hello
Congratulation , it seems easy to read , there were some grammatical errors like after "Riana is my classmate ."shee"" , also i think it would be better if you explain more details so the reader doesn't distract from it and get deep in your text , after all i think you would be a good writer ;)
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Thank you for the suggestion. And sorry if there's a grammatical error. I'm not a native english speaker so I'm trying my best for it :)
You can posted in your native korea language
you will get much more upvotes