Welcome to the Steemit Story Chain
Hello to all you Steemers and Steemians, I hope your Monday is treating you fairly. It's time for another Steemit Story Chain. Yes it's that time where I ask all you creative creatures to stretch that creative muscle and get writing. In a nutshell you need to complete writing the story that I start. There are 100 Whaleshares for the person who writes the most ambitious and original part of the chain.
I would like to say a huge thank you to all those who took part in last week's contest, we had some amazing entries and many of them! So thank you to @geekpowered, @yardley-elbert, @dreamingirwin, @jorlauski, @johnkingwriter, @intuitivejakob, @fishyculture and @sostrin.
It was another week that proved to be very interesting, and we witnessed some great writing. Steemit really is exposing how much talent there is out there in this world. After another long discussion with my co-judge @nikflossus we have now determined the winner.
@johnkingwriter
You wrote a nice take on noir here employing a solid technique. Your entry was closely followed by the contribution from @dreamingirwin who created some good visual description painting the imagery beautifully, and great open ended detail too. We also want to highlight the contribution of @jorlauski who put a lot of effort into his writing. It might have placed higher but it lost its 'punchyness' towards the end. All in all another great week where everything submitted was of a good standard. Well done everyone!
The winner, @johnkingwriter, has won 100 Whaleshares. Please reply with your Bitshares account information and I will send the Whaleshares to your account immediately. Enjoy! If you don't have an account don't worry it's very simple and completely free to set one up here - https://bitshares.openledger.info/?r=akrid-1.
A reminder of the winning entry is featured below.
The place smelled like stale beer and piss.
Great, I’d fit right in.
From a darkened corner, I heard movement, I swung the torch. It was just an old homeless guy nursing a bottle of strong wine.
“You gonna keep that all to yourself?” I asked as I removed it from his nicotine stained fingers. “I’m in need of some more Dutch courage, here.”
The stuff tasted like battery acid mixed with angel’s piss. Not a bad combo and a hell of a kick. I finished it and chucked the bottle back to the now passed out figure sprawled against the pitted plasterboard. It bounced and slithered to a stop between his urine soaked chinos.
Grabbing the torch with my teeth, I pulled my twin Smith & Wesson 45s. Anything coming my way was going to get lead poisoning real quick.
A scurrying sound drew me to the next room, fading as it disappeared down a raised trap door.
I holstered the left gun, burped loudly, drew it again and proceed in a somewhat sideways manner towards the rickety looking downward steps.
The light from the torch bobbed as I struggled to swallow spit. Perhaps I had not thought this through properly.
Halfway down the stairs, the beam steadied and something massive, all eyes and teeth and long, hairy legs moved into its wan light.
Moving on now to the new story for this week's Steemit Story Chain entitled If Only You Knew. If you want to take part you need to first upvote and resteem this post. I have written the first part of the story below and then, using the comment box, it is down to you guys to develop the story in whatever direction you want to take it in. Be as creative and original as possible. You can even change the genre from one part to the next, it is entirely up to you. A short paragraph or two is all we are after. And remember to number which part of the story you are writing.
This contest is sponsored by Whaleshares and I owe a big thank you to @akrid. There is 100 Whaleshares for the winning entry. If you would like to learn more about Whaleshares and how they can significantly increase your post rewards please visit https://steemit.com/whaleshares/@eirik/guide-on-how-to-use-whaleshares-updated-version where @eirik will gladly explain more to you.
The unquestionably talented writer @nikflossus will be helping me to determine which one of your contributions is worthy of the winning prize. We are looking for:
- A strong sense of imagination
- Creative intelligence
- Originality
- Narrative fluidity (ensuring the story chain links smoothly)
- Use of language, grammar and syntax (we need to understand what you're saying!)
The winner will be announced in a week's time. A new post will be published then announcing the winner along with a new story chain.
Let's now move on to part one of If Only You Knew.
It had been in my basement for three weeks. Lying there, mocking and cursing me every single day of those three weeks. Haunting me. No one knew. No one suspected a thing. I had the perfect cover. I'm an ordinary family man living in an uneventful quiet suburban area, where only car crashes top the news. I stood in my back garden, reassured now that the job was complete. I had buried it deeply. The neighbours were out. No one saw what I buried in the garden. And no one would ever find out. Job done. I threw the shovel down and quietly mused on the hope that normality would now return. My mobile phone rang. I answered. 'Hello Blake, I'm outside your front door. If you don't let me in I will pay a trip to the gas station where your wife works and tell her everything. Let me in and maybe we can work this out'.
part 2
In a state of mild shock I gestured for the little girl to come in. Smiling, she took two skipping steps through the doorway and said thank you. I continued to stare blankly at her. She looked about nine years old.
'Would you like me to close the door for you?' she asked pleasantly. I nodded. 'If you hurt me,' she went on, still smiling, 'or if I don't call them within 5 minutes, my father will do this to you.' She handed me a polaroid photograph and closed the door.
