My therapist said I shouldn't rush to trust my feelings. Just because I had deep feelings, that didn't have to be good for me. But I love Sam. Completely and desperately, as a child loves his parents.
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The cliché would be to put my father in his place but that's not it. I loved her as I loved my mother. It made me feel safe and cared.
Then one day I asked him what would happen if he suddenly died. I wanted to get some notices that I was important to him, but he replied “As long as I live, I will do what I can for you. And I never want to talk about it again. Ve
I feel like I got a hard punch. But I was feeling so stupid, not to me. Why didn't I try to get a better career for all these years? Why did I postpone building an independent life? But I still couldn't leave him.
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Another day, while he was eating together, he started to talk about our borders and the updated rules, and something changed me. The hole in my heart was irreplaceable by anyone but me. I should have loved myself before everyone else. I finally figured it out. And when we got up from the table and started walking, I left without saying a word. I never saw him again.
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