I screwed up. All I wanted to do was to make some delicious French toast for breakfast for my family. It didn't work out. Here is a public service announcement for how you should not make French toast.
We are staying at a bed-and-breakfast. At this bed-and-breakfast we have the opportunity to gather eggs from the chickens every morning, as we did this morning. What could be better than to cook up some French toast with farm fresh eggs? But you said you're staying at a bed-and-breakfast. Why on earth would you be making your own breakfast?
Ok fine. We are staying at a Bed. No breakfast provided, but our place has a kitchen that is stocked with the basic essentials. So we cook our breakfast.
I don't have all of the ingredients on hand that I would normally use, but I'll make do, especially since, after a morning of doing farm chores, I can actually hear my family's hungry bellies growling in three-part harmony.
I crack the fresh-from-the-hen eggs into a bowl. Ok now, let's see... where is the cinnamon? Oh there is no cinnamon. Ok, I manage to find some nutmeg and add that instead. This is going to be all right.
All right now it's time for the vanilla. Oh wait no vanilla either!? All right all right. I find an orange and juice it into the bowl instead. Ok so we have orange-nutmeg French toast in the making. This is surprisingly shaping up to be a recipe I might want to repeat someday, and I feel pretty good about it until...
No. Maple. Syrup!
Theres no way that my family will eat French toast without maple syrup. There's got to be a way to save this meal. I search through the cupboards and I finally find an unmarked container filled with sugar and I decide that I will sprinkle the sugar on the French toast so it will form a sweet crust while it cooks that will leave the desire for maple syrup a thing of the past. I am a culinary genius. I mentally give myself a high five. And a hug.
I start frying up the French toast and Magnanimous Mom that I am, I let the kids have the first two pieces to come off the stove, and I cut them into neat little squares. The sugary crust didn't much form on the kids' pieces, so I decide to amp it up by pouring even more sugar on the rest of the batch. While the rest is cooking, I tend to the kids to help them but they tell me they don't want to eat any more. But I thought you were all near starvation, why aren't you eating this fabulous gourmet breakfast? Then I realize that the other pieces are getting close to burning, and pop them off the stove and plate them up for me and my husband.
I am so ready to tuck into my Iron Chef-esque creation and we dig in.
Hmm...I think maybe the bacon grease that I used to oil the skillet added a disturbing amount of.....saltiness!?!
What is going on!? ::Gulp::
I look up to see my husband still slowly chewing - but not actually eating - his first bite, with a very confused look on his face, and that's when I realize.
I hope that this public service announcement may lead to both the labeling of containers and the verification of a food's identity before you dump it onto your meal.
All images by @jaymorebeet unless indicated otherwise. Captured on my iPhone 6s on 7/1/2017.
Great post @jaymorebeet, I give you an A+ for effort and a salty dog salute!!! Up-voted and re-steemed.
Why couldn't my kids have given me the A+ - that's what I wanna know!?! Hah! Thanks matey.
Hilarious 🤣
Haha well now I can laugh- at the time I was so hangry!
Haha. Classic--I've totally done this before :) I also like how you said you're staying in a Bed, not a B&B! Haha...
Haha thanks! Good thing we had yogurt in the fridge!
Oh no! At least you tried hard though. I love fresh eggs. You're so lucky to stay in a place where you can collect your own. That's really cool. One way to make french toast without nutmeg, sugar, or spices is to make a peanut butter sandwich, dip it in egg, then fry it. Or a jelly sandwich. That's my handy recipe when I have run out of things.
Woahhh mind=blown with the pb- French toast! My dream is to have hens of my own but until we move to a house with more land, we can't do it legally. For now this will do. :)
I usually just whisk eggs, dip the bread, toss the mess on the griddle, and add syrup once it's done and on my plate. I don't fuss over other ingredients in my recipe.
My worst experience involves getting a farm-fresh egg that is nasty on the inside. PRO TIP: Use a smaller bowl to crack each egg first, and then pour the eggs into the main mixing bowl one at a time, so a bad egg doesn't ruin the whole batch!
Ooh great idea!! It didn't even cross my mind to do them one at a time. Smart!
This problem has very rarely occurred, but it invariably happens when you don't have enough eggs on hand to make another batch!
Of course - Murphy's law must take effect!
Cute. Those farm eggs actually looked really good. I did the same thing once a long time ago. I think it was pancakes. Luckily I was only cooking for myself. Did you end up going out for breakfast?
Welp I guess if you make the mistake once you won't make it again! We had yogurt instead. Boring but better than Salty Egg Toast.