I love to fly. It makes me feel so free and unattainable. Despite the fact I totally shit myself at the slightest hint of turbulence, it's something I really enjoy. The 13 hour flight from Malaysia to London is a chance to focus on myself, get lost in movies, read, make plans, sleep, reflect. All the things I don't usually make eenough time for.
Plane wings and pink skies - image via Pintrest
Who's idea was it to put wifi on planes!? I get that it's super convenient, especially for business folk, but for me that time is sacred and made for true escape. I mean you can't escape anymore than being thirty-something-thousand feet high, can you?
Yesterday I took the new A350 back to the UK. After 13 hours of relaxation, upon touching down at Heathrow airport, I finally felt ready to move back to the UK.
The last view of KL from my bed at my old apartment
The past few weeks have been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. Malaysia felt more like home than anywhere has for a long time. I've spent the last 2 and a half years setting up a business and living with my boyfriend for the first time. Having a life there together away from the world felt so peaceful and special. It's been a really happy, enjoyable experience and i've left that place with only the most fond memories of it. It was totally different to living in Singapore, not only culturally but also conducting business there. Malaysia changed the way I see the world and the way I see myself too. It made me slow down, take a step back and realise that anything is possible when you truly focus on it. Plus I joined steemit in Malaysia too and #teammamalaysia are some of the most awesome people i've met.
Moving countries is never an easy feat, especially when you've got a business to worry about too. This is the 4th time i've moved my life across oceans and perhaps the hardest move in some ways.
December 2011 (21 years old) - one way flight to Singapore
June 2014 (24 years old)) - one way flight back to London, UK
November 2015 (25 years old) - one way flight to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
May 2018 (28 years old) - one way flight back to London, UK
There's a pattern there.. move to Asia in winter, move home in summer! This time i'm determined to make the move last more than just a couple of years. I've got big plans for expanding my business in London so that is the motivation to keep me here.
Today i'm here to give some tips to those of you looking to make a big overseas move for a long period of time. Not so much for travellers, because I think that requires different knowledge, but more for expats looking to start a new life in a foreign country.
image via Pintrest
1. Take your time
Nothing will be seamlessly perfect when you first arrive in a new country, no matter how organised you are ahead of time. There are always obstacles, whether it be finding your apartment, getting your visa, understanding the train system or whatever it may be. Don't be hard on yourself or pressure yourself too much into making everything perfect immediately. Take the time to figure it out and don't rush through it.
2. Forget your old friends
It sounds harsh, but it's important to move forward once you have made the change and choice to move away. Spending a lot of your time thinking about what you left behind can be really unhealthy for your development. I've done it too and it's not easy. You kind of trap yourself because your mind is somewhere you physically aren't. My advice would be to make new friends and plunge yourself straight into your new world and surroundings. It may not feel completely the same with new friends, but you may find you have more in common than you do with your friends from home. I've found it easy to form solid relationships with expats super fast, because in just a few moments you'll find you have incredible amounts in common.
3. Expect nothing to be the same
Sometimes we find fear in the unknown, in that which we do not recognise. By changing our expectations and expecting nothing to be the same as what we have known before, we can find happiness in the things which we find to be the same. Finding home comforts can be a rare and beautiful experience if we flip our thinking.
4. Join local social media communities
Usually there are some expat forums on facebook, meet-up and other sites. It's worth joining these groups and communities in order to meet new friends, find out information about the area and just create a mini-community of people who actually know you are in that place. You never know when you could need a helping hand.
5. Expect to miss out
Going hand in hand with making new friends is 'expect to miss out'. That means weddings, babies, funerals, engagements and anything else which is life changing. It will happen and you won't be able to go home for every single event. Yes, you will miss some crucially important days, but you'll also make some life changing memories in your new place. My advice for trips home is go back when you absolutely need to and try and schedule it around any important life events.
My final advice is embrace it, enjoy it, be in the moment. Your new move may not last forever and when you look back on it, you will want to feel like you really lived it! It will change you and your life forever, I can promise you that.
Yasmine
Great tips Yasmine. Though it's not easy to leave old friends and family behind you are absolutely right about making new friends and being social!
Glad you agree, Amy! :-)
Hola Yasmine @yasminep I just read your post on Discord, I am following you, Great content.
I hope to see you at the next "London Coffee meetup".
Have an inspiring evening .
Rodolfo
Awesome! Thank you so much and happy you like it! When is the next meetup? I would love to join!
The last London Coffe Meetup was 2 days ago on Monday.
https://steemit.com/meetup/@rod.crisafulli/4pqtl666
next on 19th of May (picnic) organized by @ingaaa
and on 2dn of June organized by @allasyummyfood
Yes i'll be at both of those! :-) hope to see you there!
Great.
I got my ticket on Sat 2dn Jun!
I am ready and also... already hungry
Haha, you make me laugh @rod.crisafulli! Look forward to seeing you on the 19th AND the 2nd!
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Hey, good to know you're home safely, though home could easily meant Malaysia... :)
I thought point #2 is a great advice. My son William is personally going through that challenge, because we are moving end of next year too. He has grown attached to his current set of friends, and I try to encourage him to make new ones. Interestingly, it's also therapeutic for me, because deep down, I do miss the lost friendships. Lost not due to distance, for there is technology. But lost through a mismatch of beliefs.
Well, as they say, "friendshift". Change, after all, is the only constant.
Friendshift. Love that term. I hope William will adjust! I think in some ways it can be even harder when you're young.
Awesome .. May the smell of durians forever haunt you and the search for @zord189 begins. Haha .. Stay safe and see you in London when we get there
Hahaha durians! Wish I could have brought some durian perfume home for everyone to try.
I see you already got ur schedules up on meetups in London ey? :) That's awesome and definitely good to see you so pumped up for wat's ahead. Super excited for you.
It's all about the schedules ;-)
I know exactly how you feel because I have been in your situation... the smell of air, the taste of water, the little chores that you are used to, the greet from neighbour's pet, every thing is different....
I do not like farewell and hate when my relatives, family or friends go home after a visit... I am too emotionally attached even tough I am old enough to understand that it is fact of life....
Social and busy life is the fastest way to adopt your new life... thanks for making an effort to be with teammalaysia
In that case you know how it feels! It's strange, but also nice and familiar.
thank you for the tips. We are always moving too but its just within the city. I admire how resilient you are adjusting to new environments. I wish you all the best with your business in London:)
Even within the city it can sometimes feel like a huge adjustment. Thanks for the wishes and comment! :-)
Referring to your 'pattern' @yasminep
Yeap, that's a brilliant idea. Always good to have you back here anytime! Please know that this is your other home too, especially when winter's treating you harshly ;p
Same goes for you too, @deborism :-) you're always welcome wherever I am
Have a great trip back home! I wish you all the best in your expanding projects in London.
Great tips you have given there. I am going to resteem this article since I think many steemians would appreciate your insight :)
Thanks so much lovely! You're due soon aren't you?
Yup! In the next weeks! :)
So so exciting!!! Really wishing you all the best of luck with everything @jessicapixie
I 100% agree with you about the plane journey being your sacred time. Literally for ALL the things you never have time to do!
And these are good tips, especially joining a few communities on Facebook etc. I kind of wish I immersed myself fully into Berlin life and travelled less to the UK now but hey, guess at the time my relationship was pretty high up on the priority list ;-)
Yeah I get that. I feel like that a little about Singapore actually.