Alright, here's my very first story.
I would appreciate any feedback and comments you can give me.
I hope you enjoy it!
Summary:
It's Dr. Samantha Hart's first day as an attending neurosurgeon at North Star Memorial Hospital. We meet some of her fellow surgeons, and Sam gets her first case.
I’ve wanted to be a surgeon all my life. At the beginning, it was because both of my parents were surgeons, and I wanted to be just like them. At six years old, I barely knew what a surgeon was, let alone what all was entailed. And now, after eight years of school, a seven year long residency, and a year long fellowship, I still don’t know what I got myself into.
“Shane, we’ve got to get going. We don’t want to be late on our first day.” Samantha Hart had been waiting by the door for ten minutes now, and was getting impatient. It was their first day as attending surgeons at North Star Memorial Hospital, and Sam wanted to make a good impression. If they were late...
Finally, Shane came downstairs. “Relax. We’ve got plenty of time. We won’t be late.”
“We better not be. It’s my first day as an attending. The past eight years have been leading up to this day. You better not screw it up for me.”
“Don’t worry,” Shane assured her. “It’s going to be perfect.”
“There you are! What took you so long?” Dr. Isabelle Kingston had been Sam’s best friend since grade school. They had even gone to Harvard Medical School together, and had both completed their residencies at Johns Hopkins. Isabelle and her husband Matthew had decided to follow Sam and Shane to North Star Memorial; Isabelle as a neonatal/fetal surgeon, and Matthew as a trauma surgeon.
“Shane was taking forever to get ready,” replied Sam. Where’s Matthew?”
“He went to the ER as soon as we got here. You know him.”
Shane chuckled. “He’d live in an ER if he could.”
“Good morning Dr. Hart, Dr. Hart, and Dr. Kingston. I trust everything’s all right?” Dr. Cameron Adams, the chief of surgery, had entered the room. “I noticed the other Dr. Kingston has already made himself at home. He’s basically taken control of the Emergency Room.”
“I’m so sorry Dr. Adams,” apologized Isabelle. “At Hopkins he was used to being in charge. Our trauma chief was more concerned with doing procedures than making sure the ER was organized, so Matt was the one controlling everyone.”
“That’s quite all right Kingston. We need some organization around here anyway. Shane, you have yet to meet Dr. Brooks, the chief of cardio, right?”
“Yes sir. She was in a surgery the last time we came.”
“She’s just getting out of surgery now. I’ll page her to meet you here.”
“Thank you.”
“If you have no other questions I’ll let you get going to work.” When no one said anything, Adams gave a quick salute and was off.
Sam hung her stethoscope around her neck and slammed her locker shut. “Alright. Let’s go save some lives.”
“You paged?” The minute Sam had exited the attendings locker room, her pager had buzzed, calling her to the ER. When she got there, she was met with a teenage girl in skinny jeans and a crop top; another teenager girl in a mini skirt; and a middle aged male attending that Sam remembered was Dr. Nicholas Jensen, the chief of neurosurgery, who was taking the pulse of the girl in the crop top.
“Yes, I did. First of all, welcome to the North Star family.”
“Thank you sir.”
“Second of all, this girl came in a little while ago. She collapsed and started seizing while out shopping with her friend. I thought that this would be a great first case for you. I’ll leave you to it.” Jensen handed Sam the girl’s chart and left.
“Alright. Let’s see what we’ve got here. Melody Doyle. Age sixteen. You fainted and had a seizure…” Sam continued to look through her file. “And that’s all I’ve got. No medications or medical history I should know about?”
Melody shook her head. “Nope. Nothing. This is the first time I’ve been in a hospital. I have no idea what could have caused this.”
“It looks like you haven’t had any other seizures since that initial one?”
“Nope. I feel fine.”
Sam turned to the girl in the mini skirt. “And you are?”
“I’m Kylie. I was with her when it happened. We were just walking in the mall and all of a sudden she collapsed and started having a seizure. I called 911, got her on her side and waited for help. By the time they got there, it had passed.”
“I’m surprised you knew what to do. Most people would freak out.”
She shrugged. “I watch a lot of medical dramas.”
“Let’s get you to CT and MRI, see what we can find, and get you admitted."
“Dr. Hart? I’m Quinn Lieman. I’m on your service today.”
Without looking up from the monitor, Sam questioned her. “How much experience do you have?”
“I’m a first year neurosurgery resident.”
“Are you any good?”
“I was top of my class in med school. And the other attendings seem to like me.”
“Have you scrubbed in on any surgeries?”
“I worked with Jensen on a decompression surgery just last week.”
“And now for the most important question.” Sam spun around in her chair and stared deep into Lieman’s eyes. “Do you like neurosurgery?”
Lieman returned Sam’s stare, and said, without hesitation, “I love it. There’s nothing I enjoy more.”
Sam smiled. “Just the answer I was looking for.” She turned back to the monitor. “Dr. Lieman. What do you see on this MRI?”
Lieman walked up behind Sam and looked at the screen. “I see a tumor near the sphenoid ridge. Probably a meningioma. From what I can see, it’s operable.”
Sam smiled. “Very good Dr. Lieman. It seems you do have potential. Let’s get some more tests and admit her.”
To be Continued...
ok, i am not great at story feedback but here goes:
Overall content: Nice shows lot of medical knowledge. that is always a good thing when writing stories
suspense: maybe this was intended but there is nothing for the reader to think about here
flow: smooth. the story runs on without wavering
imagery: i confess i dont like imagery much as i want the reader to imagine and in that sense i find yours just about right
i think it is a nice beginning and wish you the best
@adarshh, Thank you so much more the feedback! This particular story will probably be in four parts, so the action and suspense will be building, but I will take your advice into consideration and try to have some suspense in each part.
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