The disaster movie genre was all the rage at one point in time. For some reason, the sight of cities being reduced to ashes as well as the countless hordes of people left for dead in it's wake, still proves a formulaic victory in terms of getting those "bums on seats", as it were. But most of these movies have little to no characterization nor grounded plot to speak of. Some may argue that's an obligatory by-product of these projects as the majority of it's targeted audience members are simply baying for apocalyptic ruin as the main focus of enjoyment. However, does this newest entry for the genre breathe life into an otherwise stale, tired secession of box office flops?
It is the year 2019 and escalating global climate changes have led to extreme weather conditions wreaking havoc on our planet. This leads to an agreed international coalition to develop an array of networked satellites in space which house the superior technology to counteract these destructive natural elements. The implementation of said satellites is collectively called "Dutch Boy" and after successfully neutralizing a dangerous typhoon, it appears the Earth finally has a deterrent in place. Fast forward three years later and two rogue events occur (one involving an extreme ice patch in Afghanistan) prompting intervention by the President Andrew Palma (played by Andy Garcia) who signs off an investigation. After a series of further unexplained weather catastrophes, satellite architect and designer Jake Lawson (played by Gerard Butler) is sent back into space to find out what is going on, anticipating possible espionage on-board one of the satellites. In the meanwhile, his brother Max Lawson (played by Jim Sturgess) attempts to uncover any other associated unauthorized infiltration of their systems back on Earth. Could someone be responsible for using "Dutch Boy" as a biospheric weapon against the very planet they are trying to protect?
From the get go, I wasn't expecting much. And in the end, I got even less. This movie is abysmal. One of the main problems being it's over emphasis on absurd plot twists and turns. Geostorm tries to be way too clever for its own good which can only be a bad thing for this context of entertainment. Gerard Butler does what he always does. Act suave and cocky whilst still exhibiting just enough charm and wit to remain likeable. Just barely, mind. His counterpart brother Max Sturgess turns in a decent performance in comparison to the rest of the cast but gets crushed between the cheesy lines of dialogue as well as exaggerated and forced emotional plays. One thing I'll say is that it at least attempts to do something different, in regards to running two parallel main story-lines on the satellites and on Earth, but this inventive little spin of proceedings does little to save it. The terrible one-liners (with Andy Garcia having the dubious privilege of delivering the worst of a bad bunch) and convoluted plot mess switching back and forth between the two brothers, jars on the mind and actually makes you root for the "weather" to win.
A stand-out highlight must go to the special effects throughout. Or lack of, should I say. We are treated to various sporadic cut scenes from different cities around the globe where the weather has decided to go bat**** crazy. But I find it hard to believe the final end product was not sent straight to DVD in light of how bad it all looks. A last generation PlayStation console is capable of better as what should have been the star attraction of the movie, ends up being its ultimate demise. How these half-finished abominations made it out of the hands of the effects team in charge, we will never know. Add to that the completely over-the-top action sequences. It's the same syndrome that the movie 2012 suffered from. In that, nothing can kill these guys! You see cars hurtle under collapsing bridges, all the while barely manoeuvring upon crumbling roads, and with "weather" that literally looks like it's out to target just them! Nonsensical rubbish that belongs at the very bottom of a DVD bargain basement mound. Save your time and trouble and avoid at all costs as it doesn't even classify as being "so bad it's good". It's just, well... Really, really... Bad.
The disaster movie genre is one that only applies to a certain demographic. That said, movie-goers that (either voluntarily or not) switch their brains off and just watch the pretty visuals in front of them. But the thing is, with Geostorm, you don't even get that tiny respite. But what you "do" get in spades is bad acting, some of the worst dialogue I've heard in a long time and irritating on-screen characters. I just hope that this long line of movie failures either gets some serious time out to re-evaluate or risk something even more sinister... Planetary-wide mass extinction!
My Verdict: (3/10)
Haha, I seriously just watched this movie on Saturday night. It's no masterpiece, but 3/10 is pretty harsh buddy :D lol
I'd give it 6/10.
Lol, I dunno, buddy. I found it to be pretty bad. I swear I almost put down 2.5 rating but had a change of heart at the "final hour"! :)
hah, you softy you :D
people right now are in slight panic
I scrolled down to see your score.
And I am happy to see you gave it a shit one.
I hated it so much...
I described the movie to my friend as, "Just some people talking in between CGI cut scenes."
