Let's start off with the inevitable messy, dirty talk that leaves me vulnerable and on the table.
Do you believe 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' or 'out of sight out of mind'?
Question of the year, am I right?
My mother used to always tell me that being a part strengthened relationships. So, when I went to university, she used to tell me that by not having me around, it made her miss me more.
This concept was strange AF to me. In my heart, if I love you and you're not around, it's shriveling up, beating like a drum trying to get back to you!
... But, after a while, that heart can only beat so hard for so long before it gets tired. So, where does that leave the question then?
I have been MIA for a while now. I posted a little bit here and there while I was off braving the big, crazy world out there but I gotta tell ya, it was eating me up WHOLE, devouring me like a pie at Christmas!
Now that I'm back to our friendly waves (that are no longer waves anymore and have turned into weird little message bubbles), I barely feel like I can swim anymore... searching for some floaties in this deep ocean that Steemit is.
I love my Steemit family (you know who you are) but I realize I have been gone for so long now that you might be singing Charlie Puth in your head right now reading my post (we don't talk anymore... we don't talk anymore... like we used to do...)
I haven't been here to finish telling you my stories that I got you addicted to, or to share vegan desserts for the holidays. I don't know if my original fam-jam is still here or if changes have taken place in some of your lives too...
Guys, I feel like I am letting my Steemit fam down. We're a community here and we're only better together. I have always believed that and held it true in my heart.
So, that being said, I have to tell you a secret.
You know I don't keep anything in the dark here so, I'll tell you where my heart's been hiding and why I haven't been around lately even though it burns me to my core to type this (and somehow in some defense mechanism I'm not writing as vulnerably as I originally intended) but stay with me anyway... here it goes!
I, @heart-to-heart, your Steemit vegan contest host, and teller of intimate, embarrassing stories had my heart broken.
Nay, ripped to shreds and fed to the wolves.
Going back to my question at the forefront... does absence make the heart grow fonder (or colder?)
Does being out of sight equate to being out of mind as well?
For me, with you, being away from you made me miss you more despite everything I was going through. I knew my friends here would be able to virtually hug me back into tip-top, happy-hearted, joyfully playful me and I am really feeling excited to be back and to connect with you again.
... But in the other case (the case of my battered heart)... honestly, the question is here for a reason.
Now that I partied my pain away in Thailand, got a new tattoo, and did a bunch of other super rom-com-esque suggested ways to feel better about myself, I think I can pull it together and start creating again. Creating is my true love, that and food (but you already knew that!)
This is my check in and small account of why I left ya'll high and dry but I am sure at one point I will feel it medically appropriate to bare my entire soul on here. (Writing is incredibly therapeutic and if you're willing, I'd love to let the fragmented pieces of my heart come together in a story for you one day!)
Until then, (On a lighter, brighter note) I can't wait to show you guys the highlights of my adventures! I will try to organize the photos so I can show you some breathtaking views!
One small snag... my epic, brand new phone that I bought with my very first Steemit monies was stolen on NYE :'( Tragic start to 2018 and my photo quality is definitely going to decrease until I can get a new one with a good cam. AHHH, life is something else isn't it? (Keeping my eyes on the brightside....)
I invite you to think about my question and let me know what your opinion is. I have been wavering this in my mind for months and I want a group consensus ;) <3
Thank you for the amazing half a year Steemians! I am sending you all love and wishing you a wonderful start to 2018!
XO,
XO,
I’ve missed you, thankfully we have those other social platforms to help ease the heart pain. I think distance does make the heart etc...you post such great content and such variety that it does leave us wanting more.
Hey girl, I have missed you too! It seems like so long with so much that has happened in between! I hope you had a wonderful holiday and a Happy New Year! How were your holidays? <3 Thank you so much, you always make me blush! It feels good to be back, wifi and home on my lap top, finally =D Now, should we finish that dang DR story or WHAT? ;)
Hey I was missing as well for about a month or more. Been back for 5 days now. Strange you come back at the similar time. lol It is DESTINY. lol NOT.
