We live in a remarkable world, there is a frantic pace of progress in so many spheres. Areas such as technology, medicine, agriculture, military and primarily in information. Progress is exponential, this means the rate of progress is accelerating.
Traditional structures are under threat due to the increasing flux that our society finds itself in. Gone are the days when a person can hope to work for a single company their entire careers, then to retire to a good pension to live out the rest of their lives. As the corporates say, if you want loyalty, get a dog.
I started my career thinking the traditional way but in order to survive I have had to employ other skills.
So there is a strong drive for the individual to adapt in order to survive. Skills required must include being able to rise to changing circumstances, abilities must have a great deal of entrepreneurial skills and the ability to be independent. Schooling from what I have seen in South Africa, still aims the student towards obtaining further tertiary education at institutions like universities. This is a great shame as here there will be “too many Chiefs and not enough Indians”, somebody has to do the work, not everyone can sit in the administration office.
So how does one self – improve?
In the past, when people have had job security, self-improvement was largely set by goals made in terms of New Year Resolutions. Goals would be things like, “I have to lose ten pounds (modern equivalent would be 5 kilograms); I have to stop smoking; I have to get fitter; I want to read the classic “les miserables”, I must fix that leaking gutter, and so on…
When I was younger, in my teens and twenties, I used to faithfully set pages of goals for myself. Well, you know the story, great start but as time goes by the goals are neglected and forgotten one by one. Eventually I decided to forgo the route of recording my goals at the start of each year and avoid frustration. I smile now when I see some of my girls intently setting goals in their journals, breaking them down into measurable portions, using highlighters, and fancy dividers. So much energy! With tongue in cheek, but semi-seriously, I enquire to their progress. Just like me when I was younger, the goals and system maintenance of the detailed records lapses. But they do seem to be sticking to keeping going far better than I did. As they persist habits start to grow. Good for them, I hope they don’t give up. The youngest keeps her goals private and does not like to share them. My second oldest girl just loves showing me all her fancy programs of keeping records of daily activities.
So what do I do now? Have I just given up goal setting all together?
Nope, I haven’t given up. I have learned to adapt to my tendency of leaning towards disorganisation and chaos by using external factors. For example, to maintain my fitness, I used to play squash with some buddies who were keen. Their keenness to play resulted in nagging which would get me off my rear end onto a squash court. Nowadays I attend an aqua aerobics class for three times a week. The camaraderie of the fellow “splashers” and the encouragement of our instructor keeps me going.
I was never able to attend full time university as the cost was outside my family’s financial capabilities. I paid for myself to get a degree through UNISA, a correspondence university. I found a few folks who we could form a study group together and we would motivate each other to complete the necessary assignments and studying in order to pass the exams at the end of the year.
I also have a beautiful wife who is magnificent in encouraging me (tirelessly) to continue with various studies even when I am lazy or discouraged. I know that in today’s world it is vital to continue improving. To try new things out, and then to persist.
After my surviving some interesting health challenges and all the side effects of various medications, I put on some weight, and as I mentioned in my previous article, I have gone on a “diet”. So each week my weight is recorded and my wife does it with me too. I am losing weight but the loss has decelerated. I had a good laugh because @osmansnr asked me to let him know my progress from time to time. Well that is really great because here is another motivator, who will help me keep on track. Thus I report for the past week, my weight has gone from 76.5 kgs to 76.0 kgs, not much but at least the right way. To improve requires measurement, analysis and reporting. I have measured, I have reported and now I analyse; weekdays are generally good, drink the water and avoid sweets and starches. The weekends are the dangerous time, for example, I went to some friends to help them with tax stuff and fizzy cool drinks and some pizza was consumed by the “wicked one”. I am not blaming my friends at all. But I did control myself in that I only ate three slices of pizza. I should have taken some of my purified water along but I didn’t. I know that I will not drink bottled or tap water as I have an e-spring water purifier from AMWAY. Thus I am a water snob as my wife calls me. As the expression goes, “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail!”. So the next time I go to my friends over the weekend, I will take my water along. Honesty is key to reporting accurately.