Oh, my bro. It was horrendous. Twice I nearly succumbed to switching the damn desecration off. But laziness got the better of me! :)
I just knew when I saw the trailer of it that it's going to be, well... a disaster. I've always hated how these kinds of stories always have protagonists in the thick of things or they're crucial to "solving" the problem. Disasters should be unsolvable, otherwise they're just a passing thing. Maybe that's why I prefer movies like Cloverfield where the protagonists don't know what the hell is going on.
Again, you make some great points. The "mystery" of the situation was a key ingredient for Cloverfield working as well as it did. I could not agree with your logic more. :)
Thanks for saving me some time @ezzy, seeing the screenshots and cover I would've watched this one. It looks a bit like 2012. I'll save my time and trouble
2012 is a masterpiece in comparison, buddy! :)
Wow, I haven’t seen this movie, but I saw trailer and I thought it should be an ok movie. One of the reason is the actor Gerard Butler whom I really like. I’m really surprised it has so low rating in your review.
Other that that, grey review.
Sadly, it's pretty bad, @milano1113. If you've watched the trailer, you've seen the "best" bits of the movie. Check it out if you must and don't expect much. Thanks for the nice comments. :)
Exactly. That was time I could've spent in a better way..
Great that you are writing your opinion about movies that you don´t like so much too @ezzy! This shows that you are really thinking about your reviews and you want to give your own view, not the opinion of the masses or what others already wrote. 👌
Wasn’t expecting it to be any good ,at least I enjoyed your film review. Thanks for sharing.
Many thanks, bro. And yes, your judgement would be spot on! :)
really wann read the i am a big lover
This was one of the worst movies I have ever seen.
wow..nice movie tnx for sharing...
Wow im so excited to watch this movie. I really find it very intersting for me to watch disaster genre movies. But i agreed with you that the trailer has already given us enough information to know how the movie went. But it still an ok movie for me gerard butler is one of my favorite actor you know.. :')
Gerard Butler has done some good work in the past. However, not too sure about this one, lol... :)
Excellent your story ..Really I impressed read your writing .
Nice post. It's a good thought sir. Keep it up.
3/10 !! Why would I watch a movie rated that bad by someone!! 😛 Thanks for informing that one shouldn’t watch it .
No probs! The evidence against this travesty should all be contained in my review above... :)
Haha I almost can't believe you checked this one out!
Lol, neither can I! :)
Well, it just so happens that a friend rented this movie tonight, so I know what I will be watching.
Lol, good luck, my friend! :)
Outstanding writing my friend. Great movie btw!
Hey, sorry for being an ass last time around.
It won't surprise me at all if we see special effects in anything but the highest budget movies get worse and worse, even good sfx and cgi companies have closed their doors or had huge cuts to their teams because of hollywood continuously shitting on them and underpaying them in general.
very educative and well written please keep up the good works
Well a whole lot of amazing actors such as Gerald Butler on this one, the fact that it's a film which really dealt with ruins and futuristic invasion, I think the cinematography is amazing, it will have an 8/10 for me
people right
now are in slight panic.............
I knew it was going to be bad, that's a things you sometimes can see from the trailers themselves.
You deserve an award for sitting through bad movies just for us to get a review, keep it up man.
Lol. Thanks for saying, man. :)
I saw this movie yesterday and I’m totally agree with you!
I thought I was the only one who considered it awful. This is just one of a bad bunch that seem to focus on moviemakers newfound abilities in special effects on a grand scale. I almost fell asleep in the first 15 minutes but hung on watching a DVD in the hope that it was going to get better. Much to the dismay of others when I kept pre-empting the "plot".
Good call on this one.
Lol, thanks. I know the feeling of watching this "sinking ship" of a movie. :)
I see this movie as a predication of what technology could become, however this is way to superficial to achieve. Mother nature will always remain unpredictable.
wooooo!!!! This movie is a total waste! jaajajajaaj. No story, no good dialogue, no good acting. I work for the independent cinema and I can say that it's sad to see a budget used in a wrong way like this.
Haven't seen this movie yet only saw the trailer and I've been anticipating to really know what it entails, first off the name Geostorm makes me wanna see it the more... Thanks for your write up, i feel like I've seen the whole of it!!!
Hi there @ezzy, just finished downloading the movie and I'm about to watch this later. But after seeing your ratings haha I'm now having second thoughts. But hey, I love Gerard Butler, been a fan since his movie 300 😁