RE: The Underground | Tell A Story to Me | Original Fiction

You really know how to open a story. You establish so much, in so little, and create a situation I just have to know more about. I am always so glad when you manage to make a round, you have a real gift for telling a story that balances the simple and complex that just works so very well, and makes a story so easy to enjoy that it is impossible not to love it.

The way this one unravelled, you led me into the darkness with you, and i loved every moment of it. There is a beautiful parallel between the story and the way you told it, at first, your character was blind, as was I: the characters physical situation matching the amount of information available to the reader, creating a wonderfully gripping pull that made it impossible to glance away for even a split second. I hope you don’t mind me saying, but it maybe could have done with another quick proof read or edit, just noticed the spelling on character names at one point. There is a passion in the writing that just really comes across, it makes it so very enjoyable.

I do really like that he stumbles across the hollow earth by accident, having fled deeper into the caves, not caring if his life is lost, as long as he isn’t caught, that driving desperation. The idea of the hollow earth being something that was populated more recently works so well and although this is quite short, it still feels like a complete story. I love that your hollow earth is entirely believable, gentle rivers, caverns, fishes. They are so readily accepting of new people, I feel like this could very easily be the first chapter of a novel. (she says… hopefully...)