I am sorry to hear about your heart being broken. Some people don't know what they have sometimes. I am sure one day the one who appreciates your awesomeness will come along and every other was just a roadmap to future happiness. So heads up my friend. Put that heart back together and start sharing some amazing posts you have always been sharing. :)
I have no doubt in my mind many of your friends and followers missed your amazing posts. Great to hear your back, and looking forward on you sharing your adventures. :)
P.S. true friends will miss you when you are away. :)
Hahaha what's with the NOT? Of course it is! Here we are, together again! I'm excited =D
Wow, I love Steemit. This message is just such a huge hug right now! Thanks! Sending you a big virtual squeeze! <3 I am working through everything and sorting it all out. I had a lot come at me at once but I am excited for the opportunity of change and growth to come. I have a huge heart, always room for more <3
I will definitely try to get some cool stuff coming out! I have a lot of photos from NZ, I wish my phone didn't get taken BUT I did back the photos up so PHEWF ;)
How was your time away, did you have a wonderful holiday season? :) XO
I put NOT just so you can say it was destiny so I don't look like a stalker. That is something they would write. lolol There are no coincidences in life. That is what stalker would say again. Maybe I am a stalker.. lol
I am glad I could cheer you up a bit. That is what friends are for. Now let's keep inspiring each to stay active this time. I think I felt that hug today you sent. I was smiling all day. Thoughts do travel where you sent them. SO thank you. :)
We all had a lot coming at us at one point in our life. But, if there were not, life would not be so interesting. I think of it of rebuilding opportunity. Getting back stronger and better than ever. As you will I am sure.
Looking forward to those photos as NZ is gorgeous country.
My time was off was tiring with my season going on, but I enjoy it. I am in a good place right now. No complaints whatsoever. I had a great holiday period. I recharged my batteries for the second part of my basketball season and staying active on Steemit. :)
Have an amazing day. :) xoxoxo
Haha well I am certainly not worried about any stalking. Steemit is essentially stalking... isn't it? ;)
It seems a lot of people took some time off over the holidays so we're not alone! Now we can all come back together again and take Steemit by storm for 2018!
Of course hugs can travel through time and space! I'm happy you felt it! <3 I felt yours too so thank you! I will try my best to encourage you on! It can be hard sometimes when life gets too hectic but Steemit is a family so we'll always come back =D
I just posted another NZ experience of a waterfall that was amazing! I have so many photos I'll be here all year organizing them haha
No complaints at all... wow! I love that! That's inspiring my friend! Good for you <3 Sounds like you are doing well and that makes me super happy to hear!
I am looking forward to 2018 together =D
<3 XO
When you part ways with someone you love or care for on good terms, someone you may see everyday, but really just took for granted of them being around, then I would say , “ Absence makes the heart stronger” because you begin to miss them and the time you spent together.
You would begin to think of them more often, and may even contact each other to give that little bit of yearning, and satisfaction of just to hear their voice.
This makes the relationship stronger.
On the other hand a heart-break with some one you really did not want to lose, would be neither, time heals all, being away won’t make your love for them any stronger, just miss what you had, out of site out of mind won’t apply because you will always remember them, you will find someone that will treat you with the love you search for and Vice versa.
Wow @buster544 thank you for the thought out response! I love it! I like that you've separated it into circumstance, nice play and interesting curve ball to consider. This is a question I am going back and forth on in my own philosophical search for answers to life ;) So I appreciate your point of view, thank you for sharing it with us <3 I agree with you though, I don't think it does have to be black and white does it?... Now I am going to ponder this further ;)
It’s never black or white, there’s always variables in life, and it’s just a matter of taking one step at a time. Live a long happy , prosperous life and remember, finding happiness in life is not a destination but a journey.😀
I offer you what is known as the serenity prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Oh yes, that is something else my mother used to say stop being so black and white like your wardrobe! ;)
Thank you for that. I have heard it many times in life but you're right, perfectly applicable right here and now. I love it! Thank you <3
😊
Out of sight isn't out of mind. Absence makes the heart grow fonder so when the reunion did happen, it is always electric. Works for me but i think the reason why the person was away matters as much as the question and it makes the heart decides whether to forget or to hold on but whatever it is, thoughts and memories can never be erased. Welcome back. your latest follower waves at you.
Hi @olawalium :) Thank you so much for getting in on this! This question has been perplexing me since I was a little girl. I love that you and @buster544 have both brought up the idea of situation. As in, this question is not only black or white, yes or no. I was focuses on one or the other but not the reasoning or experience around it. Now I have more to think about haha... Why the person was away... that is very interesting. Thanks for the input. I shall stew on this for many more years to come I think :P
I am really delighted i could give another perspective to it and i thank you for creating the opportunity to do so. Much appreciated. I hope it helps a little to ease the thoughts you have had since you were little. I really look forward to more for your posts. Welcome back. We need to give you a homecoming ceremony hahahahaha.
Yes, I love having this platform to talk things out! I think as a collective, coming together we can solve so many worldly mysteries, don't you? ;)
I watched a movie yesterday that weirdly touched on this subject too, all conspiring to send my mind turning even more. At this point I think I will be writing a thesis by the weekend :P
I would love a homecoming ceremony haha how can we do this? Where is the party button? ;)
Yes, this is a good platform for that to get things off your chest too. I love posts like that too and coming together we can discus so much and solve so much too. I really can't wait to see what you have to write again. I posted about something i picked from a movie too few hours ago. Can't wait to learn another perspective about what you picked up from the movie. This platform enhances sharing of ideas.
About the party, it is on me, so to make it more exciting, the party is right here, so i will send you flight tickets. Hahaha. Get ready.
Well that is true, it's a much bigger, stronger community than any other platform I know of! :)
I opened the link and will be sure to read it today!
<3 Wahoo! Super excited for the party! I'll be waiting ;)
Spot on! Much bigger and stronger with amazing possibilities. I am more excited about it too. Hahaha. Can't wait to read about it from you.
Welcome back! I felt the same way after I took over a month's hiatus to spend time with my family in Spain (which was a much lamer excuse than heartbreak - I'm so sorry!). I think most people just forgot who I was, but I still felt awkward poking my head back in. On the other hand, time moves so fast that I feel like I just read your last post!
@therovingreader NO WAY! I certainly did not and will not forget you! I love that you have family in Spain (can I come visit?) ;) I actually have my father visiting which I am SURE will come up around here at some point when I can make words out of it haha
For me it feels like ages being on here. I guess since I used to eat, sleep and breath Steemit, having any time away is crazy to me ;)
Happy we're back here together! Happy New Year <3
it'ssuch a big honor to have you here dear and hope you are enjoying al your tripesi love your posts
Thanks @yassinof that is so sweet! <3 I will be posting more again now that I am back home :)
Nice
Good to have you back, and as you'll quickly see, it's a GREAT time to be on Steemit.
Hey @vegancap! I have to get reacquainted, everything is changed it seems! Including the logo! Holy, did I time travel? ;) Happy New Year! Steemit is and has always been the place to be! ;) <3
Hi @heart-to-heart I'm having the same problem I can't seem to find any Steemians who I know as I have been busy working on the business. I just decided to write my 2nd blog of the week after not posting for nearly 2 months. Good to see you can't say I have been following your travel story much good to reconnect. Happy New year wishing you LNL.
Hey @sheapureness, hopefully we can get back into the swing of things round here, ya? :) It kind of seems like a little bit of a different sea now but I'm excited to be back and loved getting this message from you! I am looking forward to seeing your amazing creations again <3
Thank you for the well wishes, I send the same with tons of love right back! Let's do this thing again! ;) <3
Here here @heart-to-heart let do this girlfriend girlfriend the lay of the land has changed slightly but we can do this speak soon LNL.
Step up to the plate and be forward. That is the best and pretty much only way! :)
I 100% agree and that is entirely my personality but I am wondering whether people agree with distance being a positive in a relationship or a negative (for my own creative interests) What do you think? :)
We are all individuals no matter what and need to embrace that. You can't be addicted to people or vice versa, it is just not beneficial. Distance needs to be created to step up your growth. Whatever you have to do, you gotta and need people that support and understand that. Because those are the only people you need in your life. Imo
Interesting perspective @bitdollar thanks for sharing! So you're perspective is that distance can be positive for growth! I'm adding it to the research =D
Yea especially if it does improve your life. Gotta test it out for sure. :)
@heart-to-heart Welcome back!
Hi @riovanes thank you so much :) Happy to be back! Happy New Year =D
I'm glad you're back safely after your adventures. It sounds like you've got some great stories to tell.
Haha how much time do you have? ;) Thanks for the welcome, I am actually really excited to be back. Feels like first day at school or something ;) Hope you had a wonderful New Year!
I did and same to you.
Look at the warm welcome you got! Of course we've got time for your stories.
I know! What a huge Steemit hug! I never want to go anywhere ever again!
I should really get writing some of those, shouldn't I? ;)
Your eyes are so beautiful :)
Hey @tiffanyrej thank you <3 Happy New Year!
Good to have you back! :)
@lenniepennie thank you :) Hope you had a wonderful New Year! I'm really excited to be back in action :)
Welcome back!
@holoz0r!!!! HI =D! Thank you :) I hope you had a wonderful New Year! How are you doing?
Our little gathering of people were ready to fall asleep by 10PM on new year's eve. We went for a walk, and watched literal car crash videos on YouTube to ring in the New Year. A bit of a train wreck. :)
Very positive for this coming year, and hopeful for Steem.
Stick around this time, we need more positive, motivating content like yours!
Well you know, New Years Even lands pretty late in the night... I mean it throws off everyone's sleep schedule what's up with that?
I am also very hopeful and positive for Steem, I think 2018 is going to be fantastic!
Thank you ;) I will do my best, so long as I have a stable place to get my computer out and connect to wifi I will share and connect with my fam jam once more <3
HI FRIEND!!!! I am literally just coming back yesterday after a few month leave from Steemit (so busy working that had not time to chat). I am so glad to see this post and how perfect the post is!!!! I missed seeing all my Steemit Friends :) I am so glad to see you via your post today .. IM BACK!!!!!! Love you Friend!!! SUNSHINE247
Hey @sunshine247 wow! We're back at the same time? Must be fate right? <3 How are those darling angels? Do you have holiday photos for me? <3 I seriously love them! I want to be their Steemit auntie or something haha :)
I missed you too! I'm happy we're both back here together now <3 Happy New Year! Love you!
I think your mom is right, although, it is not the same in reality as is here on Steemit, lol. You know we miss you and we want you back XOXO
Haha I guess I should have specified I was wondering in real life. It was just me philosophizing life while I was away :P I know that I definitely missed you and your amazing recipes! My dad is visiting right now and I have been trying to get him eating vegan and he's trying but he just loves his dang meat and cheese too much! I gotta send him over to you when he gets back. He lands in Toronto I think :P Happy New Year! XOXO <3
Ohhhhhhh Sweetie, I miss having our little chats, lol. But I don't think I could influence your dad much. I haven't been very successful with my own family, lol. I guess that is the hard lesson of being vegan to love your family even if they are not. One of the reasons why we vegans must support each other, even if only online. We are the vegan family here XOXO
I sure do too! I was telling him about you! It is true, it's difficult. I don't usually push but in this case, him living with me, it's happening whether I want it to or not :P
I will always support you and your magnificence don't you worry! You're my idol! <3
I'm happy you're still here Lena, I was going to be devastated if you weren't! XO
Welcome back! You were one of the first people on Steemit that helped me feel welcome and at home. I don't know if there is one right answer to your question, but I think the community on here sure missed you! I continue to find more wonderful people on here every day, so I am sure reconnecting will help fill your beautiful heart with love once again. 🤗
Hey girl! That's so sweet of you to say. Let me tell you on my side, I was so happy to come across you on here! You've been such a plant based champion and I love hearing that you're finding your own community now since when we connected you were so new. I am really inspired with how Steemit can do that <3 I hear ya'll were contesting while I was away! I am so sorry I missed that! I would love to get something up and running again at some point. How are you doing? =D
I don't quite know what it is about Steemit, but I have found more wonderful people on here to engage with than any other platform. I'm glad I came across people like you early on or I may not have stuck with it, so I hope I can do the same for other newbies! ;) There were a few of us who tried to keep the #veganwednesday message going! It wasn't so much about the contest, just keeping your wonderful and positive message of the vegan lifestyle going. I am still trying to find the balance in maintaining a presence on here but also finding joy in life outside of the digital world. I am trying to extend myself a little grace if I don't have time to post as often as I like or engage as much. Life is good overall, though, so no complaints from me! :)
I'm still very new to all this and i haven't really made any friends yet. I feel like i'm the only new kid in a school where everyone is like family
Hey @bobbyr! Everyone feels that way when they join, don't worry! I wrote posts about how sad and lonely I felt... I thought I didn't belong but what I would encourage you to do as @plantstoplanks and I have done, is find your interests and comment and engage with those communities, soon enough you will have found your family :)
I agree with what @heart-to-heart said. It takes a bit of time, but engaging in genuine interaction is the best way to build your tribe! Find posts that speak to you and write thoughtful comments. Most authors will respond back to you and many times other people commenting will too. I have also really enjoyed jumping in on some of the daily or weekly contests as a way to meet more people. You just have to find the ones that interest you!
That's how I felt too, I think it was designed that way. The system encourages camaraderie, not competition you know? By helping each other, everyone wins so it breeds a familial bond instead of some attack on each other to get ahead.
I'm so happy I could bring you in at the early start, that's what happened to me too. I got so welcomed that I just got addicted to this place and how happy it makes me to be here and connect with you all!
Thank you for trying to keep the contest going, that is so amazing to hear! I wish I could have seen the entries because I don't think I can access them after 7 days... maybe I will have to stalk your profiles ;)
I'll try my best to do something as soon as I have more time and am settled back in properly because the message still needs to continue and I love the support of our vegan family to do so! We'll make it work again!
Balance is crucial for sure! I often struggled with that and am positive will be back to that balancing act here soon but I'm happy to have you around and can't wait to see what you've got for 2018! XO
Glad to see you are back! I enjoyed reading your crazy stories! How are your pups doing? They are probably pretty big now! :)
@karensuestudios =D Hi! Thank you so much! Steemit really is like a big family. I feel so fortunate to have connected with so many people here! I'm never leaving anywhere again :P
The pups were actually foster pups from the local shelter so my job was to nurse them back to health until they were old enough to be fully vaccinated and permanently homed. It's a hard job because giving them back after raising them is really difficult (especially for me because I am a HUGE animal lover!)
Thanks for asking about them! =D How was your New Year? Are you excited for Steemit 2018?
Welcome back, @heart-to-heart! It's good to see you and to know that you are doing good! I checked on you every now and then just in case I missed you posting something new ... It's great to have you back! I am happy for you made some new experiences! 🙋🏼
Hey @pusteblume <3 Thank you for the warm welcome! I am just as happy to be back! I can't believe how fast time flew by! I had no internet for the first while of my trip which then combined itself with being unable to charge my laptop and eventually I just gave up and decided I'd catch up later ;)
How are you doing? Have you been Steeming away this whole time? I hope you had a wonderful holiday season! <3
😄 Yes, I am increasing my steeming skills. In some things it takes me a little bit longer than others ... 😅 (I understand easily and quickly - one has just to explain looooong enough! 😜)
I spent the holidays with my parents at my sisters house. It was wonderful! It always is. I can't imagine to be abroad in a warm country for Christmas. 😄
I am really looking forward to seeing new posts from you!
Haha I understand completely! All of this was new and foreign to me too... I didn't understand any of it at one point :P
I'm happy to hear you had a lovely holiday! One thing about being in the warmth is, it's usually away from friends/family so there's always the small snag there.
You can always come visit if you'd like though ;)
XO
Oh, thank you for the invite! 😘
I'm looking forward to your adventure stories. Are you going to post any vegan recipes?
Hey @mikej :) I am working on it! I have creative impulse syndrome so I think I am going to write one thing then go off on something else ;) I was trying to do the next chapter in my adventure from before but I ended up writing a cheat sheet on easy tricks to be vegan! I don't think that counts as a vegan recipe but it's a recipe to be vegan ;) I'll be posting actual recipes soon. I am just getting settled back into my house at the moment but I should make a dessert this week! <3 Hope you had a wonderful New Year!
Broken hearted join the club had mine broke in September but now finding my feet with rapid pace and trying to create , travel and experience more with my extra time . Glad you back and always around for girl talk in Dischord.
Gah, hearts breaking is just not good! What is going on in this world when hearts are breaking into bits all the time, amiright? ;) I am happy to hear you're back on your feet my dear! What doesn't kill us, and all that motivational stuff... nothing helps but time <3
I'm happy to be back too, I'll be slowing trying to get my bearings again =D Sending you a big hug XO
Thanks yea it has been gnarly but necessary , I ll accept that hug and give you vegan treat.
Missed you, too. Was in Vietnam. Back in the USA. Have not been to Thailand like you. Sounds exciting. Love pie, too. But life can be deep like an ocean. It is good to swim. It is good to try in relationships and stuff in life and everything and it can be tough and we have to try to swim and stuff.
Vietnam is beautiful, I was there only a few months ago! You know Thailand was so close to you, you could have just swam :P
You're right though, life can be tough but we can get through it! =D
Yeah, could have swam. Love the rainbows in life. Heart to heart is the best way to live in life. I'm Oatmeal. You are Heart. A lot of places are usually more beautiful than we know at the moment. We look back and we may see so much we missed out in life, in the beauty of the world, and especially in people.