Goodbye Ugly Face Hot Tortoises
by The Invisible Man
by The Invisible Man
Dear ugly face,
To me, you are like a very hot tortoises and I'm not sure that I need a very hot tortoises in my life right now.
Things started to go wrong when I caught you kicking with my husband.
It's not that I don't love you. It's just that your uncle is extremely killer and your sister-in-law is, without a doubt, the most fiery person I've ever known.
It's true, we've had some terrifying times working together. You have eyes like tall carrots and the most scrummy smile I've ever seen.
Your personality is like a really sexy shark eating into my skull. When I see you running it makes me want to steal your carrot eyes and post them to sun.
I lie in bed at night wishing you were a scuba diving instructor and not a tortoises who likes kicking with my husband.
What I'm trying to say, is take your scrummy smile and go.
Yours no more
Private Dick
Thanks for reading,
The Invisible Man
@theinvisibleman
really it's so tragic..
I know... I'll miss his scrummy smile :(