I’ve carried around a lot of destructive guilt most of my life. Spent too much time feeling inadequate; immature, uneducated, unfit, unworthy, unproductive.
I could look like a complete failure if you see certain aspects. I sold my failing business for just enough to pay off its debts. I divorced after 25 years of marriage. An interesting side effect of divorce- you tend to lose family and friends along with your ex-wife. I’m digging my way back out of debt (again). Back to coaching full time, working for someone else after having owned a gym for 14 years.
Yet somehow I’ve managed to live most of my life as an entrepreneur. I have three wonderful adult children. An inner circle of trusted and loved friends. A handful of people who find my writing interesting enough to take the time to read it. Training clients who are making strides every day at a job where I feel valued. My soon-to-be wife is amazing, and she sees something good in me.
When I look at where I am, the relationships I have, and the opportunities that lay ahead- I look very successful.
I wonder. Is there even such a thing as successful or unsuccessful?
If you took someone’s name out of the equation and listed all their shortcomings, perhaps any one of us would look like a loser. If we dig for the less obvious virtues, values, and fulfilling relationships, could we all be winners?
Absolutes are dangerous. We aren’t all one thing or another.
The most successful among us have their shortcomings. And perhaps people who do evil things, are otherwise decent people, doing the best they can with what they have.
I have no idea. I continue to work to know myself. How could I possibly know the hearts and minds of everyone else?
Lucky for us; we get to define our own success however we want.
I’ve learned this. Failing doesn’t make one a failure. Winning doesn’t make one successful. If we take in the whole breadth of our life, the complete grand symphony from beginning to end, we might find the failures and the wins coming in waves. Like every single breath we take.
Drawing in.
Falling out.
Always coming in pairs. Never one without the other.
Breathe in failure, take the lessons.
Breathe out the toxic, and thrive on the oxygen that was harvested.
breathe
I'm publishing a book in February. In it, I discuss my life transformation over the past two years and the habits that have set me up for the happiest year of my life.
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My name is Cody Limbaugh. If you liked this, you might also like my other content.
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Live All Your Life is a project of discovery. My aim is to live with intention, to get the most out of life, and to share my discoveries with you.
Providing value is important to me, so I often write about techniques that I've found to work well in my life.
I think having rich experiences is a critical component of living well, so I often share my travels.
It's important to me to develop a deep sense of curiosity and relentless personal development, so I also write about learning and various topics and skills that I'm currently working on.
I've been a fitness coach for the past 13 years. I now write for three fitness sites.
I believe that authenticity is critical to living a good life, so I strive to rise above cultural norms and expectations.
Excellent stuff! I absolutely agree that absolutes are dangerous! We miss so much when we allow ourselves to be put in a box. Glad to see you putting out more good info!
Thanks, Mike. I'm happy to be writing again. The book coming out next month has really been a great way to engage and focus.
Thanks for your support- as always!