Diya and Aahan were married for five years, their's was a love marriage, love which lasted since childhood. Life was not same after marriage for both. It often lead to misunderstandings, cryings which took Diya into almost depression. They pointed fingers at each other whenever there was a quarrel between them. Aahan, it was you who started first, Diya, mind you... It was you, who started. Please, shut up and get me some tea, can't you see I have just come home after a tiring day at office, says Aahan almost frustrated. Go and make tea for yourself Aahan.
She goes off to balcony to watch tiny tots playing happily around ignoring to make his tea!
How good was our life just three years back, those talks, night out dinings, late night shoppings which ended to long drives. We were very happy those days. Am I the only one who sees this gap in our relationship? Those were the days when you used to make tea for me which I would relish for again and again. But, now you seem like it has all become a routine for you and that you never love me. Both are like robo's. We have everything, none of the materialistic is missing in our home but we know we are not happy, no peace of mind, said Diya and ended as there was no response from Aahan, he stood still watching her. He was fed up of arguing with her. So, he had decided to stay quiet. To say, to show to the outer world, they had everything, a big house, perhaps own or rented, a car and many more things.
They have been married for five years and have known to each other since childhood. They have had everything in their life, all materialistic things, they enjoyed outings, romance, etc etc as any other newly wed couple. She is very sure about what she has and were they had gone for outings. But, the thing, she is not sure of is that the gap in their happy relationship which Diya asks Aahan about. Aahan is again silent and tries to calm down her.
Diya and Aahan were my office colleagues whom everyone else was jealous of as they never missed a first show of the newly released movie, their anniversaries, birthday's, valentine's day and many more! But, I knew them closer than others. I was Diya's close friend. When things went hard, difficult to handle, she came to me with the things which were disturbing her and I had an answer for her and many might go with me reading this article.
The gap, she has been confused of, the misunderstandings which lead to chaos in their families, lack of happiness, etc., is that gap of UNDERSTANDING between eachother that lacked in both and they never sat together to speak off.
A marriage, whether, love or arranged is very happy in the starting days because many do not know each other, each other's likes and dislikes. They do speak and chat on phones but they do not have healthy conversations nor do they bother to have. The talks might lasts more than two hours but you know nothing in close about him or her by nature. You do not know if either of the partner would take care when you fall ill, you do not know if your husband supports you giving you your pocket expenses, you do not know if he can cook food someday, atleast if you are tired returning home from office. Instead of knowing these important things for a better marriage life, you both end up talking either in a deep romantic conversation or speak something which is not at all relevant or just anything that doesn't matter in case of arranged marriages. In case of love marriages, college love is entirely different from marriage. When you two stay together, share one house, then you know better than me, writing this article.
You should be talking of something now like how is your family, does your parents support me? Are they adjustable? What do you suggest me, how should I be? I won't change, is this ok? Speak up, share your thoughts frankly. Frankness shouldn't only be in going out, asking for a movie but that same frankness should lie in life's seriousness. You are matured to an extent. Maturity is not when you speak big things but ities in understanding small things. You both would be staying for a life time. I am not judging you when I say not to go out but you should prioritize, with experience you learn which are things important and which aren't. If you spend money on the things you do not need, you will not have money to buy for the things you need.
You shouldn't be speaking about that lust, new restaurant which has been on the news, new movie always but you should be speaking about future savings, do you own a bank account in which he transfers you money with love for the things you want to buy. Do not crib on the same argument for three years, matter becomes worser than becoming better, I told Diya. I am sure she understood the truth behind my words because she knew about my life and the challenges I had faced.
I suggest every reader of this post to have a conversation with your husband or vice versa, understand each other, he or she is your best friend. Even those romantic nights, drives, do not know the reason behind your quarrels. Love your partner, stop fights. Many a times, we are fed up with life after marriage, we even feel to quit and go away but our inner mind or heart, what ever doesn't allow us to depart.
We stay, think for a while, give a chance, may be second, third, by this time we learn patience. Marriage teaches us with many lessons that we learn to know the importance of the word understanding without giving it an another chance for being taken it for granted.