This page is likely to be a little bit different than the rest of the internet.
First, here's the screenshot proof that I actually have 2001 followers here on Steemit, as is suggested in the title:
The Milestone Post
This is the milestone post which goes out to all of my 2001 followers, and is an example of what can be expected by following this @therealpaul page.
When I saw that I had reached 1999 followers, I tried to think of some way to celebrate, and a way to welcome Follower number 2000 (F2K) to the page, but then someone unfollowed me, which was followed by two new followers who put the number of followers at 2001.
Math like that is dull, and certainly not very entertaining. As the followee, I became bored with the whole '1999 Followers' idea, the significance of F2K dropped dramatically after that, and I was stuck with this '2001 Followers' post.
It's a variety and entertainment page, so this post will be a variety and entertainment post, naturally.
The Odyssey Part of the Post
The little flying saucer depicted above is not as small as it may appear. It may look rather toylike to us, but for the little craft's occupants, the world became much bigger for them when they came to tour my garden here on the Earth's surface a few weeks ago.
This difference in scale is something that I'm familiar with, because I had once been on a similar tour, in a similar craft.
For a small fee, a dozen tourists and I were once taken to a world where things were gigantic. Upon our entrance to the giant gardens, the pilots of the craft had steered us up close to these towering patches of massive irises touched by the last of a golden light. We hovered there, and of course we all clamored around the viewing ports with our cameras, hoping to capture the enchantment of the massive pedals in the afternoon light:
We had found a giant's house, and while we were hovering next to the giant's window trying to see inside, I took these pictures out of one of the viewports from the sunny side of the ship. Tree frogs-- massive things-- waiting for something small to fly past their perch. Thankfully our little disc craft was too big for them to attack.
Our pilots had seen them too, and we eased away from the creatures, only to find an even more dangerous one.
It turns out that these giants have bicycles, and it turns out that their giant cats are just as ridiculous as our little house cats.
I had expected a different world
I thought things were going to be alien and strange, but the giants were obviously just like us, only bigger.
I had expected some weird and wild in the giant's world, but their world was just large, and not that weird.
You want weird?
I'm pretty sure some of my 2001 followers like the weird stuff. Those dusty pages from the Library of Unusual Twists, those odd scenarios that won't resolve quite right, yet seem true and real-- the trippy stuff.
The Screaming Chandelier
There is the tale of the Screaming Chandelier, the time when I found myself on a walking tour through the mind of a haunted man. The place was certainly creepy, a twisted mansion where the guide insisted that we not look at the ceiling, and so of course we all looked at the ceiling while we walked.
There was a long hallway, and at first the creaking floor below us went unnoticed, but then there was a groan that everyone heard.
We all looked at the floor at once, and our guide turned around and fought his way back past us, a look of horror on his face, and a mortal urgency in his gait as he fled.
SHHHH!!!
We were quiet, but a loud shushing sound was coming from around my ankles. "Shhh!" the floor was saying, even though we hadn't spoken a word. Of course, several people started talking then, and one lady loudly suggested that she wanted her money back for the tour.
"I came to see the Screaming Chandelier, not a 'shushing' floor!"
What a strange lady. I was surprised that she would come into the mind of a haunted man with any expectations at all. As for a refund, I don't think anyone should have expected to ever see that guide again, even though we weren't sure what had spooked him so.
The lady puffed, then she turned from the shushing-carpeted hallway and stepped haughtily into the nearby dining room. The floor around us suddenly got quiet, and we heard a short yelp.
I leaned in the doorway to see what she was yelping about, and couldn't believe what I was seeing. The dining table had stood upright and, with a wooden ptooie had spit out it's center leaf, whereupon it began to dine on the unhappy lady.
For a visual reference, just imagine a wooden dining table eating someone. Hopefully you'll have trouble imagining such a horrific scene, and I don't think I ever would have dreamed of such a thing if I hadn't seen it for myself, with my own eyes.
We never did see the Screaming Chandelier, but I felt like it was a pretty good tour. Later, I think I understood the demented humor of the haunted man; it was a dining table. The humor was dark, but yeah, kinda funny in a way I guess.
How I Usually End These Things
My original 1999 followers know how it works around here by now; I'll make elaborate posts where I share my ideas about how to create a whole new world for ourselves, and then in another post I'll ruin my own credibility with some nonsensical humor and silliness.
Anyway, these are some of my favorite kinds of posts to do, and this one even has some variety in it; stories, photography, nature, and life, all in one Steemit blog.
I try to answer all of the comments below these posts eventually, and if I miss yours and you feel like it was overlooked, let me know and I'll get caught up.
I don't know what else to do with this milestone post. If you've read this far, I'll give 100% upvotes to a limited amount of 'knock-knock' jokes in the comments below, so get one ready and say 'knock knock' down below just for the fun of it. You know how it works: for example, if I say 'knock knock', you say 'who's there?', I might say 'orange', then you say 'orange who?', and finally I say 'orange you glad you read all the way to the end?'
Thanks for looking in!
all images above are mine, 2018, taken with Canon Rebel. Artwork is mine, watercolor on canvas, 2006, and the stories were all made up by me, for my 2001-ish followers
click @therealpaul for more
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What you call weird, I call eclectic ;) After 18 months here, your very eclectic blog is still one of my favorite places in this world to visit-- and how how I can't wait to visit the source of it!
Knock Knock?
Who's There?
Europe.
Europe who?
No I'm not!
hee
Thank you, your words help keep me going, and I appreciate it. I like the word eclectic, I can do that, while I am often ready to step in if some plain weirdness is required for any reason.
hah! That is a quality knock knock joke! I like how you did the whole routine so you wouldn't have to wait three days for me to say 'Europe who?' ;) Thanks for playing, and yes I can say, see you later...
