That's what a little voice in the back of my head told me when l I saw her one year ago in back of a garden at a private summer party: so beautiful, so smiling, so true.. She enjoyed life and something in me already wanted to be a part of it.
Deer Steemians, this is a very personal story about a Romanian woman that I fell on love with back in Denmark before I left for my bike tour, a person I build a connection with I cannot explain...
The beginning of something unique
I still remember the night when my current date left for 1/2 year to work in another continent, I was left at the after party in same room sleeping with this Romanian woman. We didn't sleep together, she slept on a sofa and me on a bed on the other side of the room. Something in me wanted her beside me but I knew it would be weird given the circumstances and I was ashamed to almost feel that way. I did have that much respect to think she were a completely forbidden zone to be trespassing.
hello, goodbye and hello again
During that summer i was still meeting her a couple of times under the "just friends" banner. I honestly at that time didn't even let myself have the hope of having anything with her... So naive I was back then.
As summer ended so did our contact and nothing major happened between us, also the girl I was dating at the time ended since I was not that interested anyways(obviously).
But eventually in a dark December night a message popped up on my phone... A message from her asking if I wanted to meet again. I have no idea why she decides write to me after so long given we only met a few times. But how could I say no to meet with such a wonderful person? Nonetheless I was so happy she actually wrote to me.
Something i didn't see coming...
The first day we met we had quite a time together. We shared some beer, walked, talked even put music on a small computer and danced together. We simply just enjoyed each other.
As night was falling I was in fact somewhat invited to sleep by her side... In the same bed. While I did "accidentally" touch her from time to time I was still very sure she didn't mean the same for me, so I didn't make any move although the temptation kept me awake most of the night. How nice it would have been just to cuddle up with her.
In the morning something happened that truly confused me... When I said goodbye and she was still semi-sleeping she took my hand and held it for a few seconds. Such a soft touch from her, it almost turned everything upside down for me.
Not only I was confused by she actually took my hand. But the reaction my body gave when she held my hand was beyond anything I have ever experienced. It's like everything just made sense in the moment.
So our "romance" began.
We never had a boring time together: singing to songs in the car and doing all kind of stuff together such as she introduced me to acroyoga, (once when she tried to show me the "airplane" I accidentally threw her right over me and into the door, we were both laying on the floor laughing). Everything was perfect except i didn't know for sure if I was just a friend to her.
I had to ask her
"Is this more?" I asked her and she indeed told me it was more for her as well. But she didn't feel it was right for her to do because of her friend(my old date) that might still have liked me a little. Obviously she felt she would betray her friend."
Her decision was indeed to keep our relation we had at a minimum level and it made everything so problematic for me. I wanted to do everything with her, wanted to show her what I could offer but I couldn't. Because she was in a position where her decision might cost her best friend, could you blame her?
The time grew closer to my bike trip across Europe
Have you ever been in love? Have you ever been in love and knowing the person wanted you as well, but you could do nothing about it? Both first time for me. All I got from her was her attention, her care and one kiss. A kiss I won't ever forget. If you think how her holding my hand made me feel, then you might understand why I can't put words on the moment she actually let me kiss her.
I'm telling you it's the most horrific feeling to not be able to kiss, invite out or just show real affection for her when your whole body screams for it. My time to travel by bike was coming to start and with it our problems would be solved by distance(atleast that's what I thought). I always try to make the best of things but this time it was a real challenge. Usually I make things turn out like I want it, but this time I had to accept this might not be the case.
On our last day before I was going on my 5 months bike tour I told her before I left what I had to tell her to get moving myself:
The last minutes
I stood in the doorway, tears in my eyes. So much in my head was going around of uncertainty. I have never been travelling before, do I even have it in me to bike across Europe? Will I ever see her again? Why is she so calm? God... Why is she so beautiful?
I didn't dare to kiss her on her lips, a rejection now would make me crumble. So instead I gave he so many kisses I could on her forehead, just to let her know how much this ment for me.
When I had to take the step out of the doorway I couldn't... I could not take one step. It was impossible, I had no control of it. My body and mind belonged with her and there was no way fighting it within myself.
As the miles between us became bigger and bigger.
Germany, Czech republic, Austria, Slovenia, Italy, Croatia, Bosnia, Montenegro, Albania, Greece....
The time of my life where I cycled through every single country, day after day experiencing the most extraordinary people, landscapes and cultures. It's almost as I forgot my old life at home and I could not imagine ever going back. Only one person was still in my mind when I had to sleep or had a moment for myself. Do I even have to tell you who?
Despite almost not talking with her for the whole trip it really didn't matter where I was or what I was doing. she would always pop up in my head, sometimes only for a fraction of a second, but she really still was stuck in my mind. Whether I was watching a sunset, climbing a mountain, talking with strangers... I always thought of how amazing it would have been to have her experience it with me.
Hell, even when meeting other women on the road I thought "they are alright, but not really her... Not nearly as perfect."
An undeniable connection
Could I have a happy life without her? Yes without a doubt I am far too comfortable in myself to believe I would need another person to be happy. I don't Need her BUT I want her. I think this is a important point to make. Maybe that's why I'm so strongly pulled towards her? Because I want her in my life, a life I already know is good but would love to share and make even better with somebody special?
The only question I have yet to answer is why I am so strongly pulled towards her and honestly I have no logical explanation. Sure we have had a great time together with a lot of fun. But the way I want to fight for this woman is beyond anything I understand about myself, beyond my senses. I think this goes deeper than what I'm aware of. I am not a superstitious type but the thought really did cross my mind: could she be my soulmate?
leap of faith
So I do what I do best besides cycling.. I wrote her. I asked her directly and folded my cards completely for her to see them. I told her if she wants to give us a shot then the time is now, I will make it happen, no matter if I have to go back to Denmark to Romania or where ever she needs to go. It don't matter if it's not gonna work out between us, then at least I know and don't have to think back 5 years from now "what if?".
Congrats on your $109! You deserve it, great writing
@captaincanary my friend, good to see you around! I miss your music! Haha
perfect. simply perfect. so happy for ya bro ;)
Thanks mate, before I posted it I was not even sure if I should or not:)
Well well well Holm my crypto-bud.. The future i bright. 10/10 story
Hahaha!
Aww , so nicely written, Thanks for witting such a nice blog :)
Really appreciate that @theia7! Thank you so much
Probably the best blog I'll read today for sure!
Great job man.
Thanks man! Really appreciate that! :)
A pleasure!
This is what I call a blog - true, well written, and about you - nice one!
You are too kind, haha! Thank you so much @abh12345! Your comment made it all worth while :)
My comments and a @blocktrade visit about equal, haha, nice one!
I would like to clarify that I wrote that before @blocktrade. But I would say his vote did help a little hahaha
Well deserved too!
This is the most beautiful story ever, literally made my day .
That's all worth it then :) enjoy another amazing day!
Likewise, God Bless :)
Holm my friend, upvoted a lot off your posts, love it that this one is doing so well, love the story! nice keep them coming very inspiring. and very happy for you!
Trust me you have not gone unnoticed! Appreciate your awesome support!
Awwwww so sweet, I'm so happy for you. I love this story so much. It makes me feel in love again. 😊
Thanks dear! Still looking under those stones for the one? Haha:)
Really it was so awesome that i didn't feel it was long enough so good to read i had a great time reading it that was one of the best and beautiful post thanks a lot for sharing this :)
I'm flattered! Thank you so much @blazing!
You lucky bastard....
esp this pic! SHit! Looks amazing.
Hahaha I see what you did there!
Thanks a lot, the picture was taken in Austria in middle of the mountains:)!
Boy I gotta go there.
You should man! Both summer and winter Is amazing
I hope so!
Adorable. Happy to see you're documenting this time of love and lightness in your life. As a wedding videographer, I see a lot of romance stories, and to me it's an especially beautiful thing to see a man express himself with tender sensitivity and heartfelt gratitude for his partner in life. Good Work!
Wow, awesome comment man:) I do feel that expressing feelings as a man can make you even stronger. Thanks a lot!
Totally. Yeah, I feel like it's almost customary for men to bottle up our feelings, but it's perfectly natural for us to access that heartspace and open up to speak our truth. Especially when it's coming from a place of gratitude. And I'm sure the reality is that the ladies adore that tender part of us that speaks the love language.
You seem like a smart man @cabelindsay. I am sure the ladies wont have a problem finding your tender spot! Great with like-minded people here on steemit!
Wow thats what i call a story of a lifetime. Tnx for sharing.
You welcome! Thanks a lot!
The power of chemistry and electronic sparks, inexplicable by words (i don't even know why we try).
Good thing you wrote the post, its a memoir that will come in handy when the road gets patchy. Congrats! you have etched down a recipe to re-ignite the sparks that will bring you warmth in the aftermath of an unwelcome storm.
well said!:)
@holm Steemit is gonna change lots of lifes, it has changed mine and many others but that is just the beginning. Followed
This post has received a 10.65 % upvote from @lovejuice thanks to: @abh12345. They have officially sprayed their dank amps all over your post rewards. GOOD TIMES! Vote for Aggroed!
Awesome adventures.. I hear the beer in Czech is cheap and amazing?
It is VERY cheap and so great. Almost developed an alchohol problem in that country. haha
Congrats on the blocktrades vote :)
Thanks @felixxx! Cheers mate!
Congratulations, your post received one of the top 10 most powerful upvotes in the last 12 hours. You received an upvote from @blocktrades valued at 98.33 SBD, based on the pending payout at the time the data was extracted.
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Congratulations @holm, this post is the seventh most rewarded post (based on pending payouts) in the last 12 hours written by a Superuser account holder (accounts that hold between 1 and 10 Mega Vests). The total number of posts by Superuser account holders during this period was 934 and the total pending payments to posts in this category was $5189.08. To see the full list of highest paid posts across all accounts categories, click here.
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STOPso happy for you both! Happy endings are the best :) thanks for sharing....
Thanks a lot man!
Beautiful!
what a beautiful story! True love always wins. Good luck for you guys! Can't wait for your next pos of your trip together!
Thanks a lot @twolittlebirds! she will come to Denmark in October where i will be meeting up with her and going together to Romania, will keep you updated!
Awesome!
See people want to hear the juicy stuff. Congrats on a SUPER successful post! You deserve it!
Thank you @quinneaker :) Your honesty about what you would like to see in my posts did make me change to make more meaningful posts to myself and the community. Keep up being honest!
Regardless of if people like it or not I most likely will ;-)>
What people need to realize is that regardless of if they like it or not I have a lot of value in my perspective as is currently bearing great fruit for you!
Keep on improving!
SteemoN!
WOW! seems like you had a blast ! Wonderful pictures.
Thanks @firepower ! appreciate the kind words!:)
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STOPTotally best thing I've read today! Happy for you and good luck!
Thanks for sharing this with me over on my own love story! How sweet and I definitely agree with you, pro activity is something so many of us do not partake in, causing regret and anguish over broken hearts and 'what if's'... I wish love were everywhere <3 I'm so happy to hear she said yes! Enjoy my friend!=D
It's gonna be one hell of a adventure to see where my life will go with her. Thanks that you took your time to read it! I really loved your post and defently gonna keep an eye out for me:)
awesome! congratulations my friend!!!
I enjoyed reading the topic and thank you for sharing it with us
Great and beautiful photos
But the most beautiful is your choice
You are a professional @holm
Hey, my name is Nadine and I am new on steemit. I would be happy if you could check out my post and follow back. Thank you :-)
https://steemit.com/live/@leo-tmp/teaching-english-in-chiang-mai-thailand-my-travel-diary
I love your post. Great!!!
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Will check you out:)! Thanks a lot!