FADE FROM BLACK: [Inside Don Nedleone’s palatial home at his custom juice bar]
MELKORIO (seated in front of the Don Nedleone’s juice bar)
I believe in Steemitville. Steem posting has made my fortune. And, I raised my daughter in the Steemian fashion. I gave her upvotes and resteems, but -- I taught her to never dishonor the message boards. She found a boyfriend; not a regular Steemian, but one from the Anarchy Subgroup! She had chats with him: she stayed up late shit-posting. I should have known this would happen.
Three days ago, the Anarchist shit-poster and a total degenerate from the Steemit Sex board suggested they all play drunken online strip-poker. They wanted to get webcam shots of her perky rack! My daughter resisted. But, they taunted her and even texted her an emoji rolling its eyes mockingly at her. She gave-in.
And now, screenshots of my daughter's ample bosom have received over 98 views and 63 upvotes on the Porn board! Now she just sits in her room quietly weeping and drowning her sorrows in pint after pint of Ben and Jerry’s Urban Bourbon.
[ Melkorio’s head slumps forward, his chest heaving. Don Nedleone waves to his consiglieri Danny Walnuts to fetch Melkorio a glass of grappa]
My apologies Don Nedleone
[Melkorio downs the glass in one mighty slurp]
I….. I went to the Steemcleaners like a good Steemian. The naughty Anarchist and the Sex Pervert were flagged and had their reputations dropped to nearly invisible. But, Don Nedleone, my buxom daughter’s epic ta-tas keep getting resteemed!!! That is when I knew that I must go to Don Nedleone for justice!
[DON NEDLEONE (sitting behind his juice bar on a emerald-green lazy boy petting his pet ferret Fernando)]
Why did you go to the Steemcleaners? Why not come to me first?
MELKORIO
My bad…. honorable Don Nedleone. I’ll do anything, just do what I’m begging you to do.
DON NEDLEONE
I’m listening, but hurry up, since it’s time to feed Fernando. He gets grumpy when his blood sugar is too low.
[Melkorio moves around the juice bar and quietly whispers in Don Nedleone’s ear]
Remove it from the blockchain and ban the IP addresses of the two rogues who have sullied my beloved daughter.
DON NEDLEONE
That I can’t do.
MELKORIO
I’m begging here. I'll do anything you want!
DON NEDLEONE
You’ve had an account here for years and I don’t even remember the last time you gave me an upvote or comment, even though I gave you those monster-sized 100% upvotes. Those had you rolling in Steem-sugar late last year! And now you come to me with your problems? You never wanted my friendship. You never even bothered to resteem those super-cute photos of Fernando cuddling with a baby duck! This is totally harshing my buzz.
MELKORIO
I didn’t want to look like a suck-up in front of my followers Don Nedleone.
DON NEDLEONE
I get it. You had your rabid pack of followers. You were making fat stacks of Steem Dollars on my platform! You thought you were Big Pimpin’, but now you come hat-in-hand to me.
You don’t even think to call me Steemfather! Nooooo…. You come here right at Fenando’s lunch time and you ask me to break the sacred blockchain code?
MELKORIO
I’m asking for payback and justice.
DON NEDLEONE
That’s not justice sucka! That’s blockchain murder. Your daughter will be fine. Besides, she is pretty hot looking and I gave that post a 50% upvote myself.
MELKORIO
Then can I send some Steem Dollars to your account in exchange for just a little piece-o-revenge?
I want them to suffer, like my daughter. She has gained over 4 pounds already. It's not looking good for her getting into ballet school this fall, now that she’s plumping-up.
DON NEDLEONE [Stands-up and does a Michael Jackson moonwalk over to the window]
Melkorio… Melkorio… Why are you dissing me bro? If you came to me all friendly-like, then these two douchebags and their titty-doxing post would be sorted out faster than Superman on laundry day. And, if they tried anything funny then they would become my enemies, so they would be totally dropping a load in their pants at the very thought.
MELKORIO
Be my Bro -- Steemfather?
[Melkorio bows humbly and gives Fernando a belly rub]
DON NEDLEONE
Allllllllrightythen! We’re cool.
Some day, and that day may never come, I’ll call upon you to shit-post some dude that has offended me. Until that day… accept this special piece-o-revenge that will put a hurting on the scum who booby-doxed your daughter.
MELKORIO [as he leaves the room]
Grazie, Steemfather.
DON NEDLEONE
Prego [then to Danny Walnuts after Melkorio leaves the room]
Give this job to Jerry Banfield. That guy is slaying it. Get him to do something on D-Tube with some super-dank memes that will leave those two upskirt hounds crying to mamma!
[End of Scene]
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