I think dialogue tags (simple ones, he said, she said) have their place. I have read stories where characters are constantly moving things and fiddling about whilst talking. It can be really annoying, if it is over done. It is distracting from the dialogue, sometimes. As you say he said is virtually invisible, so doesn't interrupt the flow ("Sometimes," he said. "You need a slight pause, but don't need to be interrupted or distracted").
He pulled his finger from his nose and wiped it on the keyboard. "That's my opinion, anyway."
I'd disinfect that keyboard if I were you.
Well, you do have a point, and I'm not against dialogue tags, either. I wouldn't have hammered on the proper formatting and punctuation of them if I didn't think they had their place. I just believe that the necessity of them is overrated.
If your characters are having an ongoing discussion, there is definitely a place for a strategically placed dialogue tag. But like everything else in writing, you need to think about it. Like I said, I'm not against them. But think about where you need them, and where they become just a crutch to the writer.
I'm a big fan of using moderation, I guess. ;-) Lots and lots of moderation.
LOL! :)
It's also possible that the cases where you felt it bogged things down used the WRONG actions. It only works when the actions and descriptions accurately reflect the behavior of the characters in the situation. The fiddling has to be showing something about the characters. Are they nervous? Are they insecure? Are they lying? It has to fit the situation and not just be fiddling.
But often(particularly I'm dialogue heavy scenes) people don't do anything. My point is that he said tags are useful here because they are invisible. Actions that don't add anything (or try to hard) get in the way of the action of dialogue. I don't dispute the usefulness of action and description, but it needs to be done well
Well, feel free to have a look at any of my short stories. I almost never use a dialogue tag and have never received comments on the dialogue being bogged down. You need to add the right details, and the right amount of them. But for me it makes it come alive. A conversation is never just that. It's words, tone, gestures, body language...
You lose that part of the interaction when you don't describe at least a bit of it.
I hope you don't think I am criticising you, or your writing. You are obviously a very skilled writer, and have found what works for you. I also think that the tips you provide are really useful, and clear. I worry that inexperienced writers might get bogged down in descriptions that don't move the story onward, when a simple he said might be better used (every now and then, NOT every time that someone speaks). I am not against the use of description of action instead of tags - I use this myself with tags too. I have even written a story with no tags or description (just dialogue, with only two words happening outside of quotation marks). That works too if you have distinct voices. (if you are interested it was written a couple of years ago https://brucearbuckle.com/2015/10/19/one-beadh-of-a-trip/).
Don't worry. If I felt insulted, you'd know it. ;-)
I'm... rather impulsive that way... :-D