Episode III: THE TRAFALMADORIANS 
Been a effin couple of days. I couldn't even post on steemit, even though I had couple of photographs prepared. I finally found something that had been taking a truckload of my time, and I didnt mind. It was something I was willing to sink my teeth into.
But that didn't last.
So I here I am, stuck in the middle way, finding myself bored again. And that's when I thought, hey why not write something for the blog.
Loud
I've been so loud in my head lately, feeling utterly tempted to share stuffs. I don't think there's anything wrong with this other than the fact that I just don't like to, and whenever I get the urge I feel strongly that I'm somehow going against myself.
Like it's not genuine, you know, but merely a product of all the shits happening all over.
I fight it sometimes, sometimes I don't. It's probably not too important in the scheme of things.
But I feel like I'm in such a perilous place now where nothing of mine is even remotely stable. Not even my thoughts. And so whenever I find something even partially in the semblance of stability; something that promises, no matter how vaguely, that it would last, I get excited.
And then it also gets taken away.
Either by the instability of my own mind or by external forces or both. And when that happens it just causes a domino effect and every other thing, erstwhile propped up by others, come falling down too.
It's not a big deal or whatever. It's just a pattern I've found. I have to admit too that it's probably not going to end anytime soon. I used to sort of anticipate the time it will. But I've found that the anticipation itself is part of the problem.
I gotta admit and be at peace with the fact that it may be like this for a long time. Learn not to begrudge a thing. Learn to be like the trafalmadorians.
Who are the Trafalmadorians, you ask?
They are a group of advanced race in Kurt Vonnegut's novels who when face with a thing beyond their control (and there are very little things beyond their control) like, say, death, they respond by saying, "so it goes." and continue with their businesses.
So it goes.
Check out this place on the internet where things on love are written about: Nubian Lovebirds.
I feel like this too but let's just row our boats okay :( Soon enough we'll find some stable shit for us xD
Ikr! Cheers to rowing boats 🍻🍻🍻🍾🍷
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So it goes.
There's a kind of peace in the Trafalmadorians' way. Maybe a bit too resigned, but peace nonetheless. I hope you will be able to sort your thoughts out, but I think it is best not to force it. Sometimes thoughts are like turbulent waters, only time can calm them.
And now I wanna read more Vonnegut...
Right?
Some accuse them of being fatalistic, but I think it goes deeper than that. I mean they dont just say 'so it goes' to all thing. Only things genuinely out of their control.
And for powerful beings like that to say so it goes to anything at all, one imagine must be very hard for them to. But true strength is as much knowing how to let things go as it is holding on to things. And this is something Vonnegut knows too well -- that the trick is in the balance.
Exactly! Merci, sensei spoder -- as always.
Ikr!!! I always want to read more Vonngeut. But time. Time!!!!!!!!!!