So yesterday I decided to trade again after 2 weeks of sitting in fiat and watching how bears keep destroying delusional crypto enthusiasts (I believe in the future as well, but there is no reason to give away my money in short-term I think). And I started slowly with a clear plan to buy at the bottom (which happened to be the top) and keep adding little by little as the price goes down. This kind of plan has always worked for me... but only when I was following it. This time, however, I was convinced that we reached the bottom and bought shit loads (way more than my bank allows me to) of ETC to watch it bounce a little to sell. It never bounced and only kept going south.
I became frustrated.
I panic sold.
I panic bought back.
I couldn't control my emotions. By the way, who knows where to buy a new mouse? This old one crashed into pieces somehow...
The market bounced eventually, but I sold way too early, but still cut my loses at least by a little.
It all happened in minutes but I felt how this uncontrollable urge to gamble rushed through my veins again. It has been a while since I faced my desire to gamble and risk it all and I was almost certain that it was behind me for good already. However, now I know that those deep desires never go away. They just hide in the shadows waiting for even the slightest opening to creep back in and get you. So be safe at war against yourself.
Anyway, I went to sleep with -500 euros. Woke up today, went down by 300 more. I didn't even trade it seemed - just made some quick buys and sells and paid the fees. I had no conviction and belief in my decisions. I made the right calls but couldn't capitalize on those calls because of my state of being. And that is super important to remember - even though you can call the top and the bottom, it doesn't mean that you will follow your predictions in the real market, which knows how to get you rekt. It is designed to get you rekt. However, I was fortunate enough to buy complete bottom before this bounce. And yet again, I sold way too early (like 2k too early). Anyway, I cut my loses from 800 to 350. And that is when the most amazing thing happened.
I was sitting completely exhausted with 350 fewer euros in my trading balance, smiling and feeling happy as if I have just won a freaking lottery.
It is amazing how gambling is designed to make us feel like winners when we lose 1,000,000 and win back 500. Have you ever noticed that as well, or is it just me?
Anyway, with momentum shifting, I made a few more good calls and even made a little profit in the end. And now, when I reflect on my trades, I can tell you that it was not the market that rekt me, but I did it myself. I let myself down and made the worst decisions ever which I would never make if I traded without emotions with my head completely clean. I am just glad that I did not have to pay too much for this lesson. Once again the life showed me that I am never in control, even when it comes to controlling my own feelings and emotions. That is sad, isn't it? And if you think that you are in control of yourself, well, I guess you will have to learn the truth in a hard way.
Getting rekt is an important lesson so appreciate it. That will make you feel much better.
And another thing I learned from all this experience is that whenever you lose money, you must always try to win it back as fast as you can. If you have a chance to use x100 leverage, do it. Also, if you think that these two last advices are honest and true... maybe gambl.... trading is not for you.
It is always these emotional swings that must be watched. back in september i noticed my fears and doubts effecting my decisions. this correction has gone much better for me. i feel at ease and just take little nibbles on the way down...i just stopped trying to think i could game the market. pre made some marks that i would buy and that i would sell...and just let it ride. stepped away from it completely. was kinda blissful actually. came back and read all the FUD and just found myself laughing... maybe i have lost my mind...hehe ive upvoted and commented a few times for you ...but im not sure if you have clicked onto who this Butt is.
Yeah, I am usually calm as well, but sometimes my gambler soul wakes up and screws things up haha. And still, I am young and dumb enough to believe that I can beat the market if I learn to beat myself first lol
And I am feeling so guilty that I haven't checked who you are before, Brian. Honestly, it is the biggest surprise ever to see someone I know in real life on Steemit. How the hell did you end up here? haha. I hope you, your family, and San Marcos are doing well. Damn, I would love to come visit Hostal Del Lago. It is one of those rare places in the world that makes me want to come back to. That is special, man! I couldn't expect to see a better person behind this Butt haha. You are still my favorite host!
P.S. I see that you take SBD at Hostal Del Lago. That is awesome, to say the least!
Nice post.I respect you very much because you contribute to steemit.I will do activities like you.I would like to extend the steemit.