDuffy. I remember him not even looking at me, but instead snatching the rental from out of my hands and striding off back from the direction he was coming from. Could he have prophesied this most horrific of meetings? Who knows, but I was a downtrodden, anxious wreck. Home was the only sanctuary I could think of to escape from the woes of this harsh outside world.
Later that evening, a worrying thought dawned on me. It's amazing the clarity of thought after panic subsides. What if Shane never returned the video tape! I'd have to pay financial compensation for its untimely disappearance. Another horror show waiting to be played out in my near future! But, to my relief, he ended up returning it the next day via the "drop-box" collection service they ran. It would have been the easiest thing for him to baptise it as his own, but he chose not to. And you know what? A small part of my conscience actually thanked him for that...
So, what of the ever friendly Filipino clan that had been my "adoptive" family outside of my actually familial circle? Well, as you can imagine, things were never quite the same again. That smile of genuine affability Julie afforded me, was gone forever. It transformed thereafter into more of a grin. Possibly even a grimace. Like as if to say, I'm fully aware of the sordid activities you partake in whilst hidden away behind closed doors and curtains. I had become... God help me, a "regular customer"! Oh well, the memories beforehand were great and still are to this very day. So, Julie, if you ever get to read this (though highly unlikely), the truth has now been revealed and that sweet kid from down the road who'd frequent your awesome video store, was not as corrupt as you'd initially imagined...
I only managed to read this now...
I didn't expect him to return it either, I was actually thinking that before you even mentioned it. As always there's more to your stories than it meets the eye. This one is a funny episode with a bit of a bitter ending, there's no burning, shooting, murdering or buildings falling down, but I feel it's really about how we like to be perceived by people we don't really know and how much we feel we have to maintain the integrity of our image in front of the people who, we feel, have a good opinion about us. I think it's testament to some sensitivity that you ultimately felt sorry of (presumably?) disappointing someone you never really knew :)
I absolutely love the last statement you made. About disappointing someone you never knew. I guess I really cared about their perception of me, (especially Julie). The thought of them thinking negative about me after all the history we had built up over time. Man, that was painful.
Very insightful, my friend. :)
Oh, wow. I certainly didn't expect him to return the tape!
I once rented 'The Animal' starring Rob Schneider (come to think of it, that might have been my own rental walk of shame - who would pay money to see a movie like that? Hey, that was almost 20 years ago - give me a break).
My local rental place had a drop box, but instead of making the employees bend over to grab it out of the box I would place it on the counter for them.
Well later on I get notified that I never returned it and now owed over $100! They tried to get money from me for years. Each time more fees and interest being tacked on. Last time they called me it was over $400!
Haven't heard about that for years and years now, maybe it's all over. Or is it?
Oh mate, imagine that fine is still mounting up to this day! Lol, but seriously, even I can't believe he didn't run off with it. I mean, there was literally nothing stopping him!
Could almost feel my skin raise so true in many ways and it was just... Great! Loved your story, so very well written, and heartfelt. Even more amazing you can evoke such emotion in written word and the affect it had on you writing it, as well as the readers in comments below. Very well done. And it surely will generate a lot of discussion. Keep up the great works.
Oh, thanks! I could never have known this episode in my life would be retold on a social media platform in the distant future, lol. Oh well, I'm glad you approved, buddy. Much appreciated. :)
lol. I still clearly remember this girl I had crash on. She worked at this shop selling ice cream. Her eyes were soo making me crazy about her, when I was there ordering my ice cream, I could feel my legs shaking. The third time, if I remember well, I went there to order my vanilla ice cream and I decided to do something, to say something finaly. When it came to it my legs started shaking angain. All I was able to say when she handed me my ice cream was “that’s for you” the ice cream and I left. I was soo disappointed in me.
Oh mate, what can you do, right? You never know what the right thing to do is. And when you take the bull by the horns, the pressure is too much, lol. Such is life, my friend. :)
Oh boy, Let’s just hope Julie gets to read it. I know these kind of “falling in love” when I saw this girl with beautiful eyes smiling at me, when I was a teenager.
I once rented CD for my ex friend, he forgot to return it and after few months they send me a bill. I had to pay the bill and the CD as well. Since then I don’t do any favors to my friends. Not like these.
Oh man, that sucks! Something similar happened to me also but concerning an unpaid phone bill. Events like these tarnish your trustworthiness for future relationships.
This part had me laughing hard!
Damn, thank god i was born in the age of internet, we didn't need any vhs, we had cell phones, websites, whatever we wanted just 1 click away!
And Julie shouldn't judge you, it's normal for a young boy to go and see those sort of stuff... at least in my opinion!!
Lol, I think it's more my "brazen disregard" for the situation I was in that made Julie as shocked as she was. After all, you are right by saying it should be a natural characteristic pertaining to any teenager out there. Felt real humiliating at the time, though... :)
This makes me want to write an article about, what born-before-the-age-of-internet's like me had to do, to get some crappy vhs with human discovery-channel content, before we even had a clue, how to talk to a woman and not go hey, um..., l.. you... Want hlgmpfcoffee, I mean, um, with you know, hum, maybe me...maybe? . :)
Man, i just hope so much she actually gets to read this...
Oh man, that would be one of the greatest achievements of my life! Julie! If you're out there!!!
I grew up in a small town. Everyone knew everyone. The owner of the movie rental store was a "chatty Cathy" who would recount the previous days rentals at the coffee shop to anyone who wanted to listen.
The pharmacist lived 4 houses down my street as well. No privacy there either.
Another great read. Thanks.
Lucky this episode didn't occur in "that" particular town or else life may have ended up a whole lot more "difficult", lol.
Thanks for the comments, bud. :)
An incredible story, especially the small details that make all the difference. I could actually see the characters. Bravo!!!!
Much appreciated, @sarahmcdowell! A pretty memorable recount of that hideous day so I guess that made it that much easier to expand upon, lol. Many thanks. :)
I always like your stories very much, my dear friend.
especially the movie reviews were very good. I enjoy reading them and commenting. You do not share the film for a long time: /
Hey @artizm! Thanks very much for stopping by. I'll be back to reviewing movies too soon enough... :)
aw .. I look forward to it.
you have never responded to comments I made on film criticism :)
but I think you are a reader. That's enough
Eesh. That's a rough one.
One of those moments where you spend the rest of your life thinking back on it and grimacing, 'cause though you didn't know it at the time, you probably would've been happier in the long run taking the lumps.
Another great anecdote. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, buddy. Yeah, it makes me cringe thinking about it. Though part of me now wishing I had stood up to Shane and defied his demands. Sliding doors, eh? :)
Wow, interesting story.....love to read more of your stories
Thanks very much, @pricelessrita. :)
Wow.. what a beautiful plot. We need to have that type of story writers who put all basic ingredients in their story..Like above.I am highly inspired.Thanks for sharing with us.
i think cowardice may just be fight or flight response to situations induced by fear
Sure, that works too. :)
Nice informative post i follow u friends
grate...amazing.good job boss.carry on...
This is one of the moments when you try your best to act 'normal' but fate just finds its way to make everything seem awkward. 😅
Oh yes, "awkward" pretty much sums up what happened to me that day. :)
unrivaled writing sir. very interesting story.
Really so nice post. i like this post..
Nice one, man... :)