Now goal setting and self-improvement are not necessarily about doing tough things all the time. An unusual goal that I recently set was to complete my puzzle. I set myself a daily target of doing about 50 pieces a day. May not seem too severe a goal but that is not taking my cats into account. They own my soul and they love to flaunt their cruel power over me. When I am building, both Nancy and Stormy love coming and plonking themselves exactly where I am focussing my attention. They don’t merely sit but love stretching out and rolling themselves. I dare not pick them up because that will offend them. So I move to the other table (after showering the tyrants with affection and scratching gently and stroking) to find other pieces that may fit into the puzzle. They are puzzled why I stopped my devoted ministrations to them after they allow me the great privilege of loving them, and slowly slink off to find another devotee. I have taken a picture to show you of my steady progress.
Some folks set goals to travel. How fantastic to see their goals achieved and their photos shared on this site. I think there are very few who can just travel; planning and much saving is required before these adventures can be undertaken.
Now I am a parent. My wife and I want the best for our girls. It is important for us the parents not to live our lives through the accomplishments of our kids. After all it is their life, not ours. But we do want to give them opportunities that we never had. We want them to improve themselves but the primary effort needs to be their effort, not ours. Encouragement not compulsion. Not to overload them. But to give them chance to stretch themselves. They have been sent to good schools and an even better university. Girl Brownies, piano, sports, cultural activities and a key focus on academic performance are opportunities that they were/are given. We had to carefully monitor the level of activities that were being done to ensure that they had time to be kids as well. And of course each person is completely different in terms of capacities and abilities. But I think we (and by that I mean my wife in particular) have done a pretty good job to raise balanced individuals who can improve themselves in the future. Sounds easy but not! We parents have had to (and still have to) wonder if we have done as well as we could. How could we have done better? Have we messed up our kids? Can they take self-improvement to the next level? Continual doubt and wondering is the lot of an anxious parent.
I love FINISHERS. I love finishing things. NOT to give up when the going gets tough. I look at the elite sportsmen and sportswomen on television and sometimes the program shares the years of sacrifice that these people have made. Not only talent but hard work accompanied by serious self-improvement with setting goals, measuring, reporting and analysis from self and highly professional coaches.
To me a great benefit from self-improvement is the reduction of stress. It is usually like managing the clearing of debts. Where does one start? I asked my wife and she said, “start with the baby that’s crying the loudest.” I like that. Yes, I know that planning is vital but it is better to start doing something rather than nothing. The best self-improvers (if there is such a word) are those who start with the most uncomfortable things. I will never forget what I heard Nancy Dornan say the one time, “I have learned to be comfortable in being uncomfortable”. If you ever get a chance, go and study the lives of Jim and Nancy Dornan. Remarkable people who created hundreds of millionaires. Their initial driving force was to generate “big money” to look after their baby who had spina bifada.
There are benefits for self improvement, maybe money, sports skills, musical skills. But the greatest benefits are self belief and satisfaction with one’s self.
After reading your post, I immediately remembered the parable. I love her very much.
One day a woman had a dream that the Lord of God stood behind the store counter.
Lord! It's you! she exclaimed with joy.
"Yes, it's me," God answered.
And what can You buy? the woman asked.
"I can buy everything," the answer sounded.
In that case, please give me health, happiness, love, success and a lot of money.
God kindly smiled and went into the utility room for the ordered goods. After a while he returned with a small paper box.
And it's all?! exclaimed the surprised and disappointed woman.
"Yes, that's all," God answered and added: "Did not you know that only seeds are sold in my store?"
Propensities, abilities and talents are the seeds you have received from God. Sow the seeds, take care of the shoots and get a harvest - your mission, purpose and meaning of life. God will bless and support you in revealing your destiny. Your destiny is the result of your joint actions with the Higher Powers of Good and Light.
