These new age terms were new to me, until i joined a social app a little over a year ago. I got catfished, twice. The first time, I outsmarted the catfish. They (I assume they are a syndicate) weren't too keen to pay attention to details. The second time, I got hurt.
Now for those who are not familiar with this term, google is your best friend. Urban dictionary says "A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities..." for what reason? Varies, from trying to lure you into believing that they love you and then try to get your money, or as a revenge (this case, most likely the catfish is someone you know) to just trying to mess with other people's minds or lives.
The scammers and fraud syndicates are easy to identify. Just don't be naive and you'll see flaws and loop holes in the information they disclosed. Sometimes it's hard to get personal information even. The catfishes out for an "exploration" of fun, testing their new-found sexuality, or just being too messed up to have a normal social relationship in real life so they tried to be someone else online. Superheroes should be banned from comic books... these alter-ego concept is not very healthy for them sociopaths.
Let me share how this catfish caught me, and damaged me, yea, I'll explain the damages too. Let's call her Cheryl. Cheryl approached me on the app in the subtlest way. Most catfishes just send you a hi text and then proceed to tell you how rich they are and they will ask all about you without revealing too much about themselves. Cheryl liked my posts (like on FB), commented about a joke I posted. We then exchanged formalities briefly. I was always cautious with people I meet on the app, unless I've seen them on live shows. She fitted some qualities of a catfish, lots of pretty pictures, no posts, not much information revealed on the profile. But she wanted nothing from me, no talking about wanting to meet up, or asking me for money of that sort. So slowly I let my guards down. After about 2 months we begin to chat on daily basis. Though I always complain that she doesn't reveal herself too much, she did answer the questions I asked about her personal life. But I still had my doubts from time to time. Like why wouldn't she send me more pictures of her home town when she was home for Christmas. 4 months down the friendship, I told her I didn't want to be her friend anymore because she said she would disappear on me one day (hint of catfish). So I said if that's the case why bother to be friends in the first place. I walked away... and immediately regretted it. I was hooked. Hooked on her pleasant companionship, her making me feel like I mattered.
We made up, be friends again, and she was more willing to reveal her feelings, her troubles of the day etc. Then feelings grew, she did not reject me, nor did she discourage it. I was her experiment perhaps. But despite the strong feelings, our chats reduced. I knew she would leave some day. Then one day out of the blue, she dropped the bomb. She said she's deleting the app and would go away for good. I did not stop her, wished her the best of luck. I even told her our paths would never cross again, so I gave her my best. In short, we parted well.
So, question now is, how much damage was there? I thought I was taking it well too. That afternoon, I was crying on and off. Then the days after that. Then weeks, then months... ok, I'm not crying continuously, I was still a fully functional person, except when I'm alone, or anything that triggers the thoughts of Cheryl. 2 months later I emailed her. I was holding back really hard, but I wanted a closure. 3 days later she emailed me back, said she was expecting to hear from me, and then she proceeded to tell me the truth. That the pictures were a friend of her's. Then all information about her was her friend's. And that she didn't realize things would get so far with us... that she felt it wasn't fair for her friend and me, that she was sorry for leading me on, playing with my feelings. Then she said goodbye.
Now, I do not blame Cheryl. It takes 2 to tango. I allowed myself to it, I let my guards down. The damages? Hell broke loose since April, since then I have stopped crying. But I still find myself thinking about her from time to time. Not her pictures, the things we talked about, her replies, reactions to my comments etc. I sometimes would think up of excuses of her revealing her catfish identity, she asked me to write a story about us before all this happened, i'm stuck now. I would think of a thousand "what-ifs". I know, these were just manifestations of my own selfish yearns, that's why I said I never blamed her. And I know the damages were all self-inflicted.
I didn't blog to tell you what to look out for in catfishes, I blogged to tell you if you're like me, be sure to be extra cautious meeting new friends online. The damages could be worse than you imagined.
Great sharing ☺️ . There are a lot of scams or 'catfishes' out there and identifying one only gets more difficult as they get better
Yup, just gotta be careful
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STOPA strange world we live in... Tinder brings out the catfish that's for sure.. Be safe!
Thank you
In today digital era, everyone has option to create "multiple" identity online, and is very easy. So always be cautious. Cheer Up :)
thanks!
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STOP