GOODBYES ARE ALWAYS HARD |Telling my aunt goodbye. R.I.P

Hi all!

And **welcome to ~another~ @mellowleaf post **.

Today I Will be writing a sad but true story about how my favourite aunt passed away two days ago.

My aunt J. Was always a kind of special person.
Not the kind of special like a bond, But the "special kid" kind of special after she had two accidents Which damaged her brain.
So you could say that this made her kind of dumb. But in a very sweet and social way.

Although she didn't understand much of life, she lived it to the fullest.
She had fun, laughed, gave the greatest advice and was always there for me, for us.

A few months ago we found out that she had lungcancer. And as she thought that was that - Yeah she smoked... a lot! - she continued the search because she felt like there was more wrong with her than they thought there would be.

And so they found out that the cancer was spread everywhere in her body.
Her lungs, bones, back, kidneys and her brain.
Since she knew she Said she didn't want any chemotherapy or any radiation therapy. Which we could understand Because it would Cause even more pain than she already admit she has.
So she got herself some morfine.

After a few weeks the situation got worse.
She was constantly confused, was more in pain and just didn't feel Well.
She got back to the hospital, like she never would have gone to on her own and they treated her with more painkillers.

She slept for 24 hours straight -
And couldn't wake her up.

After a few days in the hospital, she had made the decision that she didn't want the treatment anymore, and just wanted to die at home.
So she had a nurse for 24/7 while she laid in bed. Smoking One sigarette After another.

Last thursday my boyfriend @websolutions and me went to my aunt J. To say our final goodbyes.
I wore my finest high heels, a skirt and a very Nice jacket.
(Why? Because she was always nagging about me wearing too much dark clothes, and being a tomboy)

And I told her I wore this especially Because of her.
She laughed, her eyes were shining so bright. And she told me I was a real lady and she loved it. And she called me a beautiful lady.
We kissed her goodbye with these words stuck in my mind..
This is Why I dressed up so Nice.
We decided not to come back, as they were putting her to sleep so she wouldn't feel the pain.
And I thought my final goodbye saying to her 'I love you, Good night my sweet aunt'.
And she told me

"I love you, you are a very beautiful lady"
And she smiled to my boyfriend and Said "you did a Nice job!"

When we got outside I was shaking so hard, Because Then I realised... i would never, ever.... See her alive again...

Two days later, as we were about to pick up my mom so we could go to a birthday party.. my boyfriend en I saw her Getting loaded up into the hearse funeral car.
I could not believe it !

After calling my other aunt and asking it If it was True she told me Yes. Unfortunatly she had passed away around 11.30 am.
But she didn't feel any pain.
The family Said their final goodbyes and When they all went home, she slept... knowing she would never wake up again.

With No pain.. No hate.. No worries.
So I am glad that she is in a better place, Without any pain.

And i Will miss her, i Will miss her everyday.
I love you J.