taken from source and recompiled.
我昨天忘记抱堡我妈。
Tian Tian问我为什么没有抱婆婆。
我常叫孩子去抱公公婆婆，自己却没有。
Yesterday, I forgot to hug my mom.
Tian Tian asked me, why I did not hug grandma (when we left for capital city)
I always ask my kids to hug their grand parents, but I didn't do it myself
These were the words posted by my childhood friend when we were talking about how horrible the jam was yesterday on the way back to the central city.
Asians tend to have this culture that in the reverence and respect to our elderly, physical touch is hardly encouraged and a respectful distance is always maintained.
Most Asian parents do not have the habit of expressing love and physical touch to their children, but they have forgotten that when their offspring were mere toddlers, they used to express their love and attention with hugs and kisses.
These usually seen to grand parents when they tend to their little toddler grandchildren as well.
But the behaviour tend to change as the child grows up.
Why has this happened?
Perhaps they think that if there give too many hugs they tend to spoil the child and every child needs to learn to be independent facing the harsh realistic world.
Or perhaps worries and stress drown them as they secretly harness mix feelings of happiness and worry as they see their children grow.
I remembered when I was very little there were parental love always, but as I grew up and many things happened in my life with loads of scars in my past, this gradually came to a halt.
It all started again when I went to Australia and (somewhat) adopted the hugging culture from my European uni-mates when I studied there.
And when I came back from Australia, the first thing I did when I saw my family members I gave them the biggest bear hug I can master.
I still vividly remembered my parents' awkward surprised (yet delighted) faces. Maybe that brought them fond memories when they first had me as a baby.
I read somewhere in psychology studies physical touch speaks louder than words. A warm and tender caring touch gives comfort while the opposite abusive touch brings fear.
And personally I observed as our parents grow older and seeing us spreading our wings they still remembered us as toddlers in their arms; yet they are unable to express that covering love they once used to shower us plenty just because they think we are too independent to be approached.
And those of us who have married with kids, tend to ask our own kids to represent us to shower love to our parents, which still works; yet a hug from their own flesh and blood tend to speak even more powerfully because it is, simply said, their own flesh and blood.
In the book of Psalms the Bible portrays God's parental love like the "hen" (as layman's visualisation) the hovers her chicks under her wings:
How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings.
Psalm 36:7
The wings, kanaph (in Hebrew) speaks of great covering that depicts protection.
And when our parents used to give us hugs when we have the feeling of protected.
So how about doing the reversed role this time?
When we give hugs to our elderly I personally feel that we are giving them the assurance that they are still remembered and cherished, that they are not being discard like old furniture waiting to rot in time.
Have you given a bear hug to your parent(s) / elderly today?
Let's make it a trend!
See how many steem-ian out there (especially those who has never done this before) is inspired to see the reactions of their parent(s) / elderly when they do so.
Share your experience with #bearhugaparent hash-tag today and who knows, you might get an upvote / resteem from me and many others too!
