I have not been friends with my wife for a long time
I have been sharing my home with a
stranger and its no fault of hers that she
also sees me as one.
***********
So getting home that day as usual,
my face bereft of friendliness, care or
empathy.
I walked in to find the house reeking of
cleanliness, she was on the sofa at the
parlour, legs crossed watching a movie.
I walked past her into the bedroom
ignoring her greetings.
We barely talk, we literally live like two
grown ups only leasing an apartment
together.
I had lost my affection for her,
it wasn't something I consciously did,
I just could not explain why I feel this
utter repugnance each time she's close by
me.
*******
I was still in the bedroom dressed in just
my shorts when she walked in.
' Nnam ' she said
' here is your food. '
I wanted to get angry and rebuke her,
but something pushed my attention
and I noticed she was dressed in a mini-short and a crop top.
She looked beautiful today and hyper
glamorous.
I hadn't noticed this in weeks.
She made to leave and I without thinking
stood up and held her hands.
And as soon as I touched her I regretted my decision,
for my pride nearly enveloped the fires she had rekindled within,
but it was too late to let go.
I kissed her for the first time in a long time.
She didn't hold back but selflessly
allowed her lips to hold hands with mine.
I made love to her and in the heat of passion,
guilt washed all over me and I
despairingly regretted everything I had
done to this woman.
*******
I had not been a good man and husband.
I had torn into tiny shreds the heart of
the only woman that had ever truly loved
me.
- I had denied her myself and given it
instead to ladies who had no regards for
marital vows.
- I had chosen gravels over the diamond
that the universe blessed me with.
*********
So after we made love on that day,
she looked me in the eyes and said 'Thank
you '. As she burst into sorrowful sobs.
I walked out into the bathroom, locked
myself in and cried.
I remembered the very first time I saw her,
I remembered the sway of her full hips as
she walked past me, I remembered the
fire in her eyes as I spoke to her,
the magic in her smile.
But she didn't have just beauty,
she had soul,
She had a heart as fascinating as
Ronaldo's goal.
I had failed as a man, I am ashamed of
myself and sorrow has occupied a room in
my soul.
Do I go left where there's nothing right?
OR
Do I turn right where there's nothing left?
Akudo (my wealth of honour),
You have every reason to want to walk
away, every reason to not look back on
the vows we shared.
But before you leave even if you will,
***Please forgive me***
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