I'm really sorry about this. I can get a glimpse of your suffering, @alexbeyman because I can imagine what kind of torture you're putting yourself through right now. I have a similar, but less intense kind of remorse going about in my mind. I had wanted to co-create a book with Laura, and of course now that is off the table forever.
This is also very disturbing to me personally because when Laura was being sexually harassed on here, I was the one who ended up protecting her, and fighting to get the mute button. It was particularly nasty what she went through at that time. The other personal reason this is disturbing is because Laura joined Steemit because of Kaylinart, who joined because of me. Kaylin and I were in the Choose Yourself facebook group, where I posted incessenantly about Steemit in 2016. Laura and I are connected in that way, as the string of friendship.
I did not do enough clearly. I should have done more as I am quite familiar with suicide. The particular mode of suicide, hanging, is equally disturbing since my own father hung himself.....but luckily, ended up surviving due to the belt buckle breaking during mid-hang. Two of my cousins also killed themselves, and I have had my own moments and years of seriously contemplating "the end". The Bell Jar is never too far away from a desperate mind.
This a tragedy of abuse, at its core, and it's also a lesson, wake up call and a way to think more deeply about the purpose of life.
Tragically, I had picked out her artistic Steemit design, and @road2wisdom is in the middle of getting that art printed on shirts and mugs. I think Laura would have wanted that, so we can remember her in that way.
If you ever want to talk about this, Alex, I'm probably the one who will most be able to relate, since I am familiar with suicide.
My biggest regret: Laura drew my avatar but I never drew hers.
I hope she didn't have pain any more.
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Take heart. Life is for the living, lessons must be learnt and forward movement inevitable.
@stellabelle : please don't blame yourself. I was close with her, too. I'm sure many of us are thinking we could have done or said more, but she has been at it for a while and in a lot of pain. The doctors could not fix her, and neither could we. As much as we might try. I know she valued every one in her life that gave a damn. Her family, the people that were supposed to be closest to her, failed her. Not us.