It was raining when we left. It's like they were one with my tears. I am leaving my daughter for the very first time. My heart is aching and my tears are flowing non-stop. I cannot move, I don't want to let go of her hand. She is very still, staring at me as if she's thinking why I am crying a lot. My mom get her from me and told me to leave now because it's getting late. I ride the motorcycle with my husband still crying. I want her in my arms. It's like a part of me is left behind. I am dying on the inside.
My husband helps me get the blues away. Makes jokes along the way and even offers me sweets and food for me to feel good. The ship has arrived and my brother fetch us from the outside. We are riding for free the ship for free. Thanks to my brother who ranks second mate. He then assists is on our way to the first class cabin and after some talk he left. I feeling better now. We ate and then I tried to sleep. I slept and then woke up crying. I check the clock and it's already 12:00 am, the time when I am breastfeeding my baby. I cried again and was not able to go back to sleep until we dock on the port of Batangas. Is this feeling real to all mothers being away from their child? or it is just me?
photo from google
I was starring at the window bus as we drive our way to the city. A lot of thoughts was running on my mind. Am I ready to be back in the city? Is this the life that I wanted?How about my child? Does she want this thing to happen? I am lost.
I am back in Manila for a week to process some documents. I am still dizzy from our travel but I need to start the day early as I have a lot of things to accomplish. I headed to the bank after having breakfast and thanks God I was able to process my account. Then I ride a bus heading Quezon City. While I am getting my purse for payment I remember to check my valid ID's on my wallet. I was shock to find out that my UMID was not there and remember that I left it on the bank. On that note, I immediately went off the bus and ride back home where the bank is near. It was a hassle for me because I was running out of time. It's already 2:00 pm and still I'm in Caloocan.
I just keep my faith on God that I can make it today. As I ride the jeepney, heavy rain pours down and it was like 'Oh come on why now!'. I was shaking on the inside because I am not feeling well and the weather is cold but I forgot my jacket. This journey is a mess (I thought). Another thing to be angry with is that the jeepney driver drop me off in an open area with no people and heavy rain still pouring. I was almost wet but I have to continue walking until I find someone to talk to and ask for directions. Luckily the people on that area are kind to let me know the exact location of the tricycle where I have to ride on to reach my next destination - the Civil Service Commission Office.
I arrived in the CSC office at 3:30 pm, my pants and shoes still wet and I am shaking. As I enter, I saw a lot of people inline waiting for their certificate to be released. I was able to talk to one of them and she told me she was waiting for more than two hours now and still the certificate is not yet released. Then I said to myself, this is a wrong timing. If she waited for more than two hours, what will happen to me? The office will soon close at 5:00 pm and I just arrived at 3:30 pm.
Trying my luck, I passed the requirements and proceed with the process. I registered my name and other details on the computer, got a mug shot and pay for the fee then waited on the chair while chilling. Name after name was called and it was already 4:30pm. I am about to loss hope but then my name was called! I was feeling so blessed because it was process for about an hour while the others waited for so long. I thank God a lot.
On my way home I was starving to death because my last meal is 10:00 am and since then I haven't eat any. I saw a grilled corn and asks the lady to give me one. She says it cost 15 pesos each but if I buy two it would only cost 25 pesos. I agreed to her and when I was about to pay, she said I will add one more corn but you have to pay me 30 pesos. And I was happy!!! I got the corn for only 10 pesos each.
I was eating while on the jeepney heading back to Quezon City. I am not familiar with the place so when I saw that I was near the MRT I immediately tell the driver to drop me off. To my surprise, what I saw is not an MRT rail but an overpass. I laugh at myself and ride another jeepney going MRT. I got a discount on the corn that I bought but then my fare was doubled.
That was a long day. I am happy that I have accomplish what I needed for the day and it has a funny story to tell. My teardrops was turned into happiness because though I left my daughter back home, I have my certificate now and I can start my job application at government office so that I can be with my child once again.
@tears are always present to help us realize that their are also joys in life.
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Love,
@loraine
Hard to leave your baby and Good thing you just waited for an hour. Pero lumaki mata ko talaga sa Mais. Hehe.
A sad, funny way going to Manila, to Quezon City and get back home. Lol!
It was an adventure indeed @iwrite
best wishes
Thank you @bitpost!
glad you got your papers processed quickly
Yes mam Daisy despite of the heavy rain I am glad that I have accomplished what I needed.
IT's quite an adventure for a day!
Yes it is @purpleheart.
A geniune love from a mother to a child is hard to find. But I have found one in you. Thanks for sharing. Im sure your family is proud of you. Keep it up!
Thanks @stewart-suarez. My mother taught me how to love genuinely because she showed it to us even though she's abroad and working.
great job you passed that, yeah even my mother told me it is hard to leave a baby.
Congrats, sis! Hard work paid!