Everyone has a creative potential. Anyone can create, regardless of profession, level of material wealth and age. There are no restrictions for disclosing creativity. It is necessary only one condition - the desire to develop the creative potential of one's personality.So you are as always right, it all depends on ourselves ..
lovely parable, thanks for sharing. I will remember it.
You have written an amazing and very nice content regarding self improvement. its good post and encouraging one. thanks for sharing
I agree with you, we should try to do improvement of yourself day by day, cause its important for our a good personality. I appreciate your kind words your story is very inspirational story. Internet technology is one of the best way, we are here learn many thing's and earn money. You are a lucky dad for your girl.
I hope you've a good life with your family :) Stay blessed!
@originalwork
As you said "self-improvement is very torturous" but for a brighter life we have to change our lives, from bad habits we have to leave it even though it is very torturous ..
Thanks for sharing @fred703
just like a body builder's code "no pain, no gain"
You are absolutely right, you can not expect prosperity without putting any effort to it and only that person who sets a goal in front of him can achieve prosperity! I wish everyone to set a high goal in their lives and achieve it! Thank you @fred703
is so important to aim high, but not too high, baby steps before running
A very deep words @fred703, I really like your posts. Because of your words it can always be a very good motivation for the crowd. The world is now very sophisticated and has many jobs for us who want to try. As in the internet we can work to make money, many things we can do on the internet to make money. Because the important thing we want to try and keep learning, never give up even though it has many challenges. Because to succeed it takes a very big struggle. Thank you for sharing and hopefully you will be more successful to work ... :)
I had a colleague who I thought was quite old but his enthusiasm to learn new things was incredible. Ironically, I am now older than he was but his attitude is something I will always follow.
I like your posts because your post is very useful for me and the crowd, now the world is sophisticated so we have to learn to take the benefit, we have to keep learning to follow the changing world, thank you for sharing
self improvement needs to be done to get to live a more happy, in this world we often live with the things that are not at all useful, we should change it, her example as this smoking habit is not very good, but It is very difficult to leave her despite her agonizing change..
yet if she has the courage and determination to stop the smoking, apart from the health benefits, the self belief she will gain will be powerful
Hey @ fred703, great post! I enjoyed your content. Keep up the good work!
It's always nice to see good content here on Steemit! Cheers :)
thanks. :)
Great motivational words @fred703 .Internet has changed the lives of many people.You know i learnt all the courses from internet and we are here on steemit because of this technology.We can talk and make friends from different parts of the world :)
Its such a great read. This is what i have picked up;
You are such a great responsible and a great caring dad. I believe your girls will always be proud of you as they grow up.
Its such a great example you have set for your girls for them to follow as they grow up and also at some point in their lives, i believe they will do the same to the children they will have.
Thanks for being understanding that is choosing to let your children to have a personal experience in setting goals for themselves even though these may be frustrating at some point as you have ironed it out.
Thanks for sharing sir @fred703
appreciated. but letting our kids have true independence is not easy, especially for a mother
I think absolutely you are right.
I like the content here, there Ofc is several ways to improve one self. I work with personal development daily and what i love most is to help people level up and become happier.
interesting career?
@fred703 now a days i am doing the same like you did in your twenties .but your post is motivational .and i like reply by your wife start with the baby <3
just to do something, eases the stress. it is a modern day killer.
Thanks for the motivation post sir... I'll try it your way.👍
everybody wants to do something aftr the post -graduation so its a great way fr evry prsn to finding their own way.... 😃😃😃👌👌👌...thnxxxx fr sharing this sir...
i like the titale and i will look at the article afer some time .. couse i am on to something else now but for reminder i will restreem it
You made an amazing content, We sould connect and support each other by follow each other. I already following you, please think about that. My apologize if I sent this post to you already.Thanks and greeting from @chanthasam
Thanks for the motivational post!
You have got great writing skills
It's always nice to see a good content here on Steemit!
Keep up the great work @fred703