Oh yeah, that was the worst part of dealing with parents in the schools where I taught. If a kid got a bad grade, the parent was always asking questions like, "Why didn't you tell me he was having trouble in this class?," or "Why didn't you tell me he wasn't turning in his homework?"
The thing was, I DID tell them those things, at parent/teacher conferences (man, I hated those), in notes I sent home that they were supposed to sign, and even in the graded papers themselves, where parents could clearly see their child wasn't making good grades. It seems what they wanted me to do was tell them EVERY time the kid made less than a C on an assignment or didn't turn something in, not just let them know a few times a grading period that there was an issue. With everything else a teacher has to do, there's just not time to handhold the parents, too.
I have heard those stories from my peers that taught in more affluent schools. So I may have had more discipline issues, but parents were usually on my side.
Having the parents on board would have made a huge difference for me. They just made a challenging job even harder, and took away a lot of the enjoyment I might have otherwise gotten from it. When the parents stayed out of things, which they hardly ever did, I had a lot more fun teaching. In a way, I guess, you're lucky.
I think that is very true. Once you get past year three things get much easier. The problem that time starts over for even experienced teachers. So 20 year vets are at year 1 when they walk into an inner-city classroom for the first time.