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RE: Whispers of a nation

in #story3 months ago

Hello @toluwanispecial. An interesting story of unrest and those willing to rise up and take a stand.

I did have a question thought. Ngozi is at home with her daughter cooking her dinner. When did this scene take place and the subsequent paragraphs about being out at night at the market. It seems out of order as it should have happened before she arrived home:

"Ngozi watched them, her heart pounding slightly faster. The young men were wearing shirts with the face of one of the newer candidates plastered across their chests. His slogan was bold, painted in bright letters: "For the People, By the People!" She had heard about him—Yusuf Adedayo. A fresh face, a man from the grassroots, they said. A man who understood the pain of the common Nigerian. But Ngozi wasn’t sure if that made a difference anymore."

Or did this occur the next day?

Thanks for sharing this story.

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Yes, I have made corrections while editing the manuscript. All that happened before she got home. She also goes out the next day for the protest where she finally meets her friend, who informed her about the protest. I hope this helps. Thanks for stopping by. I do really appreciate it.

I apologize if I wasn't clear. Ngozi is stirring the rice while at home after visiting the market.

In the next paragraph you talk about the boys in the market:

"Ngozi watched them, her heart pounding slightly faster. The young men were wearing shirts with the face of one of the newer candidates plastered across their chests. His slogan was bold, painted in bright letters: "For the People, By the People!" She had heard about him—Yusuf Adedayo. A fresh face, a man from the grassroots, they said. A man who understood the pain of the common Nigerian. But Ngozi wasn’t sure if that made a difference anymore.

As she turned to leave the market, a voice called out to her. “Ngozi! My sister!” She turned and saw Ifeoma, her best friend, weaving through the crowd towards her.

“Ngozi, what are you doing here at this time? It’s not safe to be out late anymore,” Ifeoma said, her eyes darting around the busy market.", then continue on with her friend asking her why is she out so late. Then she goes home.

She's already at home.

Did you see my last reply to your comment?

I did see you last reply. However, the post still read as above as of a few minutes ago. Perhaps it takes time for the changes to be seen.

Thanks so much.

Oh, I haven't edited it on Hive yet. I meant on my personal manuscript. I posted it long ago, so I found out that there was an error in chapter one. The same part you pointed out. I didn't know I could still edit posts that have been paid out, which was why I didn't bother again. However, if it works, I will try it since you are interested in the story or better still. I can send you the manuscript.

When you say "personal manuscript" what do you mean?

I meant the one that contains all the story chapters.