中文翻解
我昨天忘记抱堡我妈。
Tian Tian问我为什么没有抱婆婆。
我常叫孩子去抱公公婆婆，自己却没有。
这些是我和儿时的朋友在谈论在返回中心城市的可怕漫长路程，和问起父母时所突然发布的文字。
亚洲人倾向于拥有这种文化，在崇敬和尊敬我们的老年人的过程中，几乎不鼓励身体接触，始终保持尊重的距离。
大多数亚洲父母没有习惯用身体接触表达爱待他们的孩子，但他们忘记了当他们的儿女只是幼儿时，其实他们习惯用拥抱和亲吻来表达他们的爱和关注。
通常爷爷奶奶也会经常用拥抱爱待子孙。
但是孩子们渐渐长大时，态度就开始疏远。
为何是如此呢？
也许他们认为，如果拥抱太多，他们往往会宠坏孩子，对他们来说每个孩子都需要学会独立面对严酷的现实世界。
或者担心和压力埋没了他们对孩子们的爱待，只能静静地带着喜乐和担忧的复杂心情看着自己的孩子成长。
记得当我年少时有父母的爱待，但随着时间，生活改变，人生中带入过去的伤痕，这爱待于关怀的习惯渐渐停顿了。
直到当我去澳大利亚时，在欧洲大学友重新适应用拥抱和爱待话语文化。
而当我到达机场的那一刻，我第一件事就是给我父母最大的熊熊偎抱。
他们当时又惊又乐的表情我还牢牢记得很清楚呢！可能带来了久久遗溜的孩时记忆呢。
我在某处心理学研究报告中曾经读到身体接触比言语表达得更响亮。 一个温暖和温柔的关怀抚慰会带来安慰，而相反的虐待感会带来恐惧。
我亲自感应到，随着我们的父母年龄的增长，虽看到我们已展翅飞翔，但他们依然记得我们是他们怀里的幼儿; 可惜他们无法表达这种涵盖爱情的感觉，因为他们认为我们太独立而无法接近他们曾经用来给我们带来丰富的爱。
我们这代已经结婚生子的人倾向于要求我们自己的孩子代表我们向我们的父母献出爱，这仍然有效; 但是从他们自己的血肉之躯中拥抱，往往更有说服力，因为简单地说，我们此终就是他们的亲生骨肉。
在“诗篇”一书中，圣经描绘了上帝的爱情 - 就像“母鸡”一样（作为外行人的形象化），她的小鸡徘徊在她的翅膀下：
上帝啊，你的慈爱多么可贵！ 人的儿女躲在你的翅膀的荫下。
**诗篇36：7 **
翅膀kanaph（希伯来语）讲述了描绘保护的巨大覆盖。
当我们的父母在我们拥抱时我们有受保护的感觉。
那么这次做倒转角色怎么样？
当我们给老年人拥抱时，我个人觉得我们正在给他们保证，他们仍然被铭记和珍惜，他们没有像旧家具一样被抛弃等待时间腐烂。
你今天是否给你的父母/老人一个[熊熊]的拥抱呢？
不如我们把它成为一个趋势！
看看那里有多少人（尤其是那些从未这样做过的人）会受到启发而敢敢地来个大熊熊拥抱，看看他们的父母/老年人有怎样的反应。
今天就用#bearhugaparent散列标签分享您的体验，您可能会得到一个赞哦！
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I assume you are right that hugging the elderly in your culture is honoring them, but of course you should ask permission as you move in! Great post.
of course you should ask for permission. Lol @authorfriendly
In Asia, hugging is not a culture at all (Asian children maintains a distance in honouring their parents and seniors) but it has been westernised for a more positive move to strengthen ties between children and parents.
I would not suggest anyone to randomly hug people they do not know, that is for sure!
Thank you so much for stopping by!
thank you @littlenewthings for sharing this topic! my aunt mentioned before so envy to see other hug their parent when they leaving for somewhere, so i gave hera hug when i met her in KL last month. but to my parent, frankly speaking we really shy to do it!
Glad you like this topic @janicechua
Maybe your parents though shy, they are probably feeling the same as your aunt. I know my parents never asked for that, but after a term away abroad and not seeing my parents, I have decided to give them a big hug.
Now every time when I leave home and come back to work in KL they will always wait for a hug from me before I go into the car.
The older they get, the more they will cherish these last moments in their minds of us. Let's give them something to bring along in their golden journey.
Thank you so much for making time and visiting this post!
yes! thank you for sharing! happy chu 8! planning to bring my parent for short visiting before they fly back to hometown and give them a hug too :)
This is certainly a good reminder for me @littlenewthings that no matter what culture we come from, hugging our loved ones is a sign that they are deeply loved and cherished by us. Will do that before I head back to KL
Do share that feeling with #bearhugaparent hash tag. I will definitely make time to go through!
It is important as they are growing old and becoming frail, they are more insecure than we think they are. They may put up a strong face so that we do not worry, but deep inside no one truly knows the other person's feelings, and not everyone is like Billy Graham who is very much ready to head Home.
Thank you so much for making time and contributing your priceless view!