I looked at the photo and felt my stomach lurch - A horrible mixture of dark reds with some flesh tones, it looked like the kind of thing drug cartels did to their worst enemies. I handed it back quickly. Again she thanked me, looked at the photo, smirked and put it away. Then she looked at her watch.
'You have four minutes and twenty three seconds left,' she said, 'so you'd better get digging.'
'But I can't dig that fast. It took me hours to bury it.'
'I know.' Her smile was broadening.
'What then? You want me dead?' She shook her head and handed me another polaroid. This one was worse than the last one. The person in it wasn't quite dead yet.
'My father will be here in..... four minutes exactly. I don't like him anymore. If you do to him what's in the photograph, I'll let you keep your secret.'
Hey @yardley-elbert, thanks for submitting your part of the story chain, the winner has just been announced and a new story chain has begun - https://steemit.com/story/@freedomexists/who-will-forgive-me-now-steemit-story-chain-12-where-you-write-the-story-and-100-whaleshares-for-the-winner
Part one:
I stood there staring at my phone. Unable to respond. I simply stared, my mind exploding in thought. Who was this? Who do they think they are, just demanding I let them in. Of course something like this would happen. Stupid me.
Then I looked at the shovel, they obviously want to test my humanity. 'Well, are you going to let me in ?' I was so lost in thought, I almost forgot the cause of it all. " Whatever, hold on a minute. I be there in a sec.", I responded. "You suck!", I said to myself after I ended the call.
Placing the shovel near the back stairs, I entered the house. As I went through the hallway into my kitchen I saw my old dusty baseball bat leaning against the wall in the open closet. I grabbed it just in case. I leaned the bat against the sink, as I washed the dirt from my hands and face. As I walked into the living room, I spotted a clean t-shirt on the sofa. Quickly I changed shirts and tossed the dirty one down into the basement. Walking to the door I inhaled deeply, in hopes of regaining my peace.
I've always hated the design of my front doorway. The windows are to far from the front door to see who's at the door. "Oh well, here we go. ", I thought out loud slowly opening the door. Again my mind went blank. Standing in front of me was a dainty figure, standing barely four feet tall. Long straightened white hair, being blown around by the wind. She turned around and looked at be with pleasant smile.
Then with raspy voice she calmly said, "Well are you going to let me in? "
Hey @dreamingirwin, thanks for submitting your part of the story chain, the winner has just been announced and a new story chain has begun - https://steemit.com/story/@freedomexists/who-will-forgive-me-now-steemit-story-chain-12-where-you-write-the-story-and-100-whaleshares-for-the-winner
I enjoyed reading post very much, i am new and this content helps alot. Congrats to the winner!!
can i participate?
Hi @pshowbiz, of course you can, show us what you got.
Thanks! It was my first attempt at that genre. I'm glad it traveled well :)
Congrats - you're contribution was great - almost made me spit out my coffee! Good job - I look forward to seeing more from you.
Congratulations, @johnkingwriter!
Part 4 (I don't know what the rules are vis-a-vis starting a new Part 1 when there's already a thread going or submitting more than one entry)
She giggled and walked out the door with a strut like a pimp from a 1970's blaxploitation movie. Oddly, she turned left outside the door and headed opposite the direction of her house.
When the door shut, I felt it: an electric tingle in my hands, breathing air deviod of oxygen, and dizziness liable to land me on the floor.
I screamed at myself, "now is not the time for a panic attack!"
"If ever there was a time for a panic attack, it's now," I retorted internally. That made me laugh; the laugh calmed me enough that I could initiate my panic attack coping mechanisms. I regained my ballast and my wits.
Looking at the clock, the panic spell burned two minutes, leaving me one at most. I decided the grim task would be easier done if I could take him by surprise and ran out my back door. Climbing over fences and running from neighbors' dogs, I circled around the neighborhood and crouched in a rose bush from which I could see through the wide living room window of the house she lived in with her father.
I needed to amp myself up. If I was to do this, I needed to see the monster who did what I saw in that horrid photo. I settled in, managing to find a position that prevented any thorns from pushing into my skin. Their exterior light was on, but I was well concealed from anyone not looking for someone.
Hours I waited. Finally I saw her father walking towards the front door on the sliver of sidewalk visible from my vantage point. He disappeared from view temporarily before entering the house, at which point I could see him through the window.
He didn't look like a monster. He looked like a broken man. He collapsed on the couch, and I could see his shoulder peaking over the back of the couch with each heaving breath. Suddenly he bolted upright and froze. Transfixed with his apparent sobbing, I didn't see her enter. She strode over to him slowly, smiling, head tilted condescendingly like a dog owner watching her pup chase its tail.
She stopped in front of him, at eye level as he was still seated. The smile drained from her face. She held up the polaroid and started screaming at him. Startled by her sudden change I lurched back. A dozen thorns pierced my skin. I yelped. She looked outside. Our eyes met.
Hey @zeus, thanks for submitting your part of the story chain, the winner has just been announced and a new story chain has begun - https://steemit.com/story/@freedomexists/who-will-forgive-me-now-steemit-story-chain-12-where-you-write-the-story-and-100-whaleshares-for-the-winner
Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by freedomexists from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews/crimsonclad, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows and creating a social network. Please find us in the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
Resteemed by @resteembot! Good Luck!
Your post was resteemed thanks to @dreamingirwin
Curious?
The @resteembot's introduction post
The @reblogger's introduction post
Get more from @resteembot with the #resteembotsentme initiative
Check out the great posts I already resteemed.
3 "You want me to kill your father?!?!" I exclaimed perhaps a bit to loudly. The little girl smirked "That is what you do, right?". It should be noted that I am not a murderer, the body in the back yard was an accidental death. I am still puzzled as to why the little girl is even privy to what has happened. It was night time when I lost my temper, he never should have threatened me, he was an awful human anyways. I had kept the body fully intact in a freezer for three weeks in the basement. I am truly not a psychopath. No one saw me bury it and I put it under at least 15 feet of fresh dirt, it hadn't even smelled during the several hours it took to bury it. I probed the young girl for more information, trying to decide if her father deserved death. I am aware that I sound crazy, and I am sure I don't care. The little girl was hesitant to elaborate and it was nearly time for her father to arrive. I decided I would just kill him, it would surely buy me time, and there was already one body. I told her to leave but first give me her address. The little girl seemed delighted, it is going to be another long night.
Hey @krazykrista thanks for submitting your part of the story chain, the winner has just been announced and a new story chain has begun - https://steemit.com/story/@freedomexists/who-will-forgive-me-now-steemit-story-chain-12-where-you-write-the-story-and-100-whaleshares-for-the-winner
"If Only You Knew" Part1
"You don't know anything about anything," I shot back, but my sense of secrecy fell away. Now I was naked. A telling delay passed before I meekly added, "because there's nothing to know".
"I know your shame. Come on Greg," he implored "I've known you for fourteen years, did you think I didn't notice? Your awkwardness when I asked to use your computer. The way you fidgeted when the autocomplete suggested 'retro TV database' or 'classic TV streaming'. And your reddit account, jesus christ man, your reddit account."
I got up, let him in, sat down, and cried.
"The first time, it happened accidentally," I eked out between sobs. "I ate some bad clam chowder. How did it ever come to this? Burying underwear in the garden because I can't admit to my wife that..."
"Let it out," Greg said, sensing my nerve weakening, "it will be a load off to say the truth."
"Fine." I took a slow, deep breath to calm myself.
"I'm obsessed with pooping my pants while watching the Jeffersons."
How the hell did she know? I'd been so careful to leave no trace whatsoever. It had been the middle of a moonless night when I'd finished. I hadn't made a sound. If Mary found out now what I'd done, I could forget us moving to Florida, the condo. Everything would be ruined. I'd be going straight to jail and would probably never see her again.
With the call still connected and the phone in my hand. I opened the front door. There she was, standing there, bobble hat and joggers, looking very agitated. I ended the call, put the phone in my pocket, took the aluminium baseball bat from behind the door and flicked it out quickly. Wham, straight on top of her head. She crumpled like a piece of paper. "Yeah we can work it out Loretta."
Hey @outerground thanks for submitting your part of the story chain, the winner has just been announced and a new story chain has begun - https://steemit.com/story/@freedomexists/who-will-forgive-me-now-steemit-story-chain-12-where-you-write-the-story-and-100-whaleshares-for-the-winner
thanks @freedomexists for the heads up. The winning entry had a baseball bat in theirs too ! great minds think darkly alike. I will try and make an entry for the next installment
For a brief moment I could only feel the rapid heart beat in my own chest. Who the hell did this guy think he is? And then, the panic became master of my whole being. I muttered a few words that made no sense at all before I trew my phone against the wall of the houseand watched if fall apart at the ground. This was not happening! I felt the need to scream yet there was no sound coming from my now dry lips. The job was done and I made sure no one knew or saw me. The hard knock on the door made me realize that I was not alone. "BLAKE, open the fucking door!" The low sound of his voice pushed the silence away and I lost total control. Without thinking I went back inside and opened the door. I looked deeply into his eyes while my fingers wrapped around the baseball bat in the corner. I had covered everything up and I was not going to let this asshole destroy my life! "Hello Blake!" The look on his face made me think about the many different ways I could smash his brains in but I held back. When life decides to throw you lemons it sure as hell are a million lemons at the same time. "You did not expect me I see?" His question only fueled my anger. He was right, I did not see this coming at all. So many questions were fighting in my mind and I could not form one normal sentence. "Jake!" I muttered before I raised my bat. "The fuck are you doing here brother?"
Hey @poeticsnake thanks for submitting your part of the story chain, the winner has just been announced and a new story chain has begun - https://steemit.com/story/@freedomexists/who-will-forgive-me-now-steemit-story-chain-12-where-you-write-the-story-and-100-whaleshares-for-the-winner