There's a few days left on the clock, but I've stopped counting the minutes. Am I giving up?
Not quite. We are in the final stretch of my timeboxing experiment for January, and more than anything, I've discovered and learned an insurmountable amount about myself. Every habit, and attitude I have towards everything in my life are reflected directly on where my beliefs, standards, and morales lay. Because I felt anxious, I wouldn't start. When I procrastinated, I would end up rushing. The reason I am not using the alarm is because the crutch is not needed anymore!
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Is it weird to say that because I changed my schedule, my outlooks and attitude changed? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?
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Your Whole Day Is Weighed Against How it Begins
I woke up this morning really early, hours before my alarm was to go off. I got out of bed to shower, and I don't know about you- but I very much enjoy listening to music while I do it! Don't hate on me; but for a while it has been the same two songs everyday xD I listen to Britney Spears's "Stronger", and Michael Jackson's "Heal The World". Doing this helps me accomplish two things.
- Time myself in the shower subconsciously
- Set the atmosphere/mentality for the day
In a way, I am trying to get out of the bed on the right side everyday. Now that this has become a regular thing, I look back wondering what the literal f*** have I been doing in the shower for half an hour at a time? Many people like to use this time to reflect on their upcoming day or the one before it, and although I was fighting against myself to admit it- There is such a thing as overthinking.
Thinking about taking steps is still less than taking a single step forward, no matter how small that step may be.
The precious time I wanted to reserve for my most important activities has been leaking down the drain the entire time, outside of my own awareness. I would then leak more of my time, a distraction here or there, one extra thing... Before I knew it my day was spent, but was it well?
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Who Shello Was Before
I was always passionate and try-hard for anything that I wanted to achieve the past several years, but I lacked the direction and understanding of the process to reach those goals I had set. I would roll out of bed, miss breakfast, hurry out the door, and many times I would literally be running to work to get there on time. I've even caught a cab to work if I was certain I wouldn't make it in time.
I would come into work out of breath, and after the shift, be exhausted out of my mind. It wasn't that my job was difficult, but one moment of panic began a domino effect. I wasn't as tired as I thought I was, but my day started hectic, and it would stay that way. This is a common issue a lot of people in the workforce come into on a regular basis. Not enough sleep, rushing to work, until a burnout takes place. For me, this not only screwed my morning routine, but several days of my life back to back.
Remember how I said that I was leaking my time away? It's one of the harder pills to swallow. I have many friends that oversleep due to burn out that arrive late. The true issue is not having enough sleep, you can only cheat the body for so long. Why there is not enough sleep is because of sleeping late. Don't lie, you binge social media and video streaming services for an hour or two after you get home. Maybe there is something you need to catch up on as well?
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More of a Trade Than a Compromise
A big part of making time for personal goals and schedule changes is understanding that you have to give up some of the old habits, to make room for the new ones. Everyone views habits as traits you can stack up, but they all have their own quantitive space, you can only have so many at a time. I have to trade binging in order to be able to sleep early, which in turn lets me have more leisure time when it's needed instead of rushing through important things because I played around too much.
Trading is NOT Sacrificing
I used to mess this up too. You don't have to give up the things that you like straight up to make room for things you want to achieve. I still watch my favorite shows, but only as an episode or two, here and there. I go out sometimes with friends, but decline at other times. It's okay to not be around all the time, the only person you need to worry about letting down is YOU!
As long as the entertainment is not in excess (unless planned) having fun sometimes can only benefit your well-being. It's when we get into the mindset of not being able to enjoy ourselves because we need to work hard, and not trusting that you can put away the fun is where we begin to slip in making changes. What helps me is a little reward system, for every big thing I finish I can take a little break. I can have snacks at my desk because I'm giving my all. Being kind to yourself can dispell anxiety, and frustration. It isn't being lazy, it is being selective of what comforts and luxuries you will gift youself for working hard!
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Setting Yourself Up For Success
I've graduated from the alarm clock, and my phone alarm in the morning. The Shello now, is a little different since the beginning of the year. I go to sleep some days hella early, we're talking like 9pm. But because of this, I can wake up early and well rested, shower, have breakfast, do a bunch of tasks, then stroll slowly to work. The beautiful thing about this is that it doesn't hurt and every morning is a breeze, now that I can feel the wind touch my face.
When I tackle anything now; whether it be work, school, or blogging, I can walk into it with a clear, calm, and refreshed mind. It's almost like living in a different world.
Living in The Moment Allows For More
Now don't get me wrong, everything still needs to get done. You can be ambitious and laid back too, and even now watching these words being typed, I'm grateful for how far I've come. The only worry thought that should happen for a task, is when you are physically able to do it. When I am at work, I have absolutely no time to worry about school, blogging, friends, or anything else. This was a major factor in conquering my anxiety.
Even if I can think about it, it will do no good to not be able to do something about it right in that moment. This will make you get distracted, and lose focus at what's right in front of you. You will picture yourself somewhere else, doing something else; and THAT's the secret of why work feels slow. I give all of my attention to the customer, and in exchange, I can blink- and my shift is done. Thinking about other areas of time (past/future) distorts your perception of the moment.
Your 100% is Not Always 100%
I had to get over myself. Thinking that over-nighters are better than actually sleeping. It's not. When you are working hard towards any goal, you gotta really hype yourself up sometimes, to convince yourself you can really do it. It's not giving up to want to give your all when you are capable. If I gave 100% when I felt like 25%, it's going to come out at 25% no matter how much I try to believe otherwise.
Since I am no longer forcing all-nighters, I wake up at a reasonable time, and can casually go about my day until something needs my attention, and I can give it. If I feel sick, or not up to something then it can wait. We pressure ourselves into believing that everything is urgent, we panic more, procrastinate more, and wind up a self fulfilling prophecy. Most things be done later, but it's up to you, your goals, and disciplines that decide how long that wait will be.
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The Law of "NO FREE TIME"
This is a concept I have been flirting with for many years, that I have experienced in bursts, but not consistent enough to document nor explain. As I get closer to ending my experiment, I feel that I have an actual basis now to state it.
When we have few things to do, finding the strength and drive is difficult, but it is not due to not having enough hours in a day, but moreso how we perceive and move with time itself. The law of no free time is about the abundance of time. You would think that the more things there are to do, the harder it gets right? The law of no free time, says it's reverse. The more things to do, the more time will be found to get them done.
My experiment has shown me, that after I understood what parameters constituted me completing specific things, that there was actually a lot of time remaining. With timeboxing, we can become more aware of the flow of time itself, our relations to it, and how much of it is used in auto-pilot.
Our choices are based on perception, by widening it, options and choices that did not once appear viable can be penciled in the white space.
Where It All Began
Such excellent and thorough writing, love. We really can trick ourselves with our words. There is always an abundance of time to do the things we want to do. So, that is the question. What do you really want to do? I super duper recommend taking 15 minutes each morning for yourself. Journal, meditate, do a gratitude list, do yoga, whatever calls to you. Nurturing yourself each morning will narrow your focus of what you really want and actually magically create more time each day. I wrote about my meditation process recently. It hasn't been always - or even mostly - pretty, but you might find some gems. Let me know what you think.
Heya mama!
Sorry I haven't been around much, getting over a chest cold. Reserving some time each day for ourselves will definitely keep us performing at our best! I write in a diary, or take naps to help refuel and recharge myself. I haven't meditated in quite a while. Will give your post a look though, thank you!! <3
No worries. It's good to connect again. I've totally depleted my voting power, so I will come back in a day or two. Glad you're taking good care of yourself.
Too true. I have a lot of success in my life overall, but time management is something that still eludes me, OFTEN. I've read books and set reminders, tried different strategies, etc....
Sometimes I still end up screwing up my day--and worse, my family's.
It stresses me out to do things back-to-back, and so when I have to, I need downtime--and that downtime that feels like 6 minutes to me is in reality 2 hours or something. It just melts away and I'm lost.
Anyway. Glad to read your experiences here... I do think that I may be stuck in that whole trap of giving 100% of the 25% I have left over....brilliant description. <3
I feel your struggle. I used to be almost addicted to reading self-help books, blogs, watching videos where I would learn the "secret techniques" that others swore by. What I learned is that many of these don't work for me. One major thing that I've learned about my own productivity and time management from my own experiences is that it is almost NEVER the tasks themselves or what you are doing.
What I see as the goal here is to find the methods that match your reasons, philosophy, and mindset that work best for you. Many of the practices I do aren't in those books.
Make your own system! Even if other people aren't doing the same thing, it's okay because they aren't living your life. Only recently have I passed up all nighters and trying to do everything now. All time management is based on urgent/non urgent, important/non important. In my reality, I have it divided into the amount of mental focus required. Do the brainless things first if you want momentum. Or save them for last, when you don't want evening headaches.
As long as you are trying in the way that works for you, you begin to realize that most of "the race" is in our own minds!
A lot of it is counter-intuitive, but resting when you are tired is one of the best things you can do for yourself. To me, everything else is less important. I can't do anything if I'm exhausted ♡
Self-help addiction is real! I was in that cycle for awhile too, until I realized it was cyclical, and instead chose to focus on things that inspired growth and action--instead of just repeating the same love-and-light BS. :)
And you're so right--EVERYthing starts with self-care and self-love, really...
After being so much for the addiction, I realized that experience and trying new things does beat out a lot of it. Love and light... My godness, there is so many times that I read something motivational that simply has no basis in reality.
No more generalized self-help! Everytime I find myself over-thinking, it's time to do something c:
No free time! My time is all free, yet none of it is. I could do anything, and all of the something's feel worthy. Damn why couldn't I find the coffee when I woke up? My day is wrecked, but I still have to do the things... Hmmmmm ramble
Yes! We all like to believe we use our time wisely but we do gotta practice too. It's about being blind to issues, but knowing when you will be able to dedicate solving them. Your morning is when you feel awake, not dictated by the number on the clock c: