(If only I had posted it on Steemit!) The comments and reactions on this post are still flooding in.
First Things First
First of all, I'm hesitant to write this post at all. This is something I honestly don't share with many people, even those I'm close to because there are such a wide range of reactions. With that in mind, please be considerate of anything you comment below and wary of conclusions you might jump to without fully understand the situation.
A Little Background
When I was young, I used to say I had a "chameleon personality." Whoever I was around, I could suddenly feel, act, and talk like them even without trying. I felt people's emotions (the good and the bad) and deeply understood what they were experiencing in life. Before I knew what was really going on, it was very easy to get overwhelmed by everything.
That's me on the left and my sister on the right.
It wasn't until about four years ago that a friend suggested I read an article on "empaths." He thought it described me well. After reading, I now understand that Empaths are people who can sense other people's energy/emotions without trying. It's heightened emotional awareness, if you will. If you're curious, this article explains other traits that Empaths share.
Facebook Groups
Now, I'm part of two empath groups on Facebook. It's comforting to hear conversations around things I deal with every day—being overwhelmed by large groups in public places, having people get offended when I know they're having a rough day without telling me, being regularly fatigued, spotting lies from a mile away, etc. etc. etc. And recently, I wanted to know if other empaths shared another trait...
Just to clarify, the "short period of time" I'm talking about is an hour or less.
Here are a few of the 150+ comments in agreement.
And some more...
What Made Me Think to Ask This?
Weellll, this is definitely something I've seen happen before. It caught me off-guard, though, when @shenanigator and I met up with @knircky and @surferymarly in Las Vegas. They're both from Germany, a place I've never been. Within an hour, I noticed myself picking up the accent without even trying. It worried me a little because we had just met them for the first time and I didn't want to give off the impression that I was mocking them or something.Ah, Yes. I Hear You Science & Psychology Lovers!
Some of you might be thinking, "Well, duh. This is just basic human behavior. We mimic accents to put people at ease." Why yes, good friend. You're right! In fact, studies have proved "social easing" or "converging" to be true. People do it to adapt to different social situations. However, since it is a skill strongly associated with human empathy, it would make sense that Empaths—who can take on emotions as their own—would be able to do this almost instantaneously.Any other empaths out there? Thoughts?
If you enjoyed this article, remember to up-vote and follow me— @sharingeverybite —for more!
Absolutely can relate to this. I've had an affinity for accents ever since I was a little kid. I don't remember this, but according to my mom, she was playing a record that had some of JFK's speeches on it, and I apparently spent the next several hours mimicking his accent every time I opened my mouth.
I pick up accents when I study languages very quickly, which was always fun for theater or just making friends laugh. What an awesome question! Have an upvote. :)
What a great memory! And I bet it's super useful when speaking other languages so you'd sound less like a foreigner when doing so.
I must confess I totally do this all the time... and wasn't even aware that I did till my wife almost lost her chit when we were on vacation in Spain a few years ago, and I switched from American English to match the regional dialect of an Englishman from Liverpool in about three seconds.
In my case, it's the result of growing up all over the place (12 countries on 3 continents by age 18) and learning that it was best to "mingle and appear local." And yeah, it's very chameleon-like.
In the wrong context or in front of the wrong audience, I'm sure it can get someone in trouble! I've definitely been embarrassed and frowned at a few times. On the other hand, it's a handy way to make friends. I'm sure you've had both experiences with all your traveling!
I am an empath as well and it causes me great social anxiety at times. I do pick up accents effortlessly and found myself mid sentence in an Irish accent at an Irish bar once. I was the only one who noticed, apparently, so that was good.
I'm pretty sure I'm not an empath (I can be pretty thick when it comes to realize other people feelings sometimes) but i have experienced the accent appropriation many times before. During Summer I spend 2 weeks in a sort of outdoor camp, with people coming from all over the country. There is a very distinct difference between south and north accents. By the end of the 2 weeks, most southerners are using northern accents and viceversa and no one realizes it until they go back to their own cities and see how differently they are talking than those around them :P
So I'm guessing that as an empath you might get this happening much faster which can be annoying, but dont worry, you are not alone. Every time i go back to my city after the camp, my friends and family all mock me saying things like "Oh, look who's turned southerner in 2 weeks! Can't imagine what would be like in a month!"
If someone gets offended, well, its their prerrogative, but just try to explain you didnt do it consciously.
That's a great story! Imagine the conversations that must happen when everyone gets home. Yeah, I think so...instead of acclimating to a new accent over a few weeks, months, or years, it happens much more rapidly. That's my guess, anyway. :P
So true! If it's ever brought up, I'll just explain my case and they can do with it what they will. Usually, if people are extra butt-hurt, it's a good indication that they're probably not people I want to be around anyway. lol
I just remember happening this to me once. I was talking to this British girl and after a couple of minutes I took over the accent - or at least I unconsciously did. It must've sounded horrible, haha!
Only thing that I do notice on a more regular basis, is that my accent gets thicker when I am around my dad for instance. His accent is thicker than mine. When we meet, we both go nuts on it.
Very interesting read! I don't think you should worry about it too much :)
How wild! Did she notice it or did you?
Did you talk like your dad more when growing up, then transition out of it when being around other people? I've heard some stories like that before, especially when people go off to college. It's easy to go back to your roots though. :)
I had not realized that I did this until my family told me. Apparently, from time to time, I'll break out in a foreign accent without hearing myself doing it, but others hear it and question why I do that. I have been learning how to use my abilities effectively to enhance my life experience. It's an interesting journey for sure!
I wonder what causes that to happen spontaneously. Do you consider yourself an empath as well, or something else?
I am an empath, with other identifiable gifts too. Universal energies are limitless in their ability to be expressed.
Buena historia
I love you. i like it......
You like to take it fast, I see.
🤐
I am dying over here 😂😂😂
Whenever I am speaking to someone with an accent, I start speaking with a bit of an accent instinctually
sending positive vibes your way!
try not to shut down and become apathetic.
I know I have to limit my exposure,even on social media sites,but seem to do better on steemit.
do you notice the difference too?
Namaste!
I do my best! I think connecting with people online is much easier than in person because you remove the presence of someone else's emotions entirely. At least, that's my experience!
Steemit is definitely superior to other social media sites in terms of the community and relationships here. I enjoy interacting with people because there's far less negativity and callousness that you usually find on Facebook, for instance.
hmm...
I seem to pick up on vibes, emotions on the computer , but I struggle w/ them (computers) as well,so maybe it has something to do w/ that... seem to pick up on bad vibes real easy, but I also can be lifted real high from reading good positive post.
:-)
I hope your steemit journey is great!
Is there a relationship between being an empath and high EQ? I do well on ability tests for the latter (reading body language, understanding how others feel based on context etc.), as in I score in the top 1%, but I can't say I would experience anything like what you describe as being an Empath.
I think they're very similar. After all the word "empath" is straight from "empathetic" and they share some characteristics. I'd say I've gained much of my emotional intelligence from my experiences as an Empath whereas maybe you've honed yours over time?
Curious, what were the EQ tests you've done? I've never done anything like that!
I did some with a psychologist but there was also a paid one online I did a few years back. If the name of the website comes to me I'll edit this post.
I can tell you what it was like. It was one half self reporting, one half ability based questions (with pictures of people, situations, eyes, faces etc.). Vast majority of online EQ tests only give you the self reporting half, even though both are important for actually measuring EQ.
Interesting! I'll have to keep my eyes peeled, it would be cool to know what type of scoring I'd get. To be honest, I think having a "learned" high EQ would be more beneficial than dealing with other people's emotions all the time. Seems much more stable, logical, and useful.
EQ is only part learned, just like IQ. It mostly comes naturally (but not entirely) from genetics . Yet it still doesn't seem the same thing. My ex was on the autism spectrum but she tended to experience other people's emotions as her own (I don't know if that necessarily makes her an empath though). She most certainly didn't score high on EQ tests (in fact they were part of her diagnosis).
Hmm... makes you wonder! It's a very understudied and misunderstood thing—there are SO many unanswered questions about it all. As soon as you start throwing around labels like "psychic" or "clarivoyant" (or Empath lol) people kinda roll their eyes like it's witchcraft or something and don't take it seriously.
That's because those labels are basically saying "I am magic". There is a big difference between making a claim that fits with science and one which does not.
There's nothing magical about being an empath. Indeed it may be the natural state for young babies (younger than 1 year). We begin to simulate the experiences of other people in our minds very soon after birth. It's only at around 1 year of development that a baby begins to separate their own emotional experience from those of others. It's for that reason that emotions appear more contagious for babies of that age, for example if a baby can hear another baby crying somewhere, they are strongly compelled to cry as well, even if they're not experiencing distress themselves.
I live in a very diverse community so not hearing accents would be more of a shock to my ears than when I do. Great people speak so many ways. Love it.
I suppose there's no such thing as "not having an accent." I might not have an accent to many people in the US, but that's not the case if I travel south or leave the country.
Really interesting personal insight @sharingeverybite :-)
I don't know if I'd call myself an empath but I do pick up on people's negative emotions and it can ruin my day for sure :/
That is so interesting. I am an empath for sure, which can be pretty destructive. Good thing I became aware of it and now I take less damage :D I love to imitate other languages and dialects and did not think that it can be linked to my emapthy, so it is a good point of view. Thanks :)
Interesting article. Thanks for sharing your personal secrets. IMO, this emotional sensitivity is directly traced to the way you interacted with your adult caregivers as a baby and child. What kind of bonding and attachment behaviour developed (or not developed) during that period :-)
BTW, it happened to me few times to auto copy someone's accent. It was unintentional and embarrassing :-)
But I understand that it is how our brains work when they try to find common communication to easier connect in social interactions.
I can't relate to this but I think it's pretty cool that you can immediately pick up someone's accent .
Thanks! It can be interesting sometimes, but certain people take it the wrong way. That can be a little awkward!
This is such an interesting post!! And can relate in such a massive way! I had no idea that there was such a thing as empaths and I’m so relieved to see that I’m not the only one who feels like this!
I have always felt like I pick up on people’s emotions very quickly and sometimes feel people’s pain when they are hurt, angry or upset, and I deffinatley pick up on people’s accents to hehe I just thought it was just me! I would love to know what the Facebook groups are called I would love to join??
Thank you for posting this it was a great read xx