Agreed!
Well I hope I am in the limited number. Not that I am greedy, but your vote will take me closer to leveling up.
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
No need to cry about it the easter bunny will be back next year.
I know old, but really the only one I could remember. I tried to think of the unique rabbit one, but I was not sure it was a knock knock joke. I think it was just a silly joke, "how do you catch a unique rabbit? You sneak up on it." see silly joke. any way been sitting at 56.74-56.75 range for a little bit, hoping to see it go to 65.8 range soon.
Strange and different, is strange and different, I still drop by every now and then, and since I am here have you started on book cover number three for any one we know lately? I guess I should just pop over and ask her, but I don't like bothering the writers about where is it, when will we get it, type questions.
That was a good old one! I don't know if there are any new knock knock jokes anyway, so old is perfect.
I am the same way, I haven't asked when or if I am to start on another illustration, but I think I'll know more after June; that someone we know is coming through my town soon for a visit!
That's good to know. Gotta know what happened to Michael, and Jared, and anna and all of the crowd, the three brothers, Guess it is just wait and see. I am a patient person, well I have learned to be one.
Edit:
I forgot, thank you from 56.751 to 56.763, Thank you for that helpful boost up the fish ladder.
That's cool about the boost, I didn't know I could be so helpful, but I knew this knock knock bit was a good idea!
A lot of people don't read the whole post, I figure if I am going to vote and comment then I read the whole thing, and most of the time all the comments too before commenting myself, (I hate sounding like a parrot), I don't like saying the same as someone else. It takes time, especially some of those witness one with 200 plus comments, sometimes I don't get through all the comments, and end up making 3 or 4 comments on comments before I get around to my own comment. But some of those comments can be pretty interesting.
knock, knock.
Who's there"
Tank.
Tank Who.
You're Welcome!
Ah, the classics!
Hearty congrats friend,you have successfuly avhive the milestone of 2000 followers.I know your multitalented personality will bring you to the highest level.wish you a very beautiful day,knock,knock.
Thank you for the compliment, I'm glad to be here with you.
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
You are not only an orange but also an apple too,haha.sorry joking .
You are weird and if we like and follow you it is because after all we are also a little bit weird too. I like that you write crappy jokes, music videos, gardening...
But... Hey! Who gives the smallest fuck what we are labelled by?
At your place I would finish that watercolor from 2006.
Otherwise it will haunt you FOR EVER from now on.
Done.
(I hope I will reach some half of your subscribers at some point some time...)
I'll have to make a post just for you, just a little bit weird, with some gardening and maybe a crappy joke music video all in one.
That watercolor, it was such a cold somber scene that I made it from, I'm not sure if it's finished or not, but there was some color and joy there too, that I may have overlooked at the time...
and some erotic/porn amatorial video in it. Come on, I'm sure that you recorded some, when you were younger ;)
You're funny-- we didn't have cameras back then, we had to memorize everything, in detail.
CONGRATULATION
You got 2001 flowers as a great steemian
At least 2001 flowers! Thanks!
Firstly, congrats I the 2001 followers! I was going to places a cute little knock knock joke here, but you said you may take a while to answer the door so i have an upvote for you instead!!! Love the story/ blog/ post!
Thanks! I'm hanging around the door here for a little bit, since I invited everyone to knock knock on it.
Lol you got me there!! I enjoyed your creativity for sure!!!
Hive
Vote
nice nature photography...
Thank you for looking in!
most welcome :
I am your 2013 follower and am human. Good to come across your post and I must say that you have got a cool collections of beautiful pictures. Continue with your good work and sure the sky is your limit. Learning to grow like you.
It is difficult to get a lot of flowers on steemit. You did it. I support you and your all flowers support you. The good time in front you.
I appreciate it, and all of the flowery support.
beautiful photography
Thank you for looking in!
Yes we love weird!!! Well done man!!!
You've come to the right place then! Thanks.
Congratulations on this huge milestone many more to come and some great value you have added to the steemit with your unique content always which is not an easy task for sure always loved reading it and some awesome shots too today :)
Cheers :)
Thanks for looking in, I appreciate you being here with me.
I really enjoyed this post! It was like taking a tour of your imagination through several different mediums. I would like to take the tour of the giants realm, though not so much through the haunted man's mind lol.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ida
Ida who?
Ida rather not attempt making up anymore knock knock jokes! ;) (As you can see I'm not very good at it lol.)
Haha! Good one!
Thanks! Thank you very much for the upvotes as well!!
Congratulations! Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ice cream
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don't let me in!
Congratulation
the photography is beautiful
your photography is amazing.... those photos are looking awesome because of your skillful hand... great capture...
Thanks for commenting. Give the post a little upvote too, get some curation rewards, and comment upvotes from me if you like.
Congratulation for having 2001 followers. 'Knock Knock'
Who's there?
wow very excellent post Thanks for sharing i will done upvote.
@faisal79 - You may not realize that "excellent post","post thanks for","post thanks for sharing","thanks for sharing","very excellent post","wow very","wow very excellent","i will done upvote" is considered to be spam, you used 42 similar phrases in your last 100 comments, I've replied to you 2 times before, you've received 7 flags, and the Steem Sincerity API shows a 70.60% spam score. Learn why this is spam and a few better ways to earn the support of the community when commenting.
@therealpaul - You can remove this comment and everyone can whitelist me from appearing in future posts.
Congratulation dear friend @therealpaul on reaching 2001 flowers. Wish you continued success. Support me to dear friend.
Congrats. I am nearing 3k on Steemit myself, I have to think out some nuisance to post as gratitude post very soon, lol.
It's required by law, such milestone posts! Congratulations on the near 3k, that is destined to be an epic nuisance post!