"Self acceptance is paramount" was a phrase that came to me while meditating once. Thank you for posting this. It was very informative. Your life can begin again today and slowly distance yourself from the nastier stuff from the past. DTube has zero censorship, so you can pretty much do what you like. Thank you for sharing. It's often difficult to talk about the darker aspects of our past. I only came across your account a few days ago, but I can see you're a pretty decent person.
There's a tv show called Red Dwarf. It's a British Scifi comedy. In it, there's an episode called Dimension Jump, in which it's revealed that there's a parallel universe version of one of the main characters who is usually very self serving and cowardly. The parallel version is called 'Ace Rimmer' and is a winner in every sense of the word. To me, it's someone I can invoke when I want to raise my spirits or bring out the best in myself.
Do you have a higher self / role model you invoke to help you when you need a little boost?
Thank you, I just imagine my higher self and am slowly getting more attuned to angelic/spiritual guidance. I don't know the different archangels yet. But I am learning to communicate currently!!! Luckily I am to the point where I can draw power from almost any experience I went through...not easy and working through lots still. But the power of the mind...and habits...are something I definitely am excited to dive into. Sometimes I simply channel ecstatic energy through my body...I can notice an effect in others around me even when I do this especially tantric energy work. But start breathing very deep, clenching body muscles, and imagining ecstatic clear fast energy rushing through you and out hands if using them(especially on self)..currently practicing doing this to myself. Kinda easier to do most acts of kindness to other people rather than ourselves..<3
I think there can be a danger in delving too deeply into one's darker aspects of the past, but I also know that in order for there to be any real change / healing, those aspects need to be dealt with. The removal of self blame for things outside of your control. Forgiveness for things that you knew you could make better choices, but didn't. Acceptance of it all, and your whole self.
But self kindness is the best kind of kindness. If you are broke, you are not in a position to help others.
If your needs are met, then you can help others. But this comes with caveats and limits too. Help others to help themselves.