Interesting Post. Why I say that is because it gives some idea of your mindscape. I see you as wandering around in the dark, and wondering why there is no light.
You will have to forgive my style of writing, I am a dyslexic, and yes I had a very hard time at school. It took me quite some time to figure out that there are pluses and well as the original minuses, I can now see that what is obvious to some is not to me and what I can grasp immediately others cannot.
If we had to build a house to live in, then quite a lot of people appear to be wondering just what to do about the chimney pots, how many and where they should be situated, whereas I start by digging the foundations. If you don't have foundations your chimney pots will simply smash on the ground when you let go of them.
So an event happened, and I think most people will agree, an event is preceded by a cause. If there is no cause there is no event. The difficulty that Stephen Hawkings preceived was that the four dimensions, or if you insist the nine, or eleven dimensions came into being at the same time because you cannot have one without the others. So either we do not exist or there was no natural cause for the Big Bang. I am convinced I exists. There being no time "before" the Big Bang that makes all natural possibilities impossible which only leaves a supernatural possibility.
Enjoy.