The Bloom
"Risking the comfort of caged sanity for a taste of unknown freedom... that's when I found her, the wild one within me." --Jacquelyne
You have to get close to see them, the tiny yellow blooms. This time of year is tourist season in Borrego Springs. It's April, and supposedly the best time of year to camp in the desert. I drove into town for water and firewood, then set out for a quiet camp site. And yes, someone was with me.
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As I drove up the hill overlooking town, I asked my passenger to get out the map and look for an ideal stakeout. But, since I tend to neglect the genius in others, I found myself pulling over and choosing one myself. That's something I've been working on. The truth is, I don't trust people. People have minds, and minds are deep wells of hidden agendas. Half the time I think most people are not even aware of themselves, so why trust them to be aware of what's important to me? Anyway, I'm sure I'll be fine.
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Camp is set up and a fire is burning when I get back from my mountain walk. We pull out guitars and attempt to harmonize in a freestyle poetry rap. I was pretty good. I made sure to keep quiet long enough between stanzas so that he could chime in. The mind spewed fearlessly, unabashed, not concerned about the outcome of unprocessed subconscious blabber...
I'm a goddess, fear me
Either you can't see
Or you wont
Don't expect me to choke
Sorry I'm not sorry
Your my scapegoat
I eat men like you for lunch
Society please
Stop
I want to love without thought
One day I gave up
It seemed no man was ever enough
Tough love or just tough
So, forgive me I have sinned
This skin is only skin deep
At times I've forgotten to just breathe
I need a break
In the place of partnership
I've paved a uncommitted path
One with happy endings not aftermath
And here I go again
Another fish released back to sea
Probably headed south
Mouth to mouth resuscitation can't save us now
Wow I didn't see that one coming
I never do
It's time to face the music
My freestyle was hype. I dropped the mic... okay, I'll stop rhyming. But, there it was, I wasn't in love. I was fearful, triggered, and stuck in the past. At least I could identify my feelings and have a big girl conversation about where I stood. So, we talked about it and decided to see what it would be like to just have fun and let go of making the weekend about forming a deeper relationship.
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We put out the fire, washed our dishes together in silence, and spent the next hour gazing up at the sky of stars. It's safe to say we both fell asleep that night knowing how good it feels to be honest. Communication is everything. Turns out, he was just as confused about his own feelings. Freestyle rap sure brings out the truth, and it's so much more fun than a sit down talk for these kinds of things!
At day break, my inner child wanted to go out and play. Not on trails or tourist traps, but out beyond the paved points of interest. We hiked out to a nearby mountain and found a grove of dead treas where we could play privately.
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I painted my face with burnt ash like a warrior, then applied red lipstick and got naked. That's all I really wanted to do. I love connecting with the earth this way. Rolling in the grass, jumping from rock to rock, my bits exposed to sun and wind. It's primal. There should be more land designated for this.
We had moments of connection, but we spent most of our time in our own space. I took a bunch of selfie's and he wandered off on a quest. We took turns reading chapters from Breaking Normal by my good friend Daniel Eisenman over a picnic lunch. It was a wonderful afternoon, there were no expectations.
It's almost comical, how we set out to bond for the weekend and ended up happier with more space between us. Like attracts like.
Did I mention I was a Scorpio?
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Wonderful!
Very good :)
The pictures really help the poetry come to life. You look excited about your work. Good post!
you like more poetry..i have post hope you like it jamie.https://steemit.com/poetry/@mrblu/the-bluepost-poetry-walk-to-remember-with-jesus-christ
https://steemit.com/cn/@mrblu/mrblu-poetry-chinese-version
What an awesome and energetically invigorating adventure! Getting out into nature to just "escape" the chaos of modern life, is always good food for the soul! - oh and I think your writing is fabulous... even when you ARE rhyming!
Looking forward to seeing more form you - have followed :)
Much love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
Thanks @jaynie! So appreciate the compliments and the love! Headed over to your blog page now! Excited to connect! Let me know if you ever have a topic you would like me to rhyme about.. I can take the challenge.. maybe by video next time! ha MUCH LOVE
Nice....
Thats's just awesome.
Very well written and i liked to read til the end.
I can imagine the feeling you had there, this kind of spending your own time is the best you can do. Just go out and let the nature cure you from all the madness around. Love to hear more from your journey.
Peace and have a nice day!
Thanks @rheteric 😊
wesome and energetically .
where place that @jacquelyne ?
nice to know, im @alhabbal from aceh.
follow and upvote me again.
Thanks! California :) headed to your blog now!
hello, I live in Myanmar Country.I like your post
and nice it.
Thanks!
NIceeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Haha :) appreciate that!
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STOPnice pictures of you!
lol great poem <3
Ω
followed, upvoted and re-steemed
Awesome! Thanks!! Just followed you too, and looking forward to your posts!!
Now that's a shamanic epic weekend.
Full Power Inspiration.
Experience one, soon I will.
Nature is the greatest remedy,
and is enhanced by genuine connection.
And Thank You...for your medicine message.
Love it! Thanks for seeing me :) headed over to visit your blog now! :)
Real Fact this is what I will like to hear am ansu from Africa by the way
Your face with the paint marks is amazing! Re-steeming just by that ;)
The post is also amazing.
Keep as passionate as you are.
Filipe
Yay!! Thanks so much!!!
very good story :)
Thanks!
sepertinya perjalanan yang sangat menyenangkan, selain bisa merasakan alam bebas dan juga terdapat pandangan mata yang memposa di alam sekitar
Thanks for sharing the freestyle rap.
I have recently joined steemit and have made my first post, we have similar interest I think you will love it.
https://steemit.com/nature/@hassenmzali/natural-builders-journey-1-cae-mabon
ps. Oh by the way I'm a scorpio too :D
Yes!! So glad to connect on here! Just followed you :)
Am also cancer water sign and rule by the moon
very cool :)
NICE LOVE IT AND FOLLOWED
Yes! me too!
At times I also forget to breath .....
nice..
Hello Jacquelyne. I love your write-ups, so much that I even mentioned you in my poetry :-
https://steemit.com/poetry/@himshweta/daniel-s-journey-to-ageing
Feel free to check it out.
Cheers
Himshweta
keep going, looks great
This is so deep! Love it! I love reading other poets poetry and your poetry is very intriguing. This is my story when it comes to love and relationships. I especially relate to "One with happy endings not aftermath". I know, right? Following you!
thanks!!! love your excitement about it!! following you too!
Interesting post.. Thanks for share you moment @jacquelyne
Whoaaaa!!! Really awesome place, you look great and I absolutely love your posts voted and followed wish you tha same itried some poetry hope you like ^_^https://steemit.com/poetry/@funnystuff/cinderella-cliche
Love AndTakecare 🌹
I love it. a. yes, you will be fine. b. stop it, stop eating men for breakfast - you are what you eat. kudos for writing your heart out! your words matter.
haha! thanks!! had cereal today. ;)
you are very creative !
its great..followed..hmmn kindly see my post also hope you like it..https://steemit.com/poetry/@mrblu/the-bluepost-poetry-walk-to-remember-with-jesus-christ
That is the potency of inner usage of talents... It is unstructured and unconceived but comes out